29 Sarcastic Quotes with Images 📸🖼️

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The best Sarcastic quotes, remarks, sayings and comments on life and relationships.

Sarcastic Quotes

1. Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?


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Tags: Psychology   |   



2. People, generally, suck.

- Christopher Moore


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Tags: Funny   |    Life   |    Minion   |    Quotes that will make you cry   |   

3. Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind.

- Terry Pratchett


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4. Don't look at me in that tone of voice.

- Dorothy Parker


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Tags: Sassy   |    Your Opinion   |    Judgemental   |   



5. Every year, back comes Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants.

- Dorothy Parker


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Tags: Pessimism   |    Negativity   |    Funny   |    Sassy   |    Sarcastic   |    Inspirational Women   |    Instagram captions for Girls   |    Quotes that will make you cry   |   

6. One day Michael came in and complained about a speed bump on the highway. I wonder who he ran over then.

- Jim Halpert


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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Sarcastic   |    The Office   |    Speed Bump   |    Highway   |   



7. Sorry I annoyed you with my friendship.

- Andy Bernard


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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Sarcastic   |    Fake Friendship   |    The Office   |    Ungrateful   |    Thankless   |   



8. Whenever I'm about to do something, I think,

'Would an idiot do that?' and if they would,

I do not do that thing.

- Dwight Schrute


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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Idiot   |    Sarcastic   |    Thinking   |    Savage Comebacks   |    The Office   |    Do Something   |   

9. I’m not a millionaire.

I thought I would be by the time I was 30, but I wasn’t even close.

Then I thought maybe by 40, but by 40 I had less money than I did when I was 30.

- Michael Scott


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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Money   |    Sarcastic   |    The Office   |    Millionaire   |    Time   |    Turning 30   |    Turning 40   |    Less Money   |   

10. Why are you the way that you are?

- Michael Scott


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Tags: Burn   |    TV Show Quotes   |    Sarcastic   |    The Office   |    Oh God Why   |   



11. Look, it doesn’t take a genius to know that every organization thrives when it has two leaders. Go ahead, name a country that doesn’t have two presidents. A boat that sets sail without two captains. Where would Catholicism be without the popes?

- Oscar Martinez


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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Sarcastic   |    The Office   |    Genius   |   

12. Last year, Creed asked me how to set up a blog. Wanting to protect the world from being exposed to Creed’s brain, I opened up a Word document on his computer and put an address at the top.

I’ve read some of it.

Even for the Internet, it’s… pretty shocking.

- Ryan Howard


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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Sarcastic   |    Blogging   |    Fool   |    The Office   |    Internet   |    Shocking   |   

13. I had a great summer. I got west nile virus, lost a ton of weight. Then I went back to the lake. And I stepped on a piece of glass in the parking lot, which hurt. That got infected. Even though I peed on it...

- Michael Scott


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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Sarcastic   |    Things Getting Worse   |    Dumbness   |    The Office   |    Summer   |    Unaware   |   



14. Kelly: If I was you, I would just like, freak out and get really drunk, and then tell someone I was pregnant.

Pam: Okay, that's a lot of good ideas. Thanks.

- Pam Beesly


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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Drama   |    Sarcastic   |    Good Ideas   |    The Office   |    Thanks   |   

15. InshaAllah (noun):


A Magical land where 99% of all promises, presence and punctuality is stored.


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Tags: Sarcastic   |    Promise   |    Funny Muslim Memes and Quotes   |    Inshallah   |    Punctuality   |    Magical Land   |    Quotes that will make you cry   |   

16. I'm sarcastic because punching people is so Haraam.


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Tags: Sarcastic   |    Haram   |    Annoying People   |    Funny Muslim Memes and Quotes   |    Quotes that will make you cry   |   



17. Some women have mood swings... others have mood theme parks.


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Tags: Mood Swings   |    Sarcastic   |   

18. You really do live in your own little world don't you?

- Chandler Bing


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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    FRIENDS TV Show   |    Sarcastic   |    Savage Comebacks   |   

19. the quickest way to a man's heart is through 4th and 5th ribs


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Tags: Incorrect   |    Funny   |    Quick   |    Sarcastic   |    Quotes that will make you cry   |   



20. A: [B], we tried things your way.
B: No, we didn't.
A: I did it in my head and it didn't work.


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Tags: Incorrect   |    Funny   |    Conversation   |    Sarcastic   |    Quotes that will make you cry   |   

21. A: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.


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Tags: Incorrect   |    Oops   |    Blood   |    Dumbness   |    Sarcastic   |   

22. A: So what do you have planned for the future?
B: Lunch.
A: No, like long term.
B: Oh...um, dinner?


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Tags: Incorrect   |    Funny   |    Annoyingly Funny   |    Sarcastic   |    Conversation   |    Quotes that will make you cry   |   



23. Men cooking...
Because the last generation of mothers didn't teach their daughters shit


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Tags: Men Cooking   |    Funny Memes   |    Generation Gap   |    Judgemental   |    Sarcastic   |   

24. I can't believe this - both of my boyfriends are cheating on me.


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Tags: Cheating   |    Funny Cheating   |    Sarcastic   |    Hypocrisy   |   

25. Is it remotely possible for you to carry on a conversation that's not loaded down with manure?

- Susan Elizabeth Phillips


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Tags: Bullshit   |    Savage Comebacks   |    Liar   |    Sarcastic   |    Conversation   |   



26. Did you just fall?

No, I was checking if gravity still works.


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Tags: Sarcastic   |    Sarcasm   |    Joke   |    Savage Comebacks   |    Sassy   |   

27. My wife, Mary, and I have been married for forty-seven years, and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.

- Jack Benny


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Tags: Funny Marriage   |    Marriage Story   |    Marriage   |    Murder   |    Divorce   |    Sarcastic   |   

28. Wife: I have changed my mind.
Husband: Does the new one work?


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Tags: Funny Wife   |    Savage Comebacks   |    Sarcastic   |    Conversation   |    Question   |    Sassy   |    Burn   |   



29. My friend said, "What rhymes with banana?"
I replied: "No it doesn't".


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Tags: Lame Questions Answers   |    Annoyingly Funny   |    Smart   |    Sarcastic   |