Funny Wife Quotes
1. Tell her she is beautiful, not HOT. She is your wife, not temperature.
2. The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.
3. When your wife says "GO AHEAD" it is a dare, not a permission. Don't do it!
4. Don't try to understand women.
Women understand women, that is why they hate each other.
5. If at first you don't succeed, try doing it the way your wife told you.
6. Astrologer: Do you want to know your husband's future?
Wife: Rubbish. I will decide his future. You tell me his past.
7. My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
8. My wife says I only have 2 faults. I don't listen and something else...
9. My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
10. My wife told me the other day that I don't take her to expensive places any more, so I took her to the gas station.
11. Wife: “I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?”
Husband: “You have perfect eyesight.”
Tags: Funny Wife |
12. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes.
She hugged me.
13. If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.
14. My wife says she's leaving me because of my addiction to antidepressants. So I thought about it and realized; that’s great, then I won’t need them anymore.
15. Me and my wife lives happily for 20 years. Then we met.
16. Never laugh at your wife's choices. You are one of them.
17. Wife: I have changed my mind.
Husband: Does the new one work?
18. A man should never plant a garden larger than his wife can take care of.