50 Sarcastic Quotes with Images 📸🖼️
The best Sarcastic quotes, remarks, sayings and comments on life and relationships.
Sarcastic Quotes
1. Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?


Tags: Psychology |
2. People, generally, suck.


Tags: Funny | Life | Minion | Quotes that will make you cry |
3. Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind.


4. Don't look at me in that tone of voice.


Tags: Sassy | Opinion | Judgemental | Tone of Voice |
5. Every year, back comes Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants.


Tags: Pessimism | Negativity | Funny | Sassy | Sarcastic | Inspirational Women | Instagram captions for Girls | Quotes that will make you cry |
6. One day Michael came in and complained about a speed bump on the highway. I wonder who he ran over then.


Tags: TV Show Quotes | Sarcastic | The Office | Speed Bump | Highway |

7. Sorry I annoyed you with my friendship.


Tags: TV Show Quotes | Sarcastic | Fake Friendship | The Office | Ungrateful | Thankless |
8. Whenever I'm about to do something, I think,
'Would an idiot do that?' and if they would,
I do not do that thing.


Tags: TV Show Quotes | Idiot | Sarcastic | Thinking | Savage Comebacks | The Office | Do Something |
9. I’m not a millionaire.
I thought I would be by the time I was 30, but I wasn’t even close.
Then I thought maybe by 40, but by 40 I had less money than I did when I was 30.


Tags: TV Show Quotes | Money | Sarcastic | The Office | Millionaire | Time | Turning 30 | Turning 40 | Less Money |
10. Why are you the way that you are?


Tags: Burn | TV Show Quotes | Sarcastic | The Office | Oh God Why |
11. Look, it doesn’t take a genius to know that every organization thrives when it has two leaders. Go ahead, name a country that doesn’t have two presidents. A boat that sets sail without two captains. Where would Catholicism be without the popes?


Tags: TV Show Quotes | Sarcastic | The Office | Genius | Sailor | Ship |
12. Last year, Creed asked me how to set up a blog. Wanting to protect the world from being exposed to Creed’s brain, I opened up a Word document on his computer and put an address at the top.
I’ve read some of it.
Even for the Internet, it’s… pretty shocking.


Tags: TV Show Quotes | Sarcastic | Blogging | Fool | The Office | Internet | Shocking |
13. I had a great summer. I got west nile virus, lost a ton of weight. Then I went back to the lake. And I stepped on a piece of glass in the parking lot, which hurt. That got infected. Even though I peed on it...


Tags: TV Show Quotes | Sarcastic | Things Getting Worse | Dumbness | The Office | Summer | Unaware |
14. Kelly: If I was you, I would just like, freak out and get really drunk, and then tell someone I was pregnant.
Pam: Okay, that's a lot of good ideas. Thanks.


Tags: TV Show Quotes | Drama | Sarcastic | Good Ideas | The Office | Thanks |
15. InshaAllah (noun):
A Magical land where 99% of all promises, presence and punctuality is stored.


Tags: Sarcastic | Promise | Funny Muslim Memes and Quotes | Inshallah | Punctuality | Magical Land | Quotes that will make you cry |
16. I'm sarcastic because punching people is so Haraam.


Tags: Sarcastic | Haram | Annoying People | Funny Muslim Memes and Quotes | Quotes that will make you cry |
17. Some women have mood swings... others have mood theme parks.


Tags: Mood Swings | Sarcastic | Theme Park |
18. You really do live in your own little world don't you?


Tags: TV Show Quotes | FRIENDS TV Show | Sarcastic | Savage Comebacks |
19. the quickest way to a man's heart is through 4th and 5th ribs


Tags: Incorrect | Funny | Quick | Sarcastic | Quotes that will make you cry |
20. A: [B], we tried things your way.
B: No, we didn't.
A: I did it in my head and it didn't work.


Tags: Incorrect | Funny | Conversation | Sarcastic | Quotes that will make you cry |
21. A: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.


Tags: Incorrect | Oops | Blood | Dumbness | Sarcastic |
22. A: So what do you have planned for the future?
B: Lunch.
A: No, like long term.
B: Oh...um, dinner?


Tags: Incorrect | Funny | Annoyingly Funny | Sarcastic | Conversation | Quotes that will make you cry |
23. Men cooking...
Because the last generation of mothers didn't teach their daughters shit


Tags: Men Cooking | Funny Memes | Generation Gap | Judgemental | Sarcastic |
24. I can't believe this - both of my boyfriends are cheating on me.


Tags: Cheating | Funny Cheating | Sarcastic | Hypocrisy | Funny Double Standard |
25. Is it remotely possible for you to carry on a conversation that's not loaded down with manure?


Tags: Bullshit | Savage Comebacks | Liar | Sarcastic | Conversation |
26. Did you just fall?
No, I was checking if gravity still works.


Tags: Sarcastic | Sarcasm | Joke | Savage Comebacks | Sassy |
27. My wife, Mary, and I have been married for forty-seven years, and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.


Tags: Funny Marriage | Marriage Story | Marriage | Murder | Divorce | Sarcastic | Consideration | Seriousness |
28. Wife: I have changed my mind.
Husband: Does the new one work?


Tags: Funny Wife | Savage Comebacks | Sarcastic | Conversation | Question | Sassy | Burn |
29. My friend said, "What rhymes with banana?"
I replied: "No it doesn't".


Tags: Lame Questions Answers | Annoyingly Funny | Smart | Sarcastic |
30. When you wish upon a star...
you're actually a few million years late.
The star is dead.
Just like your dreams.


Tags: Dark | Dark Jokes | Sarcastic | Stars | Dream | Funny |
31. Silly me!
I never realized it's one rule for you and a completely different rule for me.


Tags: Funny Double Standard | Sarcastic | Arguments |
32. Oh, how double standard of you.


Tags: Funny Double Standard | Sarcastic |
33. To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.


Tags: Criticism | Nothing To Lose | Nothing to Prove | Nothing | Sarcastic |
34. I hope you lose weight so there will be less of you.


Tags: Savage Comebacks | Insulting | Weight Loss | Irritated | Sarcastic |
35. I can only explain it to you. I cannot understand it for you.


Tags: Savage Comebacks | Understanding | Dumbness | Basic | Explanation | Sarcastic |
36. I don’t know how that’s a good thing, but ok.


37. Well you obviously have a theory so why don’t YOU tell me.


38. I am learning so much from you. Thank you. I never thought of that.


Tags: Learning | Sarcastic | Obvious | Stupid |
39. That was an attempted humor.


Tags: Sense Of Humor | Sarcastic |
40. so you two are together now... my condolences to both of you.


Tags: Sarcastic | Relationship |
41. Seems like the only logical solution.


Tags: Sarcastic |
42. You seem very determined to dislike me.


Tags: Sarcastic | Opinion | Judgemental | Dislike |
43. Thank you. I feel much better.


Tags: Sarcastic |
44. You just made a surprising amount of sense.


Tags: Sarcastic | Dumbness | Stupid People |
45. You don’t give a monkey a gun.


Tags: Monkey | Gun | Sarcastic | Crazy | Stupid People |
46. That is a bit disturbing- on a couple of levels.


Tags: Sarcastic | Disturbing |
47. You’re not helping
I’m not trying to.


48. Right, that’s not weird at all.


49. Shall we commence the awkward car ride back home?


Tags: Sarcastic |
50. I have found the least funny person on the entire planet.


Tags: Sense Of Humor | Sarcastic |