1. Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way.

- Michael Scott

104 The Office Quotes - Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it a
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Tags: Public Speaking   |    TV Show Quotes   |    Writers Block   |    The Office   |   



2. I talk a lot, so I’ve learned to tune myself out.

- Kelly Kapoor

104 The Office Quotes - I talk a lot, so I’ve learned to tune myself out.
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    Talking Alot   |   



3. Would I rather be feared or loved?

Easy.

Both.

I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.

- Michael Scott

104 The Office Quotes - Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they l
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Tags: Fear   |    TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    Loved   |    Fear Of Losing   |   



4. I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.

- Michael Scott

104 The Office Quotes - I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    Superstition   |   



5. Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year.

- Dwight Schrute


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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    Identity Theft   |   



6. I am running away from my responsibilities. And it feels good.

- Michael Scott

104 The Office Quotes - I am running away from my responsibilities. And it feels good.
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Responsibility   |    The Office   |    Feel Good   |   



7. I just want to lie on the beach and eat hot dogs. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.

- Kevin Malone

104 The Office Quotes - I just want to lie on the beach and eat hot dogs. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Life Goals   |    The Office   |    Carefree   |    All I Ever Wanted   |    Hot Dog   |   



8. If I were buying my coffin, I would get one with thicker walls so you couldn’t hear the other dead people.

- Dwight Schrute


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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Death   |    The Office   |    Wall   |    Hearing   |   



9. And I knew exactly what to do. But in a much more real sense, I had no idea what to do.

- Michael Scott

104 The Office Quotes - And I knew exactly what to do. But in a much more real sense, I had no idea what to do.
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Realization   |    The Office   |    No Idea   |   



10. There’s a lot of beauty in ordinary things. Isn’t that kind of the point?

- Pam Beesly

104 The Office Quotes - There’s a lot of beauty in ordinary things. Isn’t that kind of the point?
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Beauty   |    Minimalism   |    The Office   |    Simplicity   |   



11. Oh, it is on, like a prawn who yawns at dawn.

- Andy Bernard

104 The Office Quotes - Oh, it is on, like a prawn who yawns at dawn.
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Fight   |    Annoyingly Funny   |    The Office   |    Senseless   |   



12. One day Michael came in and complained about a speed bump on the highway. I wonder who he ran over then.

- Jim Halpert

104 The Office Quotes - One day Michael came in and complained about a speed bump on the highway. I wonder who he ran over th
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Sarcastic   |    The Office   |    Speed Bump   |    Highway   |   



13. Mini cupcakes?

As in the mini version of regular cupcakes?

Which is already a mini version of cake?

Honestly, where does it end with you people?????

- Kevin Malone

104 The Office Quotes - Mini cupcakes? As in the mini version of regular cupcakes? Which is already a mini version of c
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    Cupcakes   |    Complaining   |    Third World Problems   |    Oh God Why   |    Funny Food   |   



14. I don't care what they say about me. I just want to eat.

Which I realize is a lot to ask for. At a dinner party.

- Pam Beesly

104 The Office Quotes - I don't care what they say about me. I just want to eat. Which I realize is a lot to ask for. At a
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    I Dont Care   |    The Office   |    Funny Food   |   



15. That's what she said.

- Michael Scott

104 The Office Quotes - That's what she said.
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    Poor Joke   |   



16. Sorry I annoyed you with my friendship.

- Andy Bernard

104 The Office Quotes - Sorry I annoyed you with my friendship.
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Sarcastic   |    Fake Friendship   |    The Office   |    Ungrateful   |    Thankless   |   



17. I am one of the few people who looks hot eating a cupcake.

- Kelly Kapoor

104 The Office Quotes - I am one of the few people who looks hot eating a cupcake.
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    Hot   |    Cupcakes   |   



18. I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.

- Andy Bernard

104 The Office Quotes - I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.
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Tags: Life   |    TV Show Quotes   |    Find A Way   |    Way Of Life   |    The Office   |    Good Old Days   |   



19. What are your weaknesses?

"I don't have any, a--hole"

- Kelly Kapoor

104 The Office Quotes - What are your weaknesses?
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Weakness   |    The Office   |    Job   |    Interview   |   



20. You only live once?

False.

You live every day.
You only die once.

- Dwight Schrute

104 The Office Quotes - You only live once? False. You live every day. You only die once.
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Tags: Life   |    Quotes that make you think   |    TV Show Quotes   |    Death   |    Wrong   |    The Office   |    Live   |   



21. The doctor said, if I can't find a new way to relate more positively to my surroundings, I'm going to die.

I'm going to die.

- Stanley Hudson

104 The Office Quotes - The doctor said, if I can't find a new way to relate more positively to my surroundings, I'm going to
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Find A Way   |    Negativity   |    Death   |    Positive   |    The Office   |    Doctor Said   |   



22. It takes an advanced sense of humor.

I don't expect everybody to understand.

- Michael Scott

104 The Office Quotes - It takes an advanced sense of humor. I don't expect everybody to understand.
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Tags: Expectations   |    TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    Sense Of Humor   |    Poor Joke   |    Advanced   |   



23. I stopped caring a long time ago.

- Creed Bratton

104 The Office Quotes - I stopped caring a long time ago.
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    I Dont Care   |    The Office   |    Carefree   |    Stopped   |   



24. Whenever I'm about to do something, I think,

'Would an idiot do that?' and if they would,

I do not do that thing.

- Dwight Schrute

104 The Office Quotes - Whenever I'm about to do something, I think, 'Would an idiot do that?' and if they would, I d
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Idiot   |    Sarcastic   |    Thinking   |    Savage Comebacks   |    The Office   |    Do Something   |   



25. I live by one rule: No office romances, no way. Very messy, inappropriate…no.

But, I live by another rule:

Just do it…Nike.

- Michael Scott

104 The Office Quotes - I live by one rule: No office romances, no way. Very messy, inappropriate…no. But, I live by an
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    No Way   |    Messy   |    Inappropriate   |    Rules   |    Just Do It   |   



26. In the Schrute family, the youngest child raises the others.

I’ve been raising children since I was a baby.

- Dwight Schrute

104 The Office Quotes - In the Schrute family, the youngest child raises the others. I’ve been raising children since I
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Family   |    Children   |    The Office   |    Raising Children   |    Baby   |   



27. ’R’ is among the most menacing of sounds. That’s why they call it ‘murder’ and not ‘mukduk.

- Dwight Schrute


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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    R   |    Menace   |    Murder   |   



28. I’m not a millionaire.

I thought I would be by the time I was 30, but I wasn’t even close.

Then I thought maybe by 40, but by 40 I had less money than I did when I was 30.

- Michael Scott

104 The Office Quotes - I’m not a millionaire. I thought I would be by the time I was 30, but I wasn’t even close.
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Money   |    Sarcastic   |    The Office   |    Millionaire   |    Time   |    Turning 30   |    Turning 40   |    Less Money   |   



29. Jim is my enemy.

But it turns out that Jim is also his own worst enemy. And the enemy of my enemy is my friend.

So Jim, is actually my friend.

But, because he is his own worst enemy, the enemy of my friend is my enemy so actually Jim is my enemy.

- Dwight Schrute

104 The Office Quotes - Jim is my enemy. But it turns out that Jim is also his own worst enemy. And the enemy of my enemy
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Tags: Friendship   |    TV Show Quotes   |    Confused   |    Enemy   |    The Office   |    Frenemies   |    Mixed Feelings   |   



30. I feel God in this Chili’s tonight.

- Pam Beesly

104 The Office Quotes - I feel God in this Chili’s tonight.
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Tags: Fear   |    TV Show Quotes   |    Feelings   |    God   |    Public Speaking   |    The Office   |    Speech   |    Awards   |    Stage Fright   |    Chilis   |    Tonight   |   



31. As it turns out, you can’t just check someone into rehab against their will. They have to do it voluntarily.

They have to hit rock bottom.

So I think I know what I need to do at this point. I need to find ways to push Meredith to the bottom.

Um. I think I can do it.

- Michael Scott


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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    Rehab   |    Will   |    Hitting Rock Bottom   |   



32. I used to be obese. Once you’ve conquered obesity, everything else is easy. Life literally moves in slow motion.

I’m not saying I’m Superman, but let me just put it this way. If I were shot in the head, I’m pretty sure everything would be fine. I’d almost welcome it.

- Deangelo Vickers

104 The Office Quotes - I used to be obese. Once you’ve conquered obesity, everything else is easy. Life literally moves in
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Tags: Life   |    TV Show Quotes   |    Easy   |    Satire   |    The Office   |    Obesity   |    Conquer   |    Superman   |    Over Confidence   |   



33. Every so often, Jim dies of boredom.

- Pam Beesly

104 The Office Quotes - Every so often, Jim dies of boredom.
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    Boredom   |   



34. Well, today was a fantastic waste of time.

- Ryan Howard

104 The Office Quotes - Well, today was a fantastic waste of time.
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    Boredom   |    Waste of Time   |   



35. Guess what, I have flaws. What are they?

Oh, I don’t know. I sing in the shower.
Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I’ll hit somebody with my car. So sue me.

- Michael Scott

104 The Office Quotes - Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don’t know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    Flaws   |    Volunteering   |    Sue Me   |   



36. My, philosophy is, basically this. And this is something that I live by. And I always have. And I always will. Don’t, ever, for any reason, do anything, to anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what, no matter where, or who you are with, or, or where you are going, or, or where you’ve been. Ever. For any reason. Whatsoever.

- Michael Scott

104 The Office Quotes - My, philosophy is, basically this. And this is something that I live by. And I always have. And I alw
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Confused   |    Wrong   |    The Office   |    Philosophy   |    Speech   |   



37. If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice.

- Michael Scott

104 The Office Quotes - If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden and Toby, I would shoot To
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Tags: Burn   |    TV Show Quotes   |    Hate   |    The Office   |    Gun   |    Frenemies   |    Irritated   |   



38. Nobody should have to go to work thinking, ‘Oh this is the place that I might die today.’ That’s what a hospital is for.

An office is for not dying. An office is a place to live life to the fullest. To the max.

To…an office is a place where dreams come true.

- Michael Scott

104 The Office Quotes - Nobody should have to go to work thinking, ‘Oh this is the place that I might die today.’ That’
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Work Life   |    Work Motivation   |    Death   |    Dream   |    The Office   |    Hospital   |    Today   |    Live Life   |   



39. There are always a million reasons not to do something.

- Jan Levinson

104 The Office Quotes - There are always a million reasons not to do something.
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Tags: Inspirational Women   |    Motivational   |    TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    Reasons   |    Follow Your Dream   |   



40. Why are you the way that you are?

- Michael Scott

104 The Office Quotes - Why are you the way that you are?
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Tags: Burn   |    TV Show Quotes   |    Sarcastic   |    The Office   |    Oh God Why   |   



41. Bros before hos. Why? Because your bros are always there for you. They have got your back after your ho rips out your heart for no good reason. And you are nothing but great to your ho, and you told her that she was the only ho for you, and that she was better than all the other hos in the world. And then, suddenly, she’s not your ho no mo.

- Michael Scott

104 The Office Quotes - Bros before hos. Why? Because your bros are always there for you. They have got your back after your
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    Bro   |    Heart Break   |   



42. Oh my God it’s happening! Everybody stay calm. Stay f*cking calm!

- Michael Scott

104 The Office Quotes - Oh my God it’s happening! Everybody stay calm. Stay f*cking calm!
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    Keep Calm   |    Dont Keep Calm   |   



43. I feel like all my kids grew up, and then they married each other. It’s every parent’s dream.

- Michael Scott

104 The Office Quotes - I feel like all my kids grew up, and then they married each other. It’s every parent’s dream.
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Dream   |    The Office   |    Kids   |   



44. I do not like pregnant women in my workspace. They’re always complaining.

I have varicose veins, too.
I have swollen ankles.
I’m constantly hungry.
Do you think my nipples don’t get sore too?
Do you think I don’t need to know the fastest way to the hospital?

- Stanley Hudson

104 The Office Quotes - I do not like pregnant women in my workspace. They’re always complaining. I have varicose veins,
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    Complaining   |    Pregnant   |   



45. I have been trying to get on jury duty every year since I was 18 years old. To get to go sit it in an air conditioned room, downtown, judging people, while my lunch is paid for … that is the life.

- Stanley Hudson

104 The Office Quotes - I have been trying to get on jury duty every year since I was 18 years old. To get to go sit it in an
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Tags: Judgemental   |    TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    Jury Duty   |    Thats Called Life   |   



46. Newsflash: You are not special.

- Stanley Hudson

104 The Office Quotes - Newsflash: You are not special.
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    You Are Not Special   |   



47. DID I STUTTER?

- Stanley Hudson

104 The Office Quotes - DID I STUTTER?
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    Stuttering   |    Passive Aggressive   |   



48. It’s like I used to tell my wife. I do not apologize unless I think I’m wrong.

And if you don’t like it you can leave.

And I say the same thing to my current wife and I’ll say it to my next one, too.

- Stanley Hudson


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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Wrong   |    Wife   |    The Office   |    Leave   |   



49. Four years ago, I was just a guy who had a crush on a girl who had a boyfriend.

And I had to do the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, which was just to wait.

For a really long time that’s all I had. I just had little moments with a girl who saw me as a friend.

And a lot of people told me I was crazy to wait this long for a date with a girl who I worked with, but I think even then I knew that I was waiting for my wife.

- Jim Halpert

104 The Office Quotes - Four years ago, I was just a guy who had a crush on a girl who had a boyfriend. And I had to do th
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Tags: Love Quotes for Her   |    Love   |    TV Show Quotes   |    Marriage   |    Crush   |    Hard To Impress   |    True Love   |    Unconditional Love   |    Wife   |    Real Love   |    The Office   |    Waiting   |    Little Moments   |   



50. I have a lot of questions. Number one, how dare you?

- Kelly Kapoor

104 The Office Quotes - I have a lot of questions. Number one, how dare you?
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Question   |    The Office   |    How Dare You   |   



51. Whether you’re scared of dying, or dying alone, or dying drunk in a ditch, don’t be.

It’s going to be OK.

- Michael Scott

104 The Office Quotes - Whether you’re scared of dying, or dying alone, or dying drunk in a ditch, don’t be. It’s go
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Death   |    The Office   |    Scared   |    Its OK   |   



52. I work hard all day. I like knowing that there’s going to be a break. Most days I just sit and wait for the break.

- Kevin Malone

104 The Office Quotes - I work hard all day. I like knowing that there’s going to be a break. Most days I just sit and wait
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Work Hard   |    Lazy   |    The Office   |    Chill   |    Demotivational Work   |    Break   |   



53. Ultimatums are key.

Basically nobody does anything for me unless I threaten to kill myself.

- Kelly Kapoor

104 The Office Quotes - Ultimatums are key. Basically nobody does anything for me unless I threaten to kill myself.
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    Do Something   |    Ultimatum   |    Nobody   |    Favor   |    Threatening   |    Kill   |    Emotional Blackmail   |   



54. I normally don’t enjoy making people laugh.

- Angela Martin


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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Laughing   |    The Office   |    Enjoy   |   



55. Me think, why waste time say lot word, when few word do trick.

- Kevin Malone

104 The Office Quotes - Me think, why waste time say lot word, when few word do trick.
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    Waste of Time   |    Trick   |   



56. No, I’m not going to tell them about the downsizing. If a patient has cancer, you don’t tell them.

- Michael Scott

104 The Office Quotes - No, I’m not going to tell them about the downsizing. If a patient has cancer, you don’t tell them
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Annoyingly Funny   |    The Office   |    Poor Joke   |    Downsizing   |    Patient   |    Stupid   |   



57. Look, it doesn’t take a genius to know that every organization thrives when it has two leaders. Go ahead, name a country that doesn’t have two presidents. A boat that sets sail without two captains. Where would Catholicism be without the popes?

- Oscar Martinez

104 The Office Quotes - Look, it doesn’t take a genius to know that every organization thrives when it has two leaders. Go
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Sarcastic   |    The Office   |    Genius   |   



58. I run a small fake-ID company from my car with a laminating machine that I swiped from the Sheriff’s station.

- Creed Bratton

104 The Office Quotes - I run a small fake-ID company from my car with a laminating machine that I swiped from the Sheriff’
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |   



59. If I don’t have some cake soon, I might die.

- Stanley Hudson

104 The Office Quotes - If I don’t have some cake soon, I might die.
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Foodie   |    Death   |    The Office   |    Cupcakes   |    Funny Food   |   



60. Powerpoints are the peacocks of the business world; all show, no meat.

- Dwight Schrute

104 The Office Quotes - Powerpoints are the peacocks of the business world; all show, no meat.
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Work Life   |    Boring   |    Showing Off   |    The Office   |    Peacock   |    Powerpoint   |    Meat   |   



61. My roommate wants to meet everybody. Because I’m pretty sure he thinks I’m making Dwight up. He is very real.

- Jim Halpert

104 The Office Quotes - My roommate wants to meet everybody. Because I’m pretty sure he thinks I’m making Dwight up. He i
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    Meet   |    Very Real   |   



62. Look, I know the reason that you guys became accountants is ’cause you’re not good at interacting with people. But guess what? From now on, you guys are no longer losers. So gives yourselves a round of applause.

- Kelly Kapoor

104 The Office Quotes - Look, I know the reason that you guys became accountants is ’cause you’re not good at interacting
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Honest   |    The Office   |    Accountant   |    Socially Awkward   |    Introvert   |    Loser   |   



63. I don’t want to be married in a tent like a hobo

- Angela Martin

104 The Office Quotes - I don’t want to be married in a tent like a hobo
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Marriage   |    The Office   |    Hobo   |   



64. It is not a good time for me to lose my job since I have some pretty big long-term plans in my personal life with Pam that I’d like her parents to be psyched about.

So, I am about to do something very bold in this job that I’ve never done before: try.

- Jim Halpert


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Tags: Marriage   |    Planning   |    Trying   |    Job   |    Losing Job   |    The Office   |    TV Show Quotes   |   



65. Who says exactly what they’re thinking? What kind of a game is that?

104 The Office Quotes - Who says exactly what they’re thinking? What kind of a game is that?
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Mind Games   |    Thinking   |    The Office   |    Manipulation   |    Shocking   |   



66. I’ve been involved in a number of cults, both a leader and a follower. You have more fun as a follower, but you make more money as a leader.

- Creed Bratton

104 The Office Quotes - I’ve been involved in a number of cults, both a leader and a follower. You have more fun as a follo
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Leadership   |    Money   |    Follower   |    The Office   |    Cult   |    Fun   |   



67. Yes, I have a dream, and it’s not some MLK dream for equality. I want to own a decommissioned lighthouse. And I want to live at the top. And nobody knows I live there. And there’s a button that I can press, and launch that lighthouse into space.

- Stanley Hudson

104 The Office Quotes - Yes, I have a dream, and it’s not some MLK dream for equality. I want to own a decommissioned light
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Dream   |    The Office   |    Nobody   |    Lighthouse   |    Wishlist   |    Introvert   |    Carefree   |   



68. I once reported Oscar to the INS. Turns out he’s clean, but I’m glad I did it.

- Angela Martin

104 The Office Quotes - I once reported Oscar to the INS. Turns out he’s clean, but I’m glad I did it.
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Hate   |    Enemy   |    The Office   |    Not Sorry   |   



69. We have a gym at home. It’s called the bedroom.

- Phyllis Lapin Vance

104 The Office Quotes - We have a gym at home. It’s called the bedroom.
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Lazy   |    The Office   |    Gym   |    Bedroom   |    Workout   |   



70. I don’t hate it.

I just don’t like it at all and it’s terrible.

- Michael Scott

104 The Office Quotes - I don’t hate it. I just don’t like it at all and it’s terrible.
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Hate   |    Confused   |    The Office   |    Being Nice   |   



71. The people here are amazing debaters. I guess you can say they are master-baters.

- Kevin Malone

104 The Office Quotes - The people here are amazing debaters. I guess you can say they are master-baters.
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Annoyingly Funny   |    The Office   |    Debate   |   



72. When you’re a kid, you assume your parents are soulmates. My kids are going to be right about that.

- Pam Beesly

104 The Office Quotes - When you’re a kid, you assume your parents are soulmates. My kids are going to be right about that.
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Marriage   |    Being Right   |    The Office   |    Feel Good   |    Kids   |    Parents   |    Soulmate   |   



73. I miss the days when there was only one party I didn’t want to go to.

- Ryan Howard

104 The Office Quotes - I miss the days when there was only one party I didn’t want to go to.
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    I Dont Care   |    The Office   |    Party   |   



74. I find the mystery genre disgusting. I hate being titillated.

- Angela Martin

104 The Office Quotes - I find the mystery genre disgusting. I hate being titillated.
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    Mystery   |    Genre   |    Disgusting   |   



75. As a person who buys a lot of erotic cakes, it’s nice to be represented on one.

- Phyllis Lapin Vance

104 The Office Quotes - As a person who buys a lot of erotic cakes, it’s nice to be represented on one.
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    Cupcakes   |    Weird   |    Say What   |   



76. I hate the idea that someone out there hates me. I even hate thinking that Al-Qaeda hates me. I think if they got to know me, they wouldn’t hate me.

- Pam Beesly

104 The Office Quotes - I hate the idea that someone out there hates me. I even hate thinking that Al-Qaeda hates me. I think
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Pleasing   |    Hate   |    Cute   |    The Office   |    Convincing   |   



77. Tell him to call me ASAP as possible.

- Michael Scott

104 The Office Quotes - Tell him to call me ASAP as possible.
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Dumbness   |    The Office   |    ASAP   |    Hurry   |    Call Me   |   



78. Stanley just drank OJ out of my mug and didn’t seem to realize that it wasn’t his hot coffee. So the question has to be asked, is there no limit to what he won’t notice?

- Jim Halpert

104 The Office Quotes - Stanley just drank OJ out of my mug and didn’t seem to realize that it wasn’t his hot coffee. So
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    I Dont Care   |    Lost   |    The Office   |    Carefree   |    OJ   |   



79. I love inside jokes. I’d love to be a part of one someday.

- Michael Scott

104 The Office Quotes - I love inside jokes. I’d love to be a part of one someday.
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    Inside Jokes   |    Excluded   |   



80. Last year, Creed asked me how to set up a blog. Wanting to protect the world from being exposed to Creed’s brain, I opened up a Word document on his computer and put an address at the top.

I’ve read some of it.

Even for the Internet, it’s… pretty shocking.

- Ryan Howard

104 The Office Quotes - Last year, Creed asked me how to set up a blog. Wanting to protect the world from being exposed to Cr
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Sarcastic   |    Blogging   |    Fool   |    The Office   |    Internet   |    Shocking   |   



81. Your body is a temple.

You have to respect it.

You can’t just whore it out.

- Angela Martin


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Tags: Quotes that make you think   |    TV Show Quotes   |    Body   |    The Office   |    Respect Yourself   |   



82. I would say I kind of have an unfair advantage, because I watch reality dating shows like a hawk, and I learn.

I absorb information from the strategies of the winners and the losers.

Actually, I probably learn more from the losers.

- Michael Scott


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Tags: Failure   |    TV Show Quotes   |    Strategy   |    Learning   |    The Office   |    Unfair Advantage   |    Loser   |    Winner   |   



83. Close your mouth, sweetie.

You look like a trout.

- Phyllis Lapin Vance


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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Savage Comebacks   |    The Office   |    Shut Up   |   



84. I wake up every morning in a bed that’s too small, drive my daughter to a school that’s too expensive, and then I go to work to a job for which I get paid too little.

But on pretzel day?

Well, I like pretzel day.

- Stanley Hudson

104 The Office Quotes - I wake up every morning in a bed that’s too small, drive my daughter to a school that’s too expen
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Work Life   |    Optimism   |    Positive   |    The Office   |    Job   |    Less Money   |    Demotivational Work   |    Bed   |    Expensive   |    Pretzel   |   



85. Any man who says he totally understands women is a fool.

Because they are un-understandable.

- Michael Scott


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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Confused   |    Men and Women   |    Fool   |    The Office   |    Understanding Women   |   



86. Let's have an auction

- Michael Scott

104 The Office Quotes - Let's have an auction
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Dumbness   |    Racist   |    The Office   |    Auction   |    Insensitive   |   



87. Blink once if you want me to pull the plug.

- Dwight Schrute

104 The Office Quotes - Blink once if you want me to pull the plug.
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88. I think it's great that the company's making a commercial, because not very many people have heard of us.

I mean, when I tell people I work at Dunder Mifflin, they think that we sell mufflers or muffins or mittens or...and frankly, all of those sound better than paper, so I let it slide.

- Jim Halpert


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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Advertising   |    The Office   |    Commercials   |   



89. Michael always says, 'K-I-S-S, keep it simple, stupid.' Great advice, hurts my feelings every time.

- Dwight Schrute


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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Simplicity   |    Work Life   |    Simple   |    The Office   |    Stupid   |    Work Tip   |    Keep It Simple   |   



90. Two weeks ago, I was in the worst relationship of my life. She treated me poorly, we didn't connect, I was miserable.

Now, I am in the best relationship of my life, with the same woman. Love is a mystery.

- Michael Scott


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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Things Getting Worse   |    Dumbness   |    Relationship   |    The Office   |    Oh God Why   |    Miserable   |    Shocked   |    Treating Badly   |    Mystery   |    Unaware   |   



91. You cheated on me?

When I specifically asked you not to?

- Michael Scott

104 The Office Quotes - You cheated on me? When I specifically asked you not to?
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92. When I was five, I imagined that there was such a thing as a unicorn.

And this was before I had even heard of one, or seen one.

I just drew a picture, of a horse, that could fly over rainbows, and a had a huge spike in its head. I was five! Five-years-old. Couldn't even talk yet.

- Michael Scott


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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Imagination   |    Mental Picture   |    Dumbness   |    The Office   |    Unicorn   |    Unaware   |   



93. I had a great summer. I got west nile virus, lost a ton of weight. Then I went back to the lake. And I stepped on a piece of glass in the parking lot, which hurt. That got infected. Even though I peed on it...

- Michael Scott


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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Sarcastic   |    Things Getting Worse   |    Dumbness   |    The Office   |    Summer   |    Unaware   |   



94. Ok, too many different words from coming at me from too many different sentences.

- Michael Scott


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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Public Speaking   |    Confused   |    The Office   |    Speech   |    Word   |   



95. Growing up I performed my own circumcision.

- Dwight Schrute

104 The Office Quotes - Growing up I performed my own circumcision.
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Ability   |    The Office   |    Circumcision   |   



96. Kelly: Jim!!! Oh my god, I have so much to tell you. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes had a baby, and they named it Sure! And Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie also had a baby, and they named it Shiloh! And both babies are amazing!

Jim: Wow! So, uh, what's new with you?


Kelly: I just told you.

- Kelly Kapoor


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97. Kelly: If I was you, I would just like, freak out and get really drunk, and then tell someone I was pregnant.

Pam: Okay, that's a lot of good ideas. Thanks.

- Pam Beesly

104 The Office Quotes - Kelly: If I was you, I would just like, freak out and get really drunk, and then tell someone I was p
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98. I'm in love with Kelly Kapoor. And I don't know how I'm gonna feel tomorrow or the next day or the day after that, but I do know that right here, right now, all I can think about is spending the rest of my life with her.

Again, that could change.

- Ryan Howard

104 The Office Quotes - I'm in love with Kelly Kapoor. And I don't know how I'm gonna feel tomorrow or the next day or the da
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99. Maybe we weren't right together, but, it's weird. I'd rather she be alone than with somebody. Is that love?

- Ryan Howard


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100. There is no such things as an appropriate joke.

That's why it is a Joke!

- Michael Scott


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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    Inappropriate   |    Joke   |   



101. I am in an office relationship.

It's special.

Mmm.. she's nice .. she's shy.

She's actually here if you wanna meet her.

- Jim Halpert

104 The Office Quotes - I am in an office relationship. It's special. Mmm.. she's nice .. she's shy. She's actually
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102. When Pam's Mom asks her...

"So which one is Jim?"

- Jim Halpert

104 The Office Quotes - When Pam's Mom asks her...
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