1. I feel like all my kids grew up, and then they married each other. It’s every parent’s dream.
2. When you’re a kid, you assume your parents are soulmates. My kids are going to be right about that.
3. It's not politically correct to say that you love one child more than you love your others.
I love all of my kids, period, and they're all your favorites in different ways.
But ask any parent who's been through some kind of crisis surrounding a child--a health scare, an academic snarl, an emotional problem--and we will tell you the truth.
When something upends the equilibrium--when one child needs you more than the others--that imbalance becomes a black hole.
You may never admit it out loud, but the one you love the most is the one who needs you more desperately than his siblings.
What we really hope is that each child gets a turn. That we have deep enough reserves to be there for each of them, at different times.
All this goes to hell when two of your children are pitted against each other, and both of them want you on their side.
4. You see kids where each of them believe they are their parents favorites. And that means that the parents have done a pretty good job.
5. Now that you've been together a few years - you can relapse into only talking about the kids or your To-do list. And that is awful for the relationship.
6. Your legs are tired and you still have to stay on your feet another hour at work. You love a child who's finding her independence through emotional distance from you. A long-term relationship could be losing its spark. It's finals week in college. You're trying to start a business and it's struggling. You've got a chronic health problem or a disability. Sometimes people don't appreciate your work. You're being discriminated against or otherwise treated unjustly. The body ages, sags, and grows weary.
Sometimes things are difficult.