1. I´m not mean, I´m just brutally honest.
It´s not my fault that truth hurts.
Here’s a band-aid.
2. David Carlton : [to Ali] Have you ever considered becoming a member of parliament?
Ali G : What me wanna do that for? It's full of pricks.
David Carlton : That's a little harsh. I'm an MP, am I a prick?
Ali G : Yes.
- Ali G
3. When that bastard calls back, you tell him he’s won this round. I’ll marry him. But I don’t take well to being blackmailed, and tell him I intend to spend the rest of my life making him miserable, got that?
4. I'm in love with Kelly Kapoor. And I don't know how I'm gonna feel tomorrow or the next day or the day after that, but I do know that right here, right now, all I can think about is spending the rest of my life with her.
Again, that could change.
5. Look, I know the reason that you guys became accountants is ’cause you’re not good at interacting with people. But guess what? From now on, you guys are no longer losers. So gives yourselves a round of applause.
6. I really believe that it is honesty about our imperfect selves that makes everyone do better and be better.