Quotes that will make you Cry 😭

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You have been tricked! These Quotes will make you laugh because there is no reason in the world where you have to force yourself to Cry. Stop looking for reasons to Cry and enjoy these fun Quotes that will make you laugh/smile.

Quotes That Will Make You Cry Quotes

1. This life’s hard, but it’s harder if you’re stupid.

- George V. Higgins


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2. Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.

- Albert Einstein


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3. I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.

- Douglas Adams


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4. Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.

- Garrison Keillor


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5. Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

- Robert A. Heinlein


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6. I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.

- W.C. Fields


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7. I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer

- Douglas Adams


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8. When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, "Why god? Why me?" and the thundering voice of God answered, There's just something about you that pisses me off.

- Stephen King


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9. I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

- Mark Twain


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10. It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them!

- Friedrich Nietzsche


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11. β€œMom says it's because she has PMS. Do you even know what that means? "I'm not a little kid anymore. It means pissed-at- men syndrome”

- Nicholas Sparks


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12. If cats looked like frogs we'd realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Style. That's what people remember.

- Terry Pratchett


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13. Right now I’m having amnesia and dΓ©jΓ  vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

- Steven Wright


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14. Few People are alive just because killing is illegal.


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15. I am patient with stupidity, but not with those who are proud of it.


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16. There are only two things in life that come without effort - failure and dandruff.


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17. Just fight all your natural instincts and you will be great.

- Friends TV Show


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18. Falling in love is a secret ambition, finding true love is the greatest tension, So follow the oldest tradition, And marry your parent's decision.


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19. Food is the only beautiful thing that nourishes.


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20. Birthdays are a scam. They were invented by Hallmarks to sell cards.

- Ron Swanson


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21. I love you like a fat kid loves cake!

- Scott Adams


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22. Every now and then I like to do as I'm told, just to confuse people.

- Tamora Pierce


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23. There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.

- Oscar Wilde


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24. I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.

- Oscar Wilde


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25. Black holes are where God divided by zero.

- Albert Einstein


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26. Why do people say "grow some balls"? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.

- Sheng Wang


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27. I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.

- Bill Watterson


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28. Of course motivation is not permanent. But then, neither is bathing; but it is something you should do on a regular basis.

- Zig Ziglar


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29. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the heck she is.

- Ellen DeGeneres


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30. I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

- Groucho Marx


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31. Humor is reason gone mad.

- Groucho Marx


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32. People, generally, suck.

- Christopher Moore


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33. I know all those words, but that sentence makes no sense to me.

- Matt Groening


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34. People have an annoying habit of remembering things they shouldn't.

- Christopher Paolini


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35. What religion I follow? It is called none-of-your-business.

- Ron Swanson


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36. I have lived with several Zen masters - all of them cats.

- Eckhart Tolle


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37. There is no sadness that cannot be cured by breakfast food.

- Ron Swanson


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38. Dear Frozen Yoghurt,

You are the celery of desserts.

Be Ice Cream, or be nothing.

- Ron Swanson


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39. Veganism is a sad result of a morally corrupt mind.

Reconsider your life.

- Ron Swanson


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40. Love is blind, it is the marriage that's the eye-opener.


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41. Love is like peeing your pants everyone can see it but only you can feel it.

Thanks for being the pee in my pants.


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42. I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.


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43. Don’t be ashamed of who you are.

That’s your parent’s job.


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44. I can only please one person a day.

Today isn’t your day.

Tomorrow doesn’t look good either.


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45. Confidence level: selfie with no filter.


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46. I’m on a seafood diet, I see food and I eat it.


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47. β€œAF” is my favorite unit of measurement.


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48. Your hair is 90% of your selfie.


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49. When I drink alcohol… Everyone says I’m alcoholic. But… When I drink Fanta… No one says I’m fantastic.


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50. My life feels like a test, for which I skipped studying.


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51. How I feel when there is no coffee?

Depresso.


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52. Be proud of your extra pounds.

Studies state that fat people are harder to kidnap


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53. I’m not mad you told all my friends I’m a psycho. They’re my friends, they already know.


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54. This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible.

This was terrible with raisins in it

- Dorothy Parker


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55. The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.

- Dorothy Parker


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56. Every year, back comes Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants.

- Dorothy Parker


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57. I'm trying to figure out if I love art enough to be poor.

- Marina Keegan


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58. If you're falling off a cliff, you may as well try to fly.

You've got nothing to lose.

- John Sheridan


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59. How can a living man be a person who has nothing to lose?

This is very absurd!

Even a dead man has something to lose: His coffin!

- Mehmet Murat Ildan


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60. I won't be impressed with technology until I can download Chocolate.


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61. With men and women, does you think that men should marry only one woman? Does you believe in mahogany?

- Ali G


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62. I don't know if you know this, but dolphins ain't fish. They is like us, they is mammaries.

- Ali G


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63. What is the different types of hasch out there? We all know that it's called the bionic, the bomb, the puff, the blow, the black, the herb, the sensie, the cronic, the sweet Mary Jane, the shit, Ganja, split, reefa, the bad, the buddha, the home grown, the ill, the maui-maui, the method, pot, lethal turbo, tie, shake, skunk, stress, whacky, weed, glaze, the boot, dimebag, Scooby Doo, bob, bogey, back yard boogie. But what is the other terms for it

- Ali G


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