18 Funny Wife Quotes with Images ๐Ÿ“ธ๐Ÿ–ผ๏ธ

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Funny Wife Quotes

1. My wife told me the other day that I don't take her to expensive places any more, so I took her to the gas station.


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Tags: Funny Wife   |    Expensive   |    Funny   |   



2. Me and my wife lives happily for 20 years. Then we met.


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Tags: Funny Wife   |    Funny   |    Twisted   |   

3. My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.

- Socrates


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Tags: Funny Wife   |    Funny Marriage   |   

4. If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.


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Tags: Funny Wife   |    Funny Marriage   |   



5. My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

- Henny Youngman


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Tags: Funny Wife   |    Kill   |    Cooking   |    Funny   |   

6. Don't try to understand women.
Women understand women, that is why they hate each other.


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Tags: Understanding Women   |    Funny   |    Funny Wife   |   



7. My wife says she's leaving me because of my addiction to antidepressants. So I thought about it and realized; thatโ€™s great, then I wonโ€™t need them anymore.


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Tags: Funny Wife   |    Addiction   |    Funny Depression   |    Realization   |   



8. The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isnโ€™t talking to me.


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Tags: Funny Wife   |    Funny   |    Funny Love   |   

9. Wife: โ€œI look fat. Can you give me a compliment?โ€
Husband: โ€œYou have perfect eyesight.โ€


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Tags: Funny Wife   |   

10. Never laugh at your wife's choices. You are one of them.


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Tags: Funny Wife   |    Funny Marriage   |    Choices   |    Judgemental   |   



11. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes.
She hugged me.


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Tags: Funny Wife   |    Hug   |    Sassy   |    Wife   |   

12. Wife: I have changed my mind.
Husband: Does the new one work?


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Tags: Funny Wife   |    Savage Comebacks   |    Sarcastic   |    Conversation   |    Question   |    Sassy   |    Burn   |   

13. Astrologer: Do you want to know your husband's future?
Wife: Rubbish. I will decide his future. You tell me his past.


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Tags: Funny Wife   |    Future   |    Past   |    Astrology   |   



14. Tell her she is beautiful, not HOT. She is your wife, not temperature.


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Tags: Funny Wife   |    Hot   |    Beautiful   |   

15. When your wife says "GO AHEAD" it is a dare, not a permission. Don't do it!


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Tags: Funny Wife   |    How Dare You   |    Permissible   |   

16. If at first you don't succeed, try doing it the way your wife told you.


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Tags: Funny Wife   |    Marriage   |    Success   |    Listening a Person   |   



17. My wife says I only have 2 faults. I don't listen and something else...


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Tags: Funny Wife   |    Listening a Person   |   

18. A man should never plant a garden larger than his wife can take care of.

- T H Everette


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Tags: Funny Gardening   |    Funny Wife   |