121 Savage Comebacks to insults

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The biggest collection of the best and the most witty, smart, epic, savage and funny comebacks ever for insults and trolls.

1. My IQ is greater than your weight.

Savage Comebacks to insults - My IQ is greater than your weight.
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2. Well you are worse than I thought.

Savage Comebacks to insults - Well you are worse than I thought.
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3. Your ass must be jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth

Savage Comebacks to insults - Your ass must be jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth
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4. Did you hear that? It’s the sound of no one caring…

Savage Comebacks to insults - Did you hear that? It’s the sound of no one caring…
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5. Woman: "If you were my husband, I'd poison your coffee."

Man: "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

Savage Comebacks to insults - Woman:
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6. You have a face not even a mother could love.

Savage Comebacks to insults - You have a face not even a mother could love.
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7. If i am ever drunk, you will be damn good looking.

Savage Comebacks to insults - If i am ever drunk, you will be damn good looking.
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8. I can get a plastic surgery to fix my ugliness, you on the other hand will be stupid for eternity.

Savage Comebacks to insults - I can get a plastic surgery to fix my ugliness, you on the other hand will be stupid for eterni
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9. I am not being rude. You are just insignificant.

Savage Comebacks to insults - I am not being rude. You are just insignificant.
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10. You’re gay.
You wish i was.

Savage Comebacks to insults - You’re gay. You wish i was.
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11. I am happier than you are.

Savage Comebacks to insults - I am happier than you are.
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12. At least I smell good.

Savage Comebacks to insults - At least I smell good.
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13. Yeah, that's no problem, you're not my type anyway.

Savage Comebacks to insults - Yeah, that's no problem, you're not my type anyway.
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14. I love what you’ve done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that?

Savage Comebacks to insults - I love what you’ve done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like th
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15. Stupidity isn't a crime, so you’re free to go.

Savage Comebacks to insults - Stupidity isn't a crime, so you’re free to go.
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16. If I had a face like yours I’d sue my parents.

Savage Comebacks to insults - If I had a face like yours I’d sue my parents.
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17. You’re not stupid; you just have bad luck when thinking.

Savage Comebacks to insults - You’re not stupid; you just have bad luck when thinking.
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18. I was hoping for a battle of wits but you appear to be unarmed.

Savage Comebacks to insults - I was hoping for a battle of wits but you appear to be unarmed.
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19. You bring everyone a lot of joy, when you leave the room.

Savage Comebacks to insults - You bring everyone a lot of joy, when you leave the room.
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20. I’m jealous of all the people that haven’t met you!

Savage Comebacks to insults - I’m jealous of all the people that haven’t met you!
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21. I don’t exactly hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water, I’d drink it.

Savage Comebacks to insults - I don’t exactly hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water, I’d drink it.
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22. Shock me, say something intelligent.

Savage Comebacks to insults - Shock me, say something intelligent.
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23. You have the perfect face for radio.

Savage Comebacks to insults - You have the perfect face for radio.
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24. Damn not you again.

Savage Comebacks to insults - Damn not you again.
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25. I fart to make you smell better.

Savage Comebacks to insults - I fart to make you smell better.
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26. Yeah you’re pretty, pretty stupid.

Savage Comebacks to insults - Yeah you’re pretty, pretty stupid.
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27. 100,000 sperm, you were the fastest?

Savage Comebacks to insults - 100,000 sperm, you were the fastest?
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28. Ordinarily people live and learn. You just live.

Savage Comebacks to insults - Ordinarily people live and learn. You just live.
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29. If I am ugly then you must be hideous

Savage Comebacks to insults - If I am ugly then you must be hideous
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30. Guys like you are why girls turn into lesbians.

Savage Comebacks to insults - Guys like you are why girls turn into lesbians.
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31. Your only purpose in life is as an organ donor.

Savage Comebacks to insults - Your only purpose in life is as an organ donor.
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32. Have a nice day, somewhere else.

Savage Comebacks to insults - Have a nice day, somewhere else.
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33. You deserve better and so do I.

Savage Comebacks to insults - You deserve better and so do I.
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Tags: Deserve   |   



34. "Wanna hear a joke?"
"No, thanks I am already looking at one!"

Savage Comebacks to insults -
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35. After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."
She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."

Savage Comebacks to insults - After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife,
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36. Remember that time i asked you for your opinion?

Me neither.

Savage Comebacks to insults - Remember that time i asked you for your opinion? Me neither.
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37. If you really want to know about mistakes, you should ask your parents.

Savage Comebacks to insults - If you really want to know about mistakes, you should ask your parents.
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38. Please, keep talking. I always yawn when I am interested.

Savage Comebacks to insults - Please, keep talking. I always yawn when I am interested.
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39. Jesus loves you… but everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.

Savage Comebacks to insults - Jesus loves you… but everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.
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40. You have the right to remain silent because whatever you say will probably be stupid anyway.

Savage Comebacks to insults - You have the right to remain silent because whatever you say will probably be stupid anyway.
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41. I had a nightmare. I dreamed I was you.

Savage Comebacks to insults - I had a nightmare. I dreamed I was you.
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42. Nice shirt, what brand is it? Clearance?

Savage Comebacks to insults - Nice shirt, what brand is it? Clearance?
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43. You have enough fat to make another human.

Savage Comebacks to insults - You have enough fat to make another human.
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44. I am not anti-social. I just don’t like you.

Savage Comebacks to insults - I am not anti-social. I just don’t like you.
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45. You shouldn't talk about your mom like that.

Savage Comebacks to insults - You shouldn't talk about your mom like that.
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46. The 80s called. They want their haircut back.
The 1880s called, too. They want their joke back.

Savage Comebacks to insults - The 80s called. They want their haircut back. The 1880s called, too. They want their joke back
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47. Is that your face? Or did your neck just throw up?

Couldn’t help it. One look at you and I started to vomit.

Savage Comebacks to insults - Is that your face? Or did your neck just throw up? Couldn’t help it. One look at you and I
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48. Your favorite color must be black?
Mine’s yellow. That’s why I love your teeth.

Savage Comebacks to insults - Your favorite color must be black? Mine’s yellow. That’s why I love your teeth.
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49. I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and crap a better argument than yours.

Well it would be a nice change from all the crap that’s been coming out of your mouth!

Savage Comebacks to insults - I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and crap a better argument than yours. Well it would be
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50. Is that perfume or marinade?
Actually, it’s jerk repellent, but it doesn’t seem to be working.

Savage Comebacks to insults - Is that perfume or marinade? Actually, it’s jerk repellent, but it doesn’t seem to be work
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51. Do they make those pants in men’s sizes?
Why, are you looking for something to get your wife?

Savage Comebacks to insults - Do they make those pants in men’s sizes? Why, are you looking for something to get your wife
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52. How’s the wife and my kids?
Your kids? That explains why they’re so ugly.

Savage Comebacks to insults - How’s the wife and my kids? Your kids? That explains why they’re so ugly.
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53. You have your entire life to be a jerk. Why not take today off?

Savage Comebacks to insults - You have your entire life to be a jerk. Why not take today off?
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54. Some day you’ll go far — and I really hope you stay there.

Savage Comebacks to insults - Some day you’ll go far — and I really hope you stay there.
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55. Sometimes it’s better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you’re stupid than open it and remove all doubt.

Savage Comebacks to insults - Sometimes it’s better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you’re stupid th
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56. I’m not a proctologist, but I know an asshole when I see one.

Savage Comebacks to insults - I’m not a proctologist, but I know an asshole when I see one.
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57. Everyone’s entitled to act stupid once in awhile, but you really abuse the privilege.

Savage Comebacks to insults - Everyone’s entitled to act stupid once in awhile, but you really abuse the privilege.
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58. Good story, but in what chapter do you shut the fuck up?

Savage Comebacks to insults - Good story, but in what chapter do you shut the fuck up?
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59. Don’t hate me because I’m smart. Hate me because your girlfriend thinks so.

Savage Comebacks to insults - Don’t hate me because I’m smart. Hate me because your girlfriend thinks so.
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60. Are you always such an idiot, or do you just show off when I’m around?

Savage Comebacks to insults - Are you always such an idiot, or do you just show off when I’m around?
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61. You have a right to your opinion and I have a right to ignore it.

Savage Comebacks to insults - You have a right to your opinion and I have a right to ignore it.
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62. Your inappropriateness knows no boundaries.

Savage Comebacks to insults - Your inappropriateness knows no boundaries.
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63. I used to think I was overreacting. Now I realize that it was a normal reaction to an abnormal amount of bullshit.

Savage Comebacks to insults - I used to think I was overreacting. Now I realize that it was a normal reaction to an abnormal
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64. It's scary to think that people like you are graduating from college.

Savage Comebacks to insults - It's scary to think that people like you are graduating from college.
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65. That's why you shouldn't speak until you're spoken to.

Savage Comebacks to insults - That's why you shouldn't speak until you're spoken to.
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66. You better hope you marry rich.

Savage Comebacks to insults - You better hope you marry rich.
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67. Aww, it's so cute when you try to talk about things you don't understand.

Savage Comebacks to insults - Aww, it's so cute when you try to talk about things you don't understand.
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68. The people who tolerate you on a daily basis are the real heroes.

Savage Comebacks to insults - The people who tolerate you on a daily basis are the real heroes.
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Tags: Tolerance   |   



69. If everywhere you go there’s a problem.. Guess what?

Savage Comebacks to insults - If everywhere you go there’s a problem.. Guess what?
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70. No really, it’s adorable when you blame everyone but yourself.

Savage Comebacks to insults - No really, it’s adorable when you blame everyone but yourself.
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71. Some people create their own storms and then get upset when it rains.

Savage Comebacks to insults - Some people create their own storms and then get upset when it rains.
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72. Before you judge me, make sure you’re perfect.

Savage Comebacks to insults - Before you judge me, make sure you’re perfect.
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Tags: Judgemental   |   



73. I think some people enjoy complaining almost as much as they enjoy doing nothing about it.

Savage Comebacks to insults - I think some people enjoy complaining almost as much as they enjoy doing nothing about it.
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74. You. Cut out that egocentric control bullshit now.

Savage Comebacks to insults - You. Cut out that egocentric control bullshit now.
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75. I’m sorry that the control freak in you activates the psycho bitch in me.

Savage Comebacks to insults - I’m sorry that the control freak in you activates the psycho bitch in me.
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76. Oh yes, let’s ignore everything I just said and talk some more about you.

Savage Comebacks to insults - Oh yes, let’s ignore everything I just said and talk some more about you.
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77. I don’t know why you think you have a psychic ability to read me!

Savage Comebacks to insults - I don’t know why you think you have a psychic ability to read me!
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78. It’s called originality, you should try it sometime.

Savage Comebacks to insults - It’s called originality, you should try it sometime.
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79. Thanks for trying so hard to be just like me. I wouldn’t want to be you, either.

Savage Comebacks to insults - Thanks for trying so hard to be just like me. I wouldn’t want to be you, either.
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80. You were born an original don’t die a copy.

Savage Comebacks to insults - You were born an original don’t die a copy.
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81. Unless your name is Google stop acting like you know everything.

Savage Comebacks to insults - Unless your name is Google stop acting like you know everything.
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82. You would argue with a fence post.

Savage Comebacks to insults - You would argue with a fence post.
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83. Being right isn’t nearly as important as knowing when to shut up.

Savage Comebacks to insults - Being right isn’t nearly as important as knowing when to shut up.
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84. Open your mind not your mouth.

Savage Comebacks to insults - Open your mind not your mouth.
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85. Since you know everything, then you know you’re an asshole.

Savage Comebacks to insults - Since you know everything, then you know you’re an asshole.
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86. I didn’t realize you were an expert on my life and how I should live it!
Continue while I take notes.

Savage Comebacks to insults - I didn’t realize you were an expert on my life and how I should live it! Continue while I ta
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87. Get used to disappointment.

Savage Comebacks to insults - Get used to disappointment.
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88. That’s the most pretentious thing I’ve ever heard.

Savage Comebacks to insults - That’s the most pretentious thing I’ve ever heard.
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89. Where’s your off button?

Savage Comebacks to insults - Where’s your off button?
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90. Are you collecting chins?
Where is your neck?

Savage Comebacks to insults - Are you collecting chins? Where is your neck?
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91. I thought you were attractive, but then you opened your mouth.

Savage Comebacks to insults - I thought you were attractive, but then you opened your mouth.
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92. You do realize makeup isn't going to fix your personality, right?

Savage Comebacks to insults - You do realize makeup isn't going to fix your personality, right?
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Tags: Personality   |   



93. Your taste in music is comparable to a blind man's taste in fashion.

Savage Comebacks to insults - Your taste in music is comparable to a blind man's taste in fashion.
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Tags: Tasteful   |    Music   |    Burn   |   



94. Top five things to avoid in life:
Aids
Cancer
Your taste in music
Choking on horse pee
Drowning in a shallow pool of vomit

Savage Comebacks to insults - Top five things to avoid in life: Aids Cancer Your taste in music Choking on horse pee Dro
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Tags: Tasteful   |    Music   |    Burn   |   



95. I have been a witness to your journey from immaturity to maturity.

Savage Comebacks to insults - I have been a witness to your journey from immaturity to maturity.
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Tags: Immaturity   |    Maturity   |   



96. Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice.

- Bill Watterson

Savage Comebacks to insults - Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think fast
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Tags: Psychology   |   



97. I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

- Groucho Marx

Savage Comebacks to insults - I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
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Tags: Funny   |    Minion   |   



98. I like winning; I hope you do too!

- Gary Vaynerchuk

Savage Comebacks to insults - I like winning; I hope you do too!
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Tags: Success   |   



99. People should get what they deserve.

- Dexter

Savage Comebacks to insults - People should get what they deserve.
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Deserve   |   



100. I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll make an exception.

Savage Comebacks to insults - I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll make an exception.
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101. I hope Karma slaps you in the face before I do.

Savage Comebacks to insults - I hope Karma slaps you in the face before I do.
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Tags: Karma   |    Sassy   |   



102. If you listen to me closely, you can hear me not caring.

Savage Comebacks to insults - If you listen to me closely, you can hear me not caring.
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Tags: I Dont Care   |   



103. I always laugh when people try to hurt my feelings.

As if I have any.

Savage Comebacks to insults - I always laugh when people try to hurt my feelings. As if I have any.
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Tags: Sassy   |    Feelings   |   



104. I´m not mean, I´m just brutally honest.

It´s not my fault that truth hurts.

Here’s a band-aid.

Savage Comebacks to insults - I´m not mean, I´m just brutally honest. It´s not my fault that truth hurts. Here’s a
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Tags: Mean   |    Honest   |    Truth   |    Sassy   |    Blunt   |   



105. The difference between a pizza and your opinion is that I only asked for the pizza.

Savage Comebacks to insults - The difference between a pizza and your opinion is that I only asked for the pizza.
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Tags: Sassy   |    Your Opinion   |    Judgemental   |   



106. If karma doesn’t give you what you deserve, I certainly will.

Savage Comebacks to insults - If karma doesn’t give you what you deserve, I certainly will.
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Tags: Karma   |    Sassy   |   



107. Revenge? Nah, I’m too lazy for that shit.

I’m gonna just sit here and watch from the front seat when karma hits you.

Savage Comebacks to insults - Revenge? Nah, I’m too lazy for that shit. I’m gonna just sit here and watch from the fro
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Tags: Sassy   |    Karma   |    Revenge   |    Sassy   |   



108. Don’t get bitter, get better.

Savage Comebacks to insults - Don’t get bitter, get better.
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Tags: Sassy   |   



109. I am not picky, I just know what I want.

Savage Comebacks to insults - I am not picky, I just know what I want.
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Tags: Self Love   |    Girl Power   |   



110. Be proud of your extra pounds.

Studies state that fat people are harder to kidnap

Savage Comebacks to insults - Be proud of your extra pounds. Studies state that fat people are harder to kidnap
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Tags: Weight Loss   |    Funny   |    Diet   |    Foodie   |   



111. Look – I’m only responsible for the words that come out of my mouth.

I’m not responsible for you not understanding them.

Savage Comebacks to insults - Look – I’m only responsible for the words that come out of my mouth. I’m not responsib
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Tags: Sassy   |    Judgemental   |   



112. Silence is the best response when you’re dealing with an idiot.

Savage Comebacks to insults - Silence is the best response when you’re dealing with an idiot.
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Tags: Silence   |    Idiot   |   



113. I’m not mad you told all my friends I’m a psycho. They’re my friends, they already know.

Savage Comebacks to insults - I’m not mad you told all my friends I’m a psycho. They’re my friends, they already know.
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Tags: Backbiting   |    Sassy   |    Funny   |   



114. Putting people down does not make you a powerful and a strong person.

It makes you a bully, a coward and eventually alone in life.

- Tess Calomino

Savage Comebacks to insults - Putting people down does not make you a powerful and a strong person. It makes you a bully,
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Tags: Loneliness   |    Girl Power   |    Power   |    Power   |    When Someone Puts You Down   |    When Someone Puts You Down   |    Coward   |    Bully   |   



115. You never look good trying to make someone else look bad.

Savage Comebacks to insults - You never look good trying to make someone else look bad.
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Tags: Backbiting   |    When Someone Puts You Down   |    Impression   |   



116. These are your good days.

The worst are yet to come.

- Ertugrul

Savage Comebacks to insults - These are your good days. The worst are yet to come.
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Tags: Revenge   |    Enemy   |   



117. There’s something i always wanted to say to you.

I don’t really understand your jokes.

I mean, they don’t make me laugh, but you always laugh at them.

Savage Comebacks to insults - There’s something i always wanted to say to you. I don’t really understand your jokes.
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118. David Carlton : [to Ali] Have you ever considered becoming a member of parliament?

Ali G : What me wanna do that for? It's full of pricks.

David Carlton : That's a little harsh. I'm an MP, am I a prick?

Ali G : Yes.

- Ali G

Savage Comebacks to insults - David Carlton : [to Ali] Have you ever considered becoming a member of parliament? Ali G :
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Tags: Honest   |    Brutal   |    Savage Comebacks   |    Satire   |   



119. Whenever I'm about to do something, I think,

'Would an idiot do that?' and if they would,

I do not do that thing.

- Dwight Schrute

Savage Comebacks to insults - Whenever I'm about to do something, I think, 'Would an idiot do that?' and if they would,
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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Idiot   |    Sarcastic   |    Thinking   |    Savage Comebacks   |    The Office   |    Do Something   |