New Year Wishes (Funny + Sarcastic only)

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These humorous and Sarcastic New Year quotes and captions will make your Instagram a star this year. Here are some funny New Year Greetings, wishes and Quotes to share with your friends and family.

Funny New Year Quotes

1. "Thank u, next."

— Me to 2020


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2. My New Year's resolution is 1080 pixels.


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Tags: Funny New Year   |    Lame   |    Poor Joke   |   

3. 365 new days. 365 new excuses.


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Tags: Funny New Year   |    Excuses   |   

4. I've got 2021 vision.


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Tags: Funny New Year   |    Vision   |   



5. Sorry in advance for writing "2020" on everything for the next six months.


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6. My New Year's resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year's resolutions.


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7. Page 1 of 365.


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Tags: Funny New Year   |    Fresh Start   |   



8. A fresh start. A new chapter in life waiting to be written. New questions to be asked, embraced, and loved. Answers to be discovered and then lived in this transformative year of delight and self-discovery.

- Sarah Ban Breathnach


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Tags: Fresh Start   |    Funny New Year   |   

9. Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits.


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10. Sorry for all the annoying behavior I did through the year. May you give me another chance to do that in the next New Year!


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11. This Year may your hair and teeth, your face-lift, abs and stocks not fall, may your blood pressure, your cholesterol, white blood count and mortgage interest not rise.

Happy New Year!


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Tags: Funny New Year   |    Hair   |    Blood   |    Wishes   |   

12. Making resolutions is a cleansing ritual of self-assessment and repentance that demands personal honesty and, ultimately, reinforces humility. Breaking them is part of the cycle.


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13. I’m gonna order a pizza five minutes before the new year and when they arrive I will say I ordered this a year ago, lol.


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14. May this New Year bring actual change in you – not the recurrence of old habits in a new package.


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15. I wish you can resist temptation to gorge on burgers during snack breaks. Happy New Year!


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16. I hope you will not spend the first day of the new year sleeping on the couch. May God give you the strength to fight with laziness. Happy new year!


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17. May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s Resolutions!


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18. People treat New Year’s like some sort of life-changing event. If your life sucked last year, it’s probably still going to suck tomorrow.


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19. My New Year’s resolution is to stop lying to myself about making lifestyle changes.


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20. I don’t have a new year’s resolution you don’t need that crap when you’re perfect.


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21. 2020, you're toast.


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Tags: Funny New Year   |    Quarantine   |    Corona Virus   |