1. Listen to the child—find out why he/she did or did not do something.
Explain your reasons; this will enhance the child's decision-making capacities.
The nine inborn feelings (interest, enjoyment, surprise, distress, anger, fear, shame, disgust, and dismal) should be labeled with words. This will facilitate tension regulation and aid the transition to more mature ways of handling emotion.
Positive reinforcement—rewards and praise—will enhance the child's self-esteem when appropriate standards are met. Positive reinforcement is more effective in obtaining long-term behavioral compliance than frightening and shaming punishments.
Set a good example for the child. The child wants to be like the parents. Children identify with their parents, and they will put feelings and actions into words when they see their parents doing this. Who the parents are, and how they behave, will have a profound impact on the development of their children. Your child will follow your lead.