50 Sarcastic Quotes with Images 📸🖼️

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The best Sarcastic quotes, remarks, sayings and comments on life and relationships.

Sarcastic Quotes

1. Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?

Tags: Psychology |

Sarcastic Quotes - People, generally, suck.

2. People, generally, suck.

- Christopher Moore

Tags: Funny | Life | Minion | Quotes that will make you cry |

Sarcastic Quotes - Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind.

3. Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind.

- Terry Pratchett

Sarcastic Quotes - Don't look at me in that tone of voice.

4. Don't look at me in that tone of voice.

- Dorothy Parker

Tags: Sassy | Opinion | Judgemental | Tone of Voice |

Sarcastic Quotes - Every year, back comes Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all muc

5. Every year, back comes Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants.

- Dorothy Parker

Sarcastic Quotes - One day Michael came in and complained about a speed bump on the highway. I wonder who he ran over then.

6. One day Michael came in and complained about a speed bump on the highway. I wonder who he ran over then.

- Jim Halpert

Sarcastic Quotes - Sorry I annoyed you with my friendship.

7. Sorry I annoyed you with my friendship.

- Andy Bernard

Sarcastic Quotes - Whenever I'm about to do something, I think, 'Would an idiot do that?' and if they would, I do not

8. Whenever I'm about to do something, I think,

'Would an idiot do that?' and if they would,

I do not do that thing.

- Dwight Schrute

Sarcastic Quotes - I’m not a millionaire. I thought I would be by the time I was 30, but I wasn’t even close. Then

9. I’m not a millionaire.

I thought I would be by the time I was 30, but I wasn’t even close.

Then I thought maybe by 40, but by 40 I had less money than I did when I was 30.

- Michael Scott

Sarcastic Quotes - Why are you the way that you are?

10. Why are you the way that you are?

- Michael Scott

Sarcastic Quotes - Look, it doesn’t take a genius to know that every organization thrives when it has two leaders. Go ahead

11. Look, it doesn’t take a genius to know that every organization thrives when it has two leaders. Go ahead, name a country that doesn’t have two presidents. A boat that sets sail without two captains. Where would Catholicism be without the popes?

- Oscar Martinez

12. Last year, Creed asked me how to set up a blog. Wanting to protect the world from being exposed to Creed’s brain, I opened up a Word document on his computer and put an address at the top.

I’ve read some of it.

Even for the Internet, it’s… pretty shocking.

- Ryan Howard

Sarcastic Quotes - I had a great summer. I got west nile virus, lost a ton of weight. Then I went back to the lake. And I ste

13. I had a great summer. I got west nile virus, lost a ton of weight. Then I went back to the lake. And I stepped on a piece of glass in the parking lot, which hurt. That got infected. Even though I peed on it...

- Michael Scott

Sarcastic Quotes - Kelly: If I was you, I would just like, freak out and get really drunk, and then tell someone I was pregna

14. Kelly: If I was you, I would just like, freak out and get really drunk, and then tell someone I was pregnant.

Pam: Okay, that's a lot of good ideas. Thanks.

- Pam Beesly

Sarcastic Quotes - InshaAllah (noun): A Magical land where 99% of all promises, presence and punctuality is stored.

15. InshaAllah (noun):

A Magical land where 99% of all promises, presence and punctuality is stored.

Sarcastic Quotes - I'm sarcastic because punching people is so Haraam.

16. I'm sarcastic because punching people is so Haraam.

Sarcastic Quotes - Some women have mood swings... others have mood theme parks.

17. Some women have mood swings... others have mood theme parks.

Tags: Mood Swings | Sarcastic | Theme Park |

Sarcastic Quotes - You really do live in your own little world don't you?

18. You really do live in your own little world don't you?

- Chandler Bing

Tags: TV Show Quotes | FRIENDS TV Show | Sarcastic | Savage Comebacks |

Sarcastic Quotes - the quickest way to a man's heart is through 4th and 5th ribs

19. the quickest way to a man's heart is through 4th and 5th ribs

Sarcastic Quotes - A: [B], we tried things your way. B: No, we didn't. A: I did it in my head and it didn't work.

20. A: [B], we tried things your way.
B: No, we didn't.
A: I did it in my head and it didn't work.

Sarcastic Quotes - A: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's suppos

21. A: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.

Sarcastic Quotes - A: So what do you have planned for the future? B: Lunch. A: No, like long term. B: Oh...um, dinner?

22. A: So what do you have planned for the future?
B: Lunch.
A: No, like long term.
B: Oh...um, dinner?

Sarcastic Quotes - Men cooking... Because the last generation of mothers didn't teach their daughters shit

23. Men cooking...
Because the last generation of mothers didn't teach their daughters shit

Sarcastic Quotes - I can't believe this - both of my boyfriends are cheating on me.

24. I can't believe this - both of my boyfriends are cheating on me.

Sarcastic Quotes - Is it remotely possible for you to carry on a conversation that's not loaded down with manure?

25. Is it remotely possible for you to carry on a conversation that's not loaded down with manure?

- Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Sarcastic Quotes - Did you just fall? No, I was checking if gravity still works.

26. Did you just fall?

No, I was checking if gravity still works.

Sarcastic Quotes - My wife, Mary, and I have been married for forty-seven years, and not once have we had an argument serious

27. My wife, Mary, and I have been married for forty-seven years, and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.

- Jack Benny