Best Funny Comebacks to roast Haters with Images 🖼️
Amazingly Epic Savage n clever Comebacks for roasting the haters, bullies, narcissists and jerks who like to give rude insults. Here are the great funny witty n mean comebacks and roast lines of all time. Give back to the insulting racists, the ill-mannered and rude people who fat shame, bully and body shame for being shot - out of their own insecurities and low self esteems. Here is the biggest most savage compilation of replies that are witty, smart, epic, savage and downright hilarious to shut them up once and for all. Stay Sassy.
Savage Comebacks Quotes
1. My IQ is greater than your weight.
2. Well you are worse than I thought.
3. Your ass must be jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth
4. Did you hear that? It’s the sound of no one caring…
5. Woman: "If you were my husband, I'd poison your coffee."
Man: "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."
6. You have a face not even a mother could love.
7. If i am ever drunk, you will be damn good looking.
Tags: Good Looks |
8. I can get a plastic surgery to fix my ugliness, you on the other hand will be stupid for eternity.
9. I am not being rude. You are just insignificant.
Tags: Rude |
10. You’re gay.
You wish i was.
11. I am happier than you are.
12. At least I smell good.
13. Yeah, that's no problem, you're not my type anyway.
14. I love what you’ve done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that?
15. Stupidity isn't a crime, so you’re free to go.
16. If I had a face like yours I’d sue my parents.
17. You’re not stupid; you just have bad luck when thinking.
18. I was hoping for a battle of wits but you appear to be unarmed.
19. You bring everyone a lot of joy, when you leave the room.
20. I’m jealous of all the people that haven’t met you!
Tags: Jealousy | Funny | Haters |
21. I don’t exactly hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water, I’d drink it.
22. Shock me, say something intelligent.
23. You have the perfect face for radio.
24. Damn not you again.
25. I fart to make you smell better.
26. Yeah you’re pretty, pretty stupid.
27. 100,000 sperm, you were the fastest?
28. Ordinarily people live and learn. You just live.
29. If I am ugly then you must be hideous
30. Guys like you are why girls turn into lesbians.
31. Your only purpose in life is as an organ donor.
32. Have a nice day, somewhere else.
33. You deserve better and so do I.
Tags: Deserve |
34. "Wanna hear a joke?"
"No, thanks I am already looking at one!"
35. After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."
She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."
36. Remember that time i asked you for your opinion?
Me neither.
Tags: Unsolicited Advice | Mind Your Own Business |
37. If you really want to know about mistakes, you should ask your parents.
38. Please, keep talking. I always yawn when I am interested.
39. Jesus loves you… but everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.
40. You have the right to remain silent because whatever you say will probably be stupid anyway.
41. I had a nightmare. I dreamed I was you.
42. Nice shirt, what brand is it? Clearance?
43. You have enough fat to make another human.
44. I am not anti-social. I just don’t like you.
45. You shouldn't talk about your mom like that.
46. The 80s called. They want their haircut back.
The 1880s called, too. They want their joke back.
47. Is that your face? Or did your neck just throw up?
Couldn’t help it. One look at you and I started to vomit.
48. Your favorite color must be black?
Mine’s yellow. That’s why I love your teeth.
Tags: Teeth Whitening | Burn |
49. I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and crap a better argument than yours.
Well it would be a nice change from all the crap that’s been coming out of your mouth!
50. Is that perfume or marinade?
Actually, it’s jerk repellent, but it doesn’t seem to be working.
51. Do they make those pants in men’s sizes?
Why, are you looking for something to get your wife?
52. How’s the wife and my kids?
Your kids? That explains why they’re so ugly.
53. You have your entire life to be a jerk. Why not take today off?
54. Some day you’ll go far — and I really hope you stay there.
55. Sometimes it’s better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you’re stupid than open it and remove all doubt.
56. I’m not a proctologist, but I know an asshole when I see one.
57. Everyone’s entitled to act stupid once in awhile, but you really abuse the privilege.
58. Good story, but in what chapter do you shut the fuck up?
59. Don’t hate me because I’m smart. Hate me because your girlfriend thinks so.
60. Are you always such an idiot, or do you just show off when I’m around?
61. You have a right to your opinion and I have a right to ignore it.
62. Your inappropriateness knows no boundaries.
Tags: Inappropriate | Funny | Dumbness |
63. I used to think I was overreacting. Now I realize that it was a normal reaction to an abnormal amount of bullshit.
64. It's scary to think that people like you are graduating from college.
65. That's why you shouldn't speak until you're spoken to.
66. You better hope you marry rich.
67. Aww, it's so cute when you try to talk about things you don't understand.
68. The people who tolerate you on a daily basis are the real heroes.
Tags: Tolerance |
69. If everywhere you go there’s a problem.. Guess what?
70. No really, it’s adorable when you blame everyone but yourself.
71. Some people create their own storms and then get upset when it rains.
Tags: Storm |
72. Before you judge me, make sure you’re perfect.
Tags: Judgemental |
73. I think some people enjoy complaining almost as much as they enjoy doing nothing about it.
74. You. Cut out that egocentric control bullshit now.
75. I’m sorry that the control freak in you activates the psycho bitch in me.
76. Oh yes, let’s ignore everything I just said and talk some more about you.
77. I don’t know why you think you have a psychic ability to read me!
78. It’s called originality, you should try it sometime.
79. Thanks for trying so hard to be just like me. I wouldn’t want to be you, either.
80. You were born an original don’t die a copy.
81. Unless your name is Google stop acting like you know everything.
82. You would argue with a fence post.
83. Being right isn’t nearly as important as knowing when to shut up.
84. Open your mind not your mouth.
85. Since you know everything, then you know you’re an asshole.
86. I didn’t realize you were an expert on my life and how I should live it!
Continue while I take notes.
87. Get used to disappointment.
Tags: Disappointment |
88. That’s the most pretentious thing I’ve ever heard.
89. Where’s your off button?
90. Are you collecting chins?
Where is your neck?
91. I thought you were attractive, but then you opened your mouth.
92. You do realize makeup isn't going to fix your personality, right?
Tags: Personality |
93. Your taste in music is comparable to a blind man's taste in fashion.
Tags: Tasteful | Music | Burn |
94. Top five things to avoid in life:
Aids
Cancer
Your taste in music
Choking on horse pee
Drowning in a shallow pool of vomit
Tags: Tasteful | Music | Burn | Drowning |
95. I have been a witness to your journey from immaturity to maturity.
Tags: Immaturity | Maturity |
96. Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice.
Tags: Psychology | Talking Too Much | Listening a Person |
97. I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Tags: Funny | Minion | Quotes that will make you cry |
98. I like winning; I hope you do too!
Tags: Success |
99. People should get what they deserve.
- Dexter
Tags: TV Show Quotes | Deserve |
100. I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll make an exception.
101. I hope Karma slaps you in the face before I do.
102. If you listen to me closely, you can hear me not caring.
Tags: I Dont Care |
103. I always laugh when people try to hurt my feelings.
As if I have any.
104. I´m not mean, I´m just brutally honest.
It´s not my fault that truth hurts.
Here’s a band-aid.
Tags: Mean | Honest | Truth | Sassy | Blunt |
105. The difference between a pizza and your opinion is that I only asked for the pizza.
Tags: Sassy | Opinion | Judgemental |
106. If karma doesn’t give you what you deserve, I certainly will.
107. Revenge? Nah, I’m too lazy for that shit.
I’m gonna just sit here and watch from the front seat when karma hits you.
Tags: Sassy | Karma | Revenge | Sassy |
108. Don’t get bitter, get better.
Tags: Sassy |
109. I am not picky, I just know what I want.
Tags: Self Love | Girl Power |
110. Be proud of your extra pounds.
Studies state that fat people are harder to kidnap
Tags: Weight Loss | Funny | Diet | Foodie | Quotes that will make you cry |
111. Look – I’m only responsible for the words that come out of my mouth.
I’m not responsible for you not understanding them.
Tags: Sassy | Judgemental |
112. Silence is the best response when you’re dealing with an idiot.
113. I’m not mad you told all my friends I’m a psycho. They’re my friends, they already know.
Tags: Backbiting | Sassy | Funny | Quotes that will make you cry |
114. Putting people down does not make you a powerful and a strong person.
It makes you a bully, a coward and eventually alone in life.
Tags: Loneliness | Girl Power | Power | Power | When Someone Puts You Down | When Someone Puts You Down | Coward | Bully | Cant Bring Me Down |
115. You never look good trying to make someone else look bad.
Tags: Backbiting | When Someone Puts You Down | Impression |
116. These are your good days.
The worst are yet to come.
- Ertugrul
Tags: Revenge | Enemy | Worst |
117. There’s something i always wanted to say to you.
I don’t really understand your jokes.
I mean, they don’t make me laugh, but you always laugh at them.
118. David Carlton : [to Ali] Have you ever considered becoming a member of parliament?
Ali G : What me wanna do that for? It's full of pricks.
David Carlton : That's a little harsh. I'm an MP, am I a prick?
Ali G : Yes.
- Ali G
Tags: Honest | Brutal | Savage Comebacks | Satire | Retarded |
119. Whenever I'm about to do something, I think,
'Would an idiot do that?' and if they would,
I do not do that thing.
Tags: TV Show Quotes | Idiot | Sarcastic | Thinking | Savage Comebacks | The Office | Do Something |
120. Close your mouth, sweetie.
You look like a trout.
Tags: TV Show Quotes | Savage Comebacks | The Office | Shut Up |
121. Who cares for your beauty if your tongue is ugly.
Tags: Beauty | Savage Comebacks | Tongue | Ugly | Ugly Girl |
122. You can't photoshop personality.
Tags: Savage Comebacks | Personality | Photoshop |
123. Congratulations on your ability to create drama out of absolutely nothing.
Tags: Savage Comebacks | Drama |
124. I didn’t mean to push your buttons. I was just looking for mute.
Tags: Savage Comebacks | Drama |
125. You do realize that people just tolerate you?
Tags: Savage Comebacks | Tolerance |
126. Whoever told you to be yourself gave you really bad advice!
Tags: Savage Comebacks | Be Yourself |
127. I hope one day, you choke on the shit you talk.
Tags: Savage Comebacks | Racism |
128. I'm not a nerd. I'm just smarter than you.
Tags: Savage Comebacks | Nerdy |
129. You're Weird!
Thanks! Normal is boring.
Tags: Savage Comebacks | Weird | Boring |
130. Get a Life!
You mean like yours? No thanks, I'll pass.
Tags: Savage Comebacks |
131. Please unsubscribe me from your newsletter.
Tags: Savage Comebacks | Unsolicited Advice | Mind Your Own Business |
132. Do yourself a favor and ignore anyone who tells you to be yourself. Bad idea in your case.
Tags: Savage Comebacks | Be Yourself | Bad Idea |
133. There are some remarkably dumb people in this world. Thanks for helping me understand that.
Tags: Savage Comebacks | Dumbness |
134. I believed in evolution until I met you.
Tags: Savage Comebacks | Evolution |
135. Why aren't you married yet?
I'm just lucky I guess!
Tags: Savage Comebacks | Marriage |
136. Don't you get tired of putting makeup on two faces every morning?
Tags: Two Faced People | Savage Comebacks |
137. Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parent’s job.
Tags: Savage Comebacks | Be Yourself | Who Am I |
138. You're Ugly
Why are you talking to a mirror?
Tags: Savage Comebacks |
139. Racist Joke? Coming from a face only a mother could love?
Tags: Savage Comebacks | Racism |
140. obviously you haven’t been looking in the mirror (HAHAHA)
Tags: Savage Comebacks |
141. Our time together has just become more effort than you’re worth.
Tags: Savage Comebacks | Not Worth It | Waste of Time |
142. keep your opinions to yourself
Tags: Savage Comebacks | Opinion |
143. Well you are worse than i thought
Tags: Savage Comebacks |
144. I'm sorry am I supposed to care?
Tags: Sassy | Savage Comebacks |
145. You are an idiot slash stupid
Tags: Savage Comebacks | Idiot | Stupid People |
146. You really do live in your own little world don't you?
Tags: TV Show Quotes | FRIENDS TV Show | Sarcastic | Savage Comebacks |
147. Why do I bother talking to you people!?
If it’ll make u feel better we rarely listen…
Tags: Savage Comebacks |
148. You really have all the answers don't you?
Tags: Savage Comebacks |
149. it's called manners jerk!
Tags: Savage Comebacks |
150. If you ran like your mouth, you’d be in good shape.
Tags: Savage Comebacks | Talking Too Much | Overweight |
151. Kevin: I could kill you if I wanted to, Snow.
Cecil: Yeah? So could another human being.
Kevin:
Cecil: So could a dog.
Kevin:
Cecil: So could a dedicated duck.
Kevin:
Cecil: You aren't special, Kevin.
Tags: Incorrect | Threatening | Savage Comebacks | You Are Not Special | Snow |
152. Klaus: Hey, Do you think I could fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?
Five: You're a hazard to society.
Ben: And a coward. Do 20.
Tags: Incorrect | Savage Comebacks | Marshmallow | Hazard | Coward |
153. Shiromori: How Tall are you?
Mystery: Height is a social construct.
Shiromori: So you'reshort.
Tags: Incorrect | Savage Comebacks | Self Esteem | Tall |
154. Hoseok: why do you watch so much murder stuff?
Yoongi: just in case you slip up.
Tags: Incorrect | Murder | Funny | Conversation | Savage Comebacks | Quotes that will make you cry |
155. Light: i have feelings for you
Misa: you do?
Light: yes. i feel you're a little bit annoying
Tags: Incorrect | Feelings | Funny | Savage Comebacks | Quotes that will make you cry |
156. Gyro: alright so you and I are married
Johnny: we are not married
Gyro: it's a pretend.
Johnny: I don't wanna pretend
Gyro: scared you'll like it?
Johnny: okay if we're married, I want a divorce.
Diego: Are you two like this all the time?
Hot Pants: yes, they are.
Tags: Incorrect | Marriage | Funny | Savage Comebacks | Pretending | Hypothetical | Divorce | Quotes that will make you cry |
157. Hephaestus: Sorry mom, called you by accident
Hera: No worries. Had you on accident
Tags: Incorrect | Funny | Savage Comebacks | Call Your Mom | Quotes that will make you cry |
158. A: You think you're smarter than everyone else.
B: I don't think I'm smarter than everyone else. I know I am.
Tags: Incorrect | Funny | Savage Comebacks | Cocky | Smart | Trying To Be Smart | Quotes that will make you cry |
159. A: Can you be quiet?! I'm trying to think.
B: Don't worry. Doing anything for the first time is difficult.
Tags: Incorrect | Funny | Annoyingly Funny | Quiet | Rude | Savage Comebacks | Blunt | Quotes that will make you cry |
160. Words cannot express how much I don't care.
Tags: I Dont Care | Careless | Funny | Savage Comebacks |
161. WHEN A MAN STEALS YOUR WIFE, THERE IS NO BETTER REVENGE THAN TO LET HIM KEEP HER.
Tags: Funny Cheating | Cheating | Savage Comebacks |
162. If I swallow scrabble pieces and barf it out, that would still make a better statement than what you speak.
Tags: Savage Comebacks | Girl Power | Instagram captions for Girls |
163. Is it remotely possible for you to carry on a conversation that's not loaded down with manure?
Tags: Bullshit | Savage Comebacks | Liar | Sarcastic | Conversation |
164. I wonder if you can taste the bullsh*t that's coming out of your mouth.
Tags: Bullshit | Taste | Savage Comebacks | Sassy | Sarcasm |
165. Girl: I'm watching Beauty & the Beast. If you were a Beast, I'd still love you.
Boy: :)
Boy: And if you were a Beauty, I'd still love you.
Tags: Savage Comebacks | Beauty | Beast | Rude | Demeaning |
166. Stupidity is not a crime. It it is, you'll end up in jail.
Tags: Funny Jail | Savage Comebacks | Crime | Stupid People | Stupid |
167. My friend, remember that without stupidity there wouldn't be intelligence, and without ugliness there wouldn't be beauty, so the world needs you after all.
Tags: Savage Comebacks | Sassy | Rude | Intelligence |
168. Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.
Tags: Savage Comebacks | Makeup | Beauty | Ugly | Mean | Rude | Sassy | Funny Life |
169. Did you just fall?
No, I was checking if gravity still works.
Tags: Sarcastic | Sarcasm | Joke | Savage Comebacks | Sassy |
170. If I wanted to kill myself I would climb up to the top of your ego and jump to your IQ
Tags: Funny | Sassy | Savage Comebacks | Kill | Suicide | Ego | Dumbness |
171. Wife: I have changed my mind.
Husband: Does the new one work?
Tags: Funny Wife | Savage Comebacks | Sarcastic | Conversation | Question | Sassy | Burn |
172. A businessman was having a tough time lugging his lumpy, oversized travel bag onto the plane. Helped by a flight attendant, he finally managed to stuff it in the overhead bin.
“Do you always carry such heavy luggage?” she sighed.
“No more,” the man said. “Next time, I’m riding in the bag, and my partner can buy the ticket!”
Tags: Airplane Puns | Savage Comebacks |
173. Oh you’re talking to me, I thought you only talked behind my back.
Tags: Backbiting | Savage Comebacks | Gossip |
174. I was going to give you a nasty look, but I see you already have one.
Tags: Savage Comebacks | Ugly | Ugly Girl |
175. Of course I talk like an idiot. How else could you understand me?
Tags: Savage Comebacks | Idiot | Fool | Intelligence |
176. Even if I didn't have standards, you will still be below my standards.
Tags: Standards | Savage Comebacks | Sassy | Slang | Kick Rocks |
177. So you want me to change who I am?
No, I just want you to hide who you are.
Tags: Savage Comebacks | Funny | TV Show Quotes | Who Am I |
178. Someday you'll find yourself, and will you be disappointed.
Tags: Savage Comebacks | Finding Yourself |
179. Mirrors can't talk. Luckily for you, they can't laugh either.
Tags: Savage Comebacks | Mirror | Ugly |
180. Do you want people to accept you as you are or do you want them to like you?
Tags: Savage Comebacks | Dislike |
181. If you have something to say, raise your hand and place it over your mouth.
Tags: Shut Up | Savage Comebacks | Say What | Saying No |
182. You're a person of rare intelligence. It's rare when you show any.
Tags: Savage Comebacks | Unique and Rare | Intelligence |
183. I'll never forget the first time we met, although I'll keep trying.
Tags: Savage Comebacks |
184. If you can't laugh at yourself, I'd be glad to do so for you.
Tags: Savage Comebacks | Laugh At Yourself |
185. It’s not so important who starts the game but who finishes it.
Tags: Basketball | Last Laugh | Winner | Loser | Savage Comebacks | Sports |
186. Your mouth ...
Close that thing.
Tags: Mind Your Own Business | Sassy | Savage Comebacks | Shut Up |
187. If people think Barbie is fake, wait until they meet you.
Tags: Mind Your Own Business | Fake Friendship | Fake Love | Fake Happy | Reality | Savage Comebacks | Sassy |
188. Your existence gives me a headache.
Go stand over there.
Tags: Mind Your Own Business | Sassy | Savage Comebacks |
189. In order for you to insult me, I will first have to value your opinion.
Tags: Cant Bring Me Down | Insulting | Humiliation | Opinion | I Dont Care | Savage Comebacks |
190. No matter how hard you scrub, you can't wash the double standard from your hands.
Tags: Funny Double Standard | Savage Comebacks |
191. It’s remarkable how important you think you are.
Tags: Savage Comebacks | Importance | Narcissism |
192. If you’re gonna be two-faced at least make one of them pretty.
Tags: Personality | Two Faced People | Pretty | Savage Comebacks |
193. I hope you lose weight so there will be less of you.
Tags: Savage Comebacks | Insulting | Weight Loss | Irritated | Sarcastic |
194. I can only explain it to you. I cannot understand it for you.
Tags: Savage Comebacks | Understanding | Dumbness | Basic | Explanation | Sarcastic |
195. You are a terrible person.
Don’t ever convince yourself of anything else.
Tags: Savage Comebacks | Comeback | Terrible | Convincing | Denial | Bully |
196. It would be nice if you didn’t correct me all the time.
It would be nice if I didn’t have to.
Tags: Incorrect | Know It All | Being Nice | Savage Comebacks |
197. Keep Going, girl.
Never come back.
Tags: Savage Comebacks |