105 The Office Quotes with Images 📸🖼️
The Office Quotes
1. Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way.
Tags: Public Speaking | TV Show Quotes | Writers Block | The Office |
2. I talk a lot, so I’ve learned to tune myself out.
Tags: TV Show Quotes | The Office | Talking Too Much |
3. Would I rather be feared or loved?
Easy.
Both.
I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.
Tags: Fear | TV Show Quotes | The Office | Loved | Fear Of Losing | I Would Rather |
4. I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.
Tags: TV Show Quotes | The Office | Superstition |
5. Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year.
Tags: TV Show Quotes | The Office | Identity Theft |
6. I am running away from my responsibilities. And it feels good.
Tags: TV Show Quotes | Responsibility | The Office | Feel Good |
7. I just want to lie on the beach and eat hot dogs. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.
Tags: TV Show Quotes | Life Goals | The Office | Carefree | All I Ever Wanted | Hot Dog Puns |
8. If I were buying my coffin, I would get one with thicker walls so you couldn’t hear the other dead people.
Tags: TV Show Quotes | Death | The Office | Wall | Hearing |
9. And I knew exactly what to do. But in a much more real sense, I had no idea what to do.
Tags: TV Show Quotes | Realization | The Office | No Idea |
10. There’s a lot of beauty in ordinary things. Isn’t that kind of the point?
Tags: TV Show Quotes | Beauty | Minimalism | The Office | Simplicity |
11. Oh, it is on, like a prawn who yawns at dawn.
Tags: TV Show Quotes | Fight | Annoyingly Funny | The Office | Nonsense | Quotes that will make you cry |
12. One day Michael came in and complained about a speed bump on the highway. I wonder who he ran over then.
Tags: TV Show Quotes | Sarcastic | The Office | Speed Bump | Highway |
13. Mini cupcakes?
As in the mini version of regular cupcakes?
Which is already a mini version of cake?
Honestly, where does it end with you people?????
Tags: TV Show Quotes | The Office | Cupcakes | Complaining | Third World Problems | Oh God Why | Funny Food | Quotes that will make you cry | Cake Puns |
14. I don't care what they say about me. I just want to eat.
Which I realize is a lot to ask for. At a dinner party.
Tags: TV Show Quotes | I Dont Care | The Office | Funny Food | Quotes that will make you cry |
15. That's what she said.
Tags: TV Show Quotes | The Office | Poor Joke |
16. Sorry I annoyed you with my friendship.
Tags: TV Show Quotes | Sarcastic | Fake Friendship | The Office | Ungrateful | Thankless |
17. I am one of the few people who looks hot eating a cupcake.
Tags: TV Show Quotes | The Office | Hot | Cupcakes | Cake Puns |
18. I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.
Tags: Life | TV Show Quotes | Find A Way | Way Of Life | The Office | Good Old Days |
19. What are your weaknesses?
"I don't have any, a--hole"
Tags: TV Show Quotes | Weakness | The Office | Job | Interview |
20. You only live once?
False.
You live every day.
You only die once.
Tags: Life | Quotes that make you think | TV Show Quotes | Death | Wrong | The Office | Live |
21. The doctor said, if I can't find a new way to relate more positively to my surroundings, I'm going to die.
I'm going to die.
Tags: TV Show Quotes | Find A Way | Negativity | Death | Positive Thinking | The Office | Doctor |
22. It takes an advanced sense of humor.
I don't expect everybody to understand.
Tags: Expectations | TV Show Quotes | The Office | Sense Of Humor | Poor Joke | Advanced |
23. I stopped caring a long time ago.
Tags: TV Show Quotes | I Dont Care | The Office | Carefree | Stopped |
24. Whenever I'm about to do something, I think,
'Would an idiot do that?' and if they would,
I do not do that thing.
Tags: TV Show Quotes | Idiot | Sarcastic | Thinking | Savage Comebacks | The Office | Do Something |
25. I live by one rule: No office romances, no way. Very messy, inappropriate…no.
But, I live by another rule:
Just do it…Nike.
Tags: TV Show Quotes | The Office | No Way | Messy | Inappropriate | Rules | Just Do It |
26. In the Schrute family, the youngest child raises the others.
I’ve been raising children since I was a baby.
Tags: TV Show Quotes | Family | Children | The Office | Raising Children | Baby |
27. ’R’ is among the most menacing of sounds. That’s why they call it ‘murder’ and not ‘mukduk.
Tags: TV Show Quotes | The Office | R | Menace | Murder |
28. I’m not a millionaire.
I thought I would be by the time I was 30, but I wasn’t even close.
Then I thought maybe by 40, but by 40 I had less money than I did when I was 30.
Tags: TV Show Quotes | Money | Sarcastic | The Office | Millionaire | Time | Turning 30 | Turning 40 | Less Money |
29. Jim is my enemy.
But it turns out that Jim is also his own worst enemy. And the enemy of my enemy is my friend.
So Jim, is actually my friend.
But, because he is his own worst enemy, the enemy of my friend is my enemy so actually Jim is my enemy.
Tags: Friendship | TV Show Quotes | Confused | Enemy | The Office | Frenemies | Mixed Feelings | Worst |
30. I feel God in this Chili’s tonight.
Tags: Fear | TV Show Quotes | Feelings | Public Speaking | The Office | Speech | Awards | Stage Fright | Chilis | Tonight |
31. As it turns out, you can’t just check someone into rehab against their will. They have to do it voluntarily.
They have to hit rock bottom.
So I think I know what I need to do at this point. I need to find ways to push Meredith to the bottom.
Um. I think I can do it.
Tags: TV Show Quotes | The Office | Rehab | Will | Hitting Rock Bottom |
32. I used to be obese. Once you’ve conquered obesity, everything else is easy. Life literally moves in slow motion.
I’m not saying I’m Superman, but let me just put it this way. If I were shot in the head, I’m pretty sure everything would be fine. I’d almost welcome it.
Tags: Life | TV Show Quotes | Easy | Satire | The Office | Obesity | Conquer | Superman | Over Confidence | Superhero |
33. Every so often, Jim dies of boredom.
Tags: TV Show Quotes | The Office | Boredom |
34. Well, today was a fantastic waste of time.
Tags: TV Show Quotes | The Office | Boredom | Waste of Time |
35. Guess what, I have flaws. What are they?
Oh, I don’t know. I sing in the shower.
Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I’ll hit somebody with my car. So sue me.
Tags: TV Show Quotes | The Office | Flaws | Volunteering | Sue Me |
36. My, philosophy is, basically this. And this is something that I live by. And I always have. And I always will. Don’t, ever, for any reason, do anything, to anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what, no matter where, or who you are with, or, or where you are going, or, or where you’ve been. Ever. For any reason. Whatsoever.
Tags: TV Show Quotes | Confused | Wrong | The Office | Philosophy | Speech |
37. If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice.
Tags: Burn | TV Show Quotes | Hate | The Office | Gun | Frenemies | Irritated |
38. Nobody should have to go to work thinking, ‘Oh this is the place that I might die today.’ That’s what a hospital is for.
An office is for not dying. An office is a place to live life to the fullest. To the max.
To…an office is a place where dreams come true.
Tags: TV Show Quotes | Work Life | Work Motivation | Death | Dream | The Office | Hospital | Today | Live Life |
39. There are always a million reasons not to do something.
Tags: Inspirational Women | Motivational | TV Show Quotes | The Office | Reasons | Follow Your Dream |
40. Why are you the way that you are?
Tags: Burn | TV Show Quotes | Sarcastic | The Office | Oh God Why |
41. Bros before hos. Why? Because your bros are always there for you. They have got your back after your ho rips out your heart for no good reason. And you are nothing but great to your ho, and you told her that she was the only ho for you, and that she was better than all the other hos in the world. And then, suddenly, she’s not your ho no mo.
Tags: TV Show Quotes | The Office | Bro | Heart Break |
42. Oh my God it’s happening! Everybody stay calm. Stay f*cking calm!
Tags: TV Show Quotes | The Office | Keep Calm | Dont Keep Calm |
43. I feel like all my kids grew up, and then they married each other. It’s every parent’s dream.
Tags: TV Show Quotes | Dream | The Office | Kids |
44. I do not like pregnant women in my workspace. They’re always complaining.
I have varicose veins, too.
I have swollen ankles.
I’m constantly hungry.
Do you think my nipples don’t get sore too?
Do you think I don’t need to know the fastest way to the hospital?
Tags: TV Show Quotes | The Office | Complaining | Pregnant |
45. I have been trying to get on jury duty every year since I was 18 years old. To get to go sit it in an air conditioned room, downtown, judging people, while my lunch is paid for … that is the life.
Tags: Judgemental | TV Show Quotes | The Office | Jury Duty | Thats Called Life |
46. Newsflash: You are not special.
Tags: TV Show Quotes | The Office | You Are Not Special |
47. DID I STUTTER?
Tags: TV Show Quotes | The Office | Stuttering | Passive Aggressive |
48. It’s like I used to tell my wife. I do not apologize unless I think I’m wrong.
And if you don’t like it you can leave.
And I say the same thing to my current wife and I’ll say it to my next one, too.
Tags: TV Show Quotes | Wrong | Wife | The Office | Leave |
49. Four years ago, I was just a guy who had a crush on a girl who had a boyfriend.
And I had to do the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, which was just to wait.
For a really long time that’s all I had. I just had little moments with a girl who saw me as a friend.
And a lot of people told me I was crazy to wait this long for a date with a girl who I worked with, but I think even then I knew that I was waiting for my wife.
Tags: Love Quotes for Her | Love | TV Show Quotes | Marriage | Crush | Hard To Impress | Real Love | Unconditional Love | Wife | Real Love | The Office | Waiting | Little Moments | Crazy |
50. I have a lot of questions. Number one, how dare you?
Tags: TV Show Quotes | Question | The Office | How Dare You |
51. Whether you’re scared of dying, or dying alone, or dying drunk in a ditch, don’t be.
It’s going to be OK.
Tags: TV Show Quotes | Death | The Office | Scared | Its OK |
52. I work hard all day. I like knowing that there’s going to be a break. Most days I just sit and wait for the break.
Tags: TV Show Quotes | Work Hard | Lazy | The Office | Chill | Demotivational Work | Break |
53. Ultimatums are key.
Basically nobody does anything for me unless I threaten to kill myself.
Tags: TV Show Quotes | The Office | Do Something | Ultimatum | Nobody | Favor | Threatening | Kill | Emotional Blackmail |
54. I normally don’t enjoy making people laugh.
Tags: TV Show Quotes | Laughing | The Office | Enjoy |
55. Me think, why waste time say lot word, when few word do trick.
Tags: TV Show Quotes | The Office | Waste of Time | Trick |
56. No, I’m not going to tell them about the downsizing. If a patient has cancer, you don’t tell them.
Tags: TV Show Quotes | Annoyingly Funny | The Office | Poor Joke | Downsizing | Patience | Stupid | Quotes that will make you cry |
57. Look, it doesn’t take a genius to know that every organization thrives when it has two leaders. Go ahead, name a country that doesn’t have two presidents. A boat that sets sail without two captains. Where would Catholicism be without the popes?
Tags: TV Show Quotes | Sarcastic | The Office | Genius | Sailor | Ship |
58. I run a small fake-ID company from my car with a laminating machine that I swiped from the Sheriff’s station.
Tags: TV Show Quotes | The Office |
59. If I don’t have some cake soon, I might die.
Tags: TV Show Quotes | Foodie | Death | The Office | Cupcakes | Funny Food | Quotes that will make you cry | Cake Puns |
60. Powerpoints are the peacocks of the business world; all show, no meat.
Tags: TV Show Quotes | Work Life | Boring | Showing Off | The Office | Peacock | Powerpoint | Meat |
61. My roommate wants to meet everybody. Because I’m pretty sure he thinks I’m making Dwight up. He is very real.
Tags: TV Show Quotes | The Office | Meet | Very Real |
62. Look, I know the reason that you guys became accountants is ’cause you’re not good at interacting with people. But guess what? From now on, you guys are no longer losers. So gives yourselves a round of applause.
