1. High grades don’t measure intelligence.
2. My friend, remember that without stupidity there wouldn't be intelligence, and without ugliness there wouldn't be beauty, so the world needs you after all.
3. Always try to grow in your garden some plant or plants out of the ordinary, something your neighbors never attempted. For you can receive no greater flattery than to have a gardener of equal intelligence stand before your plant and ask, 'What is that?'
4. I won’t insult your intelligence by suggesting that you really believe what you just said.
5. Of course I talk like an idiot. How else could you understand me?