126 Savage Comebacks to insults

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The biggest collection of the best and the most witty, smart, epic, savage and funny comebacks ever for insults and trolls.

“ My IQ is greater than your weight. ”

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“ Well you are worse than I thought. ”

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“ Your ass must be jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth ”

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“ Did you hear that? It’s the sound of no one caring… ”

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“ Woman: "If you were my husband, I'd poison your coffee."

Man: "If you were my wife, I'd drink it." ”

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“ You have a face not even a mother could love. ”

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“ If i am ever drunk, you will be damn good looking. ”

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“ I can get a plastic surgery to fix my ugliness, you on the other hand will be stupid for eternity. ”

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“ I am not being rude. You are just insignificant. ”

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“ You’re gay.
You wish i was. ”

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“ I am happier than you are. ”

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“ At least I smell good. ”

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“ Yeah, that's no problem, you're not my type anyway. ”

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“ I love what you’ve done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that? ”

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“ Stupidity isn't a crime, so you’re free to go. ”

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“ If I had a face like yours I’d sue my parents. ”

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“ You’re not stupid; you just have bad luck when thinking. ”

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“ I was hoping for a battle of wits but you appear to be unarmed. ”

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“ You bring everyone a lot of joy, when you leave the room. ”

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“ I’m jealous of all the people that haven’t met you! ”

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“ I don’t exactly hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water, I’d drink it. ”

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“ Shock me, say something intelligent. ”

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“ You have the perfect face for radio. ”

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“ Damn not you again. ”

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“ I fart to make you smell better. ”

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“ Yeah you’re pretty, pretty stupid. ”

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“ 100,000 sperm, you were the fastest? ”

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“ Ordinarily people live and learn. You just live. ”

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“ If I am ugly then you must be hideous ”

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“ Guys like you are why girls turn into lesbians. ”

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“ Your only purpose in life is as an organ donor. ”

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“ Have a nice day, somewhere else. ”

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“ You deserve better and so do I. ”

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Tags: Deserve   |   









“ "Wanna hear a joke?"
"No, thanks I am already looking at one!" ”

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“ After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."
She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice." ”

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“ Remember that time i asked you for your opinion?

Me neither. ”

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“ If you really want to know about mistakes, you should ask your parents. ”

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“ Please, keep talking. I always yawn when I am interested. ”

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“ Jesus loves you… but everyone else thinks you’re an asshole. ”

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“ You have the right to remain silent because whatever you say will probably be stupid anyway. ”

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“ I had a nightmare. I dreamed I was you. ”

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“ Nice shirt, what brand is it? Clearance? ”

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“ You have enough fat to make another human. ”

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“ I am not anti-social. I just don’t like you. ”

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“ You shouldn't talk about your mom like that. ”

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“ The 80s called. They want their haircut back.
The 1880s called, too. They want their joke back. ”

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“ Is that your face? Or did your neck just throw up?

Couldn’t help it. One look at you and I started to vomit. ”

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“ Your favorite color must be black?
Mine’s yellow. That’s why I love your teeth. ”

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“ I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and crap a better argument than yours.

Well it would be a nice change from all the crap that’s been coming out of your mouth! ”

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“ Is that perfume or marinade?
Actually, it’s jerk repellent, but it doesn’t seem to be working. ”

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“ Do they make those pants in men’s sizes?
Why, are you looking for something to get your wife? ”

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“ How’s the wife and my kids?
Your kids? That explains why they’re so ugly. ”

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“ You have your entire life to be a jerk. Why not take today off? ”

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“ Some day you’ll go far — and I really hope you stay there. ”

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“ Sometimes it’s better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you’re stupid than open it and remove all doubt. ”

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“ I’m not a proctologist, but I know an asshole when I see one. ”

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“ Everyone’s entitled to act stupid once in awhile, but you really abuse the privilege. ”

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“ Good story, but in what chapter do you shut the fuck up? ”

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“ Don’t hate me because I’m smart. Hate me because your girlfriend thinks so. ”

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“ Are you always such an idiot, or do you just show off when I’m around? ”

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“ You have a right to your opinion and I have a right to ignore it. ”

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“ Your inappropriateness knows no boundaries. ”

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“ I used to think I was overreacting. Now I realize that it was a normal reaction to an abnormal amount of bullshit. ”

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“ It's scary to think that people like you are graduating from college. ”

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“ That's why you shouldn't speak until you're spoken to. ”

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“ You better hope you marry rich. ”

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“ Aww, it's so cute when you try to talk about things you don't understand. ”

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“ The people who tolerate you on a daily basis are the real heroes. ”

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Tags: Tolerance   |   









“ If everywhere you go there’s a problem.. Guess what? ”

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“ No really, it’s adorable when you blame everyone but yourself. ”

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“ Some people create their own storms and then get upset when it rains. ”

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“ Before you judge me, make sure you’re perfect. ”

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Tags: Judgemental   |   









“ I think some people enjoy complaining almost as much as they enjoy doing nothing about it. ”

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“ You. Cut out that egocentric control bullshit now. ”

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“ I’m sorry that the control freak in you activates the psycho bitch in me. ”

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“ Oh yes, let’s ignore everything I just said and talk some more about you. ”

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“ I don’t know why you think you have a psychic ability to read me! ”

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“ It’s called originality, you should try it sometime. ”

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“ Thanks for trying so hard to be just like me. I wouldn’t want to be you, either. ”

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“ You were born an original don’t die a copy. ”

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“ Unless your name is Google stop acting like you know everything. ”

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“ You would argue with a fence post. ”

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“ Being right isn’t nearly as important as knowing when to shut up. ”

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“ Open your mind not your mouth. ”

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“ Since you know everything, then you know you’re an asshole. ”

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“ I didn’t realize you were an expert on my life and how I should live it!
Continue while I take notes. ”

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“ Get used to disappointment. ”

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“ That’s the most pretentious thing I’ve ever heard. ”

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“ Where’s your off button? ”

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“ Are you collecting chins?
Where is your neck? ”

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“ I thought you were attractive, but then you opened your mouth. ”

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“ You do realize makeup isn't going to fix your personality, right? ”

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Tags: Personality   |   









“ Your taste in music is comparable to a blind man's taste in fashion. ”

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Tags: Tasteful   |    Music   |    Burn   |   









“ Top five things to avoid in life:
Aids
Cancer
Your taste in music
Choking on horse pee
Drowning in a shallow pool of vomit ”

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Tags: Tasteful   |    Music   |    Burn   |   









“ I have been a witness to your journey from immaturity to maturity. ”

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“ Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice. ”

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- Bill Watterson

Tags: Psychology   |   









“ I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception. ”

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- Groucho Marx

Tags: Funny   |    Minion   |   









“ I like winning; I hope you do too! ”

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- Gary Vaynerchuk

Tags: Success   |   









“ People should get what they deserve. ”

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- Dexter

Tags: Tv Show Quotes   |    Deserve   |   









“ I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll make an exception. ”

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“ I hope Karma slaps you in the face before I do. ”

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Tags: Karma   |    Sassy   |   









“ If you listen to me closely, you can hear me not caring. ”

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Tags: I Dont Care   |   









“ I always laugh when people try to hurt my feelings.

As if I have any. ”

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Tags: Sassy   |    Feelings   |   









“ I´m not mean, I´m just brutally honest.

It´s not my fault that truth hurts.

Here’s a band-aid. ”

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Tags: Mean   |    Honest   |    Truth   |    Sassy   |    Blunt   |   









“ The difference between a pizza and your opinion is that I only asked for the pizza. ”

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Tags: Sassy   |    Your Opinion   |    Judgemental   |   









“ If karma doesn’t give you what you deserve, I certainly will. ”

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Tags: Karma   |    Sassy   |   









“ Revenge? Nah, I’m too lazy for that shit.

I’m gonna just sit here and watch from the front seat when karma hits you. ”

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Tags: Sassy   |    Karma   |    Revenge   |    Sassy   |   









“ Don’t get bitter, get better. ”

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Tags: Sassy   |   









“ I am not picky, I just know what I want. ”

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Tags: Self Love   |    Girl Power   |   









“ Be proud of your extra pounds.

Studies state that fat people are harder to kidnap ”

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Tags: Weight Loss   |    Funny   |    Diet   |    Foodie   |   









“ Look – I’m only responsible for the words that come out of my mouth.

I’m not responsible for you not understanding them. ”

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Tags: Sassy   |    Judgemental   |   









“ Silence is the best response when you’re dealing with an idiot. ”

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Tags: Silence   |    Idiot   |   









“ I’m not mad you told all my friends I’m a psycho. They’re my friends, they already know. ”

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Tags: Backbiting   |    Sassy   |    Funny   |   









“ Putting people down does not make you a powerful and a strong person.

It makes you a bully, a coward and eventually alone in life. ”

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- Tess Calomino

Tags: Loneliness   |    Girl Power   |    Power   |    Power   |    When Someone Puts You Down   |    When Someone Puts You Down   |    Coward   |    Bully   |   









“ You never look good trying to make someone else look bad. ”

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Tags: Backbiting   |    When Someone Puts You Down   |    Impression   |   









“ These are your good days.

The worst are yet to come. ”

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- Ertugrul

Tags: Revenge   |    Enemy   |   









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- Sarah Dessen

Tags: Business   |   









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Tags: Business   |   









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