1. Being cool has nothing to do with age; it has to do with how solid your identity is.
2. Multiple personality [Dissociative Identity Disorder] should not be confused with alternations of mood from happy to sad, characteristic of the cyclic temperament. These are merely emotional swings; personality splits are far more comprehensive.
3. Flattery feeds directly into our ego and our self-identity. It makes us feel good about ourselves, so naturally, we are not immune to its charms. In fact, flattery affects behavior outside of our awareness. We have a tendency to respond more positively to situations, people, and products that make us feel good about ourselves.
4. The belief systems of the person with a victim identity fall along these lines:
1. Life is really, really hard.
2. Don't get up, you'll just get kicked back down again.
3. Beware, always beware of trickery; it's around every corner.
4. You can't trust anyone.
5. I can't.
7. You just don't understand how hard it is for me.
8. Everyone is always picking on me.
9. "They" are always bigger, badder and smarter than me.
5. The gain for the victim is in the fact that he can get people to stay and take care of him — for who could ever really leave the poor victim without feeling terribly guilty. In this way, victims often bully others into all kinds of care-giving, running the gamut from providing financially for poor victim, to literally making all of his choices for him. The victim typically knows exactly what buttons to push in others to get them to begin or continue to take care of him. Indeed, quite often the bully identity lurches backward into his shadowed victim identity, as a means of justifying his abuse of others.
6. People with Victim Identity attract bullies as their partners. Bully looks for those who he can take advantage of, and the victim believes that life is meant to be harder. A victim does not want to take responsibility of their own life from fear that thing might get a whole lot harder.
7. Reasons for Clinging onto anxiety
1. Fear makes us feel safe.
2. The behavior becomes habitual.
3. You identified yourself with these behaviors (it is who I am).