The best Sarcastic quotes, remarks, sayings and comments on life and relationships.
1. Don't look at me in that tone of voice.
2. People, generally, suck.
3. InshaAllah (noun):
A Magical land where 99% of all promises, presence and punctuality is stored.
4. A: [B], we tried things your way.
B: No, we didn't.
A: I did it in my head and it didn't work.
5. Look, it doesn’t take a genius to know that every organization thrives when it has two leaders. Go ahead, name a country that doesn’t have two presidents. A boat that sets sail without two captains. Where would Catholicism be without the popes?
6. You really do live in your own little world don't you?
7. Sorry I annoyed you with my friendship.
8. Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind.
9. A: So what do you have planned for the future?
A: No, like long term.
B: Oh...um, dinner?
10. the quickest way to a man's heart is through 4th and 5th ribs
11. I had a great summer. I got west nile virus, lost a ton of weight. Then I went back to the lake. And I stepped on a piece of glass in the parking lot, which hurt. That got infected. Even though I peed on it...
12. I’m not a millionaire.
I thought I would be by the time I was 30, but I wasn’t even close.
Then I thought maybe by 40, but by 40 I had less money than I did when I was 30.
13. Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?
Tags: Psychology |
14. Why are you the way that you are?
15. One day Michael came in and complained about a speed bump on the highway. I wonder who he ran over then.
16. Whenever I'm about to do something, I think,
'Would an idiot do that?' and if they would,
I do not do that thing.
17. Every year, back comes Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants.
18. Some women have mood swings... others have mood theme parks.
19. A: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.
20. I'm sarcastic because punching people is so Haraam.
21. Last year, Creed asked me how to set up a blog. Wanting to protect the world from being exposed to Creed’s brain, I opened up a Word document on his computer and put an address at the top.
I’ve read some of it.
Even for the Internet, it’s… pretty shocking.
22. Kelly: If I was you, I would just like, freak out and get really drunk, and then tell someone I was pregnant.
Pam: Okay, that's a lot of good ideas. Thanks.