1. Ultimatums are key.
Basically nobody does anything for me unless I threaten to kill myself.
2. The emotional blackmailer may go out of their way to do things for you, even if it goes against their self-interest…they’ll bring it up over-and-over again, frequently reminding you what they’ve sacrificed to make you happy.
3. Everything anyone says when they have an agenda is bullshit, and bullshit isn’t necessarily false, but it’s never really the truth either. So when someone’s bullshitting, you need to pay a little more attention.
4. The gain for the victim is in the fact that he can get people to stay and take care of him — for who could ever really leave the poor victim without feeling terribly guilty. In this way, victims often bully others into all kinds of care-giving, running the gamut from providing financially for poor victim, to literally making all of his choices for him. The victim typically knows exactly what buttons to push in others to get them to begin or continue to take care of him. Indeed, quite often the bully identity lurches backward into his shadowed victim identity, as a means of justifying his abuse of others.
5. Do things for people not because of who they are or what they do in return, but because of who you are.