24 Funny Marriage Quotes with Images ๐Ÿ“ธ๐Ÿ–ผ๏ธ

Home > Quotes > 24 Funny Marriage Quotes with Images ๐Ÿ“ธ๐Ÿ–ผ๏ธ

Funny Marriage Quotes

1. My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.

- Socrates


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Funny Wife   |    Funny Marriage   |   



2. If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Funny Wife   |    Funny Marriage   |   

3. Marriage is like a walk in the park... Jurassic Park.


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Funny Marriage   |   

4. Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.

- Will Ferrell


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Funny   |    Funny Marriage   |   



5. Marriage has no guarantees. If thatโ€™s what youโ€™re looking for, go live with a car battery.

- Emma Bombeck


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Funny Marriage   |    Marriage   |   

6. My wife, Mary, and I have been married for forty-seven years, and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.

- Jack Benny


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Funny Marriage   |    Marriage Story   |    Marriage   |    Murder   |    Divorce   |    Sarcastic   |   



7. Marriage is a bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Funny Marriage   |   



8. A good marriage is one where each partner secretly suspects they got the better deal.


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Funny Marriage   |   

9. Marriage is like vitamins: We supplement each otherโ€™s minimum daily requirements.


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Funny Marriage   |    Vitamin   |    Supportive   |    Needs   |   

10. The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps theyโ€™re too old to do it.

- Ann Bancroft


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Mind Games   |    Funny Marriage   |    Reverse Psychology   |    Psychology   |    Self Esteem   |    Insecurities   |    Validation   |    Approval   |   



11. The most important four words for a successful marriage: Iโ€™ll do the dishes.


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Funny Marriage   |   

12. Marriage is not just spiritual communion and passionate embraces; Marriage is also three-meals-a-day and remembering to carry the trash out.

- Joyce Brothers


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Marriage   |    Funny Marriage   |    Spirituality   |    Responsibility   |   

13. Before I got married I had six theories about raising children; now I have six children and no theories.

- John Wilmot


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Funny Marriage   |    Irony   |    Hypothetical   |    Planning   |   



14. I love being married. Itโ€™s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

- Rita Rudner


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Funny Marriage   |   

15. Marriage is an attempt to solve problems together which you didnโ€™t even have when you were on your own.

- Eddie Cantor


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Funny Marriage   |   

16. If you want to know how your girl will treat you after marriage, just listen to her talking to her little brother.

- Sam Levenson


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Funny Marriage   |    Psychology   |   



17. Many people spend more time in planning the wedding than they do in planning the marriage.

- Zig Ziglar


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Funny Marriage   |    Marriage   |    Planning   |    Perspective   |    Bigger Picture   |    Relationship Goals   |   

18. Marriage: sometimes soulmates, sometimes cellmates.

- Rory Elder


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Funny Marriage   |    Soulmate   |    Prison   |   

19. When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, thereโ€™s a reason.

- Molly McGee


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Funny Marriage   |   



20. A man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Funny Marriage   |    Beauty   |    Character   |    Decision   |    Bigger Picture   |    Perspective   |    Logic   |   

21. Never laugh at your wife's choices. You are one of them.


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Funny Wife   |    Funny Marriage   |    Choices   |    Judgemental   |   

22. We both said 'I Do' and we haven't agreed on a single thing since.


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Funny Marriage   |   



23. You know you are in a very happy marriage when the person still gives you the same feelings you get when you see your food coming at a restaurant.


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Love   |    Funny Love   |    Marriage   |    Funny Marriage   |   

24. What did the two coffee enthusiasts say when they got married? Weโ€™re meant to bean together!


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Coffee Puns   |    Funny Marriage   |    Love Puns   |    Bean Puns   |