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The biggest collection of Funny quotes and witty one liners on the Internet.

“ This life’s hard, but it’s harder if you’re stupid. ”

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- George V. Higgins

Tags: Funny   |    Hugot Quotes In English   |    Minion   |    Meaningful   |   



“ Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe. ”

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- Albert Einstein

Tags: Minion   |   



“ I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by. ”

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- Douglas Adams

Tags: Minion   |   



“ Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. ”

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- Garrison Keillor

Tags: Spirituality   |   



“ Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. ”

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- Robert A. Heinlein

Tags: Minion   |   



“ The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept. ”

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- George Carlin

Tags: Minion   |   



“ I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. ”

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- W.C. Fields

Tags: Minion   |   



“ I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer ”

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- Douglas Adams

Tags: Minion   |   



“ When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, "Why god? Why me?" and the thundering voice of God answered, There's just something about you that pisses me off. ”

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- Stephen King

Tags: Minion   |   



“ I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. ”

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- Mark Twain

Tags: Minion   |   



“ It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them! ”

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- Friedrich Nietzsche

Tags: Minion   |   



“ “Mom says it's because she has PMS. Do you even know what that means? "I'm not a little kid anymore. It means pissed-at- men syndrome” ”

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- Nicholas Sparks

Tags: Minion   |   



“ If cats looked like frogs we'd realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Style. That's what people remember. ”

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- Terry Pratchett

Tags: Minion   |   



“ Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before. ”

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- Steven Wright

Tags: Minion   |   



“ Few People are alive just because killing is illegal. ”

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Tags: Minion   |   



“ I am patient with stupidity, but not with those who are proud of it. ”

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Tags: Minion   |   



“ There are only two things in life that come without effort - failure and dandruff. ”

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Tags: Failure   |   



“ Just fight all your natural instincts and you will be great. ”

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- Friends TV Show

Tags: Tv Show Quotes   |   



“ Falling in love is a secret ambition, finding true love is the greatest tension, So follow the oldest tradition, And marry your parent's decision. ”

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Tags: Love   |   



“ Food is the only beautiful thing that nourishes. ”

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Tags: Minion   |   



“ Birthdays are a scam. They were invented by Hallmarks to sell cards. ”

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- Ron Swanson

Tags: Tv Show Quotes   |   



“ I love you like a fat kid loves cake! ”

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- Scott Adams

Tags: Love   |   



“ Every now and then I like to do as I'm told, just to confuse people. ”

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- Tamora Pierce

Tags: Minion   |   



“ There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about. ”

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- Oscar Wilde

Tags: Funny   |    Hugot Quotes In English   |    Minion   |    Meaningful   |   



“ I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best. ”

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- Oscar Wilde

Tags: Minion   |    Tasteful   |   



“ Black holes are where God divided by zero. ”

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- Albert Einstein

Tags: Science   |   



“ Why do people say "grow some balls"? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding. ”

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- Sheng Wang

Tags: Minion   |   



“ I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness. ”

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- Bill Watterson

Tags: Love   |   



“ Of course motivation is not permanent. But then, neither is bathing; but it is something you should do on a regular basis. ”

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- Zig Ziglar

Tags: Funny   |    Life   |    Minion   |    Believe In Yourself   |   



“ My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the heck she is. ”

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- Ellen DeGeneres

Tags: Minion   |   



“ I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception. ”

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- Groucho Marx

Tags: Funny   |    Minion   |   



“ Humor is reason gone mad. ”

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- Groucho Marx

Tags: Minion   |   



“ People, generally, suck. ”

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- Christopher Moore

Tags: Funny   |    Life   |    Minion   |   



“ I know all those words, but that sentence makes no sense to me. ”

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- Matt Groening

Tags: Minion   |   



“ People have an annoying habit of remembering things they shouldn't. ”

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- Christopher Paolini

Tags: Minion   |   



“ What religion I follow? It is called none-of-your-business. ”

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- Ron Swanson

Tags: Funny   |    Minion   |    Everyone Should Know   |    Meaningful   |   



“ I have lived with several Zen masters - all of them cats. ”

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- Eckhart Tolle

Tags: Funny   |    Minion   |    Everyone Should Know   |    Meaningful   |   



“ There is no sadness that cannot be cured by breakfast food. ”

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- Ron Swanson

Tags: Sadness   |   



“ Dear Frozen Yoghurt,

You are the celery of desserts.

Be Ice Cream, or be nothing. ”

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- Ron Swanson

Tags: Minion   |   



“ Veganism is a sad result of a morally corrupt mind.

Reconsider your life. ”

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- Ron Swanson

Tags: Vegan   |   



“ Love is blind, it is the marriage that's the eye-opener. ”

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Tags: Marriage   |    Funny   |    Minion   |    Nikah   |   



“ Love is like peeing your pants everyone can see it but only you can feel it.

Thanks for being the pee in my pants. ”

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Tags: Love   |    Funny   |    Minion   |   



“ I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing. ”

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Tags: Funny   |    Lazy   |    Minion   |   



“ Don’t be ashamed of who you are.

That’s your parent’s job. ”

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Tags: Self Love   |    Self Esteem   |    Sassy   |   



“ I can only please one person a day.

Today isn’t your day.

Tomorrow doesn’t look good either. ”

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Tags: Pleasing   |    Sassy   |   



“ Confidence level: selfie with no filter. ”

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Tags: Selfie   |    Social Media   |    Confidence   |   



“ I’m on a seafood diet, I see food and I eat it. ”

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Tags: Weight Loss   |    Funny   |    Diet   |    Foodie   |   



“ “as fuck” is my favorite unit of measurement. ”

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Tags: Sassy   |    Social Media   |   



“ Your hair is 90% of your selfie. ”

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Tags: Selfie   |    Social Media   |    Hair   |    Sassy   |   



“ When I drink alcohol… Everyone says I’m alcoholic. But… When I drink Fanta… No one says I’m fantastic. ”

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Tags: Lame   |   



“ My life feels like a test, for which I skipped studying. ”

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Tags: Sassy   |    Life   |    Funny   |    Meaningful   |   



“ How I feel when there is no coffee?

Depresso. ”

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Tags: Coffee   |    Lame   |   



“ Be proud of your extra pounds.

Studies state that fat people are harder to kidnap ”

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Tags: Weight Loss   |    Funny   |    Diet   |    Foodie   |   



“ I’m not mad you told all my friends I’m a psycho. They’re my friends, they already know. ”

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Tags: Backbiting   |    Sassy   |    Funny   |   



“ This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible.

This was terrible with raisins in it ”

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- Dorothy Parker

Tags: Funny   |    Lame   |   



“ The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires. ”

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- Dorothy Parker

Tags: Parenting   |   



“ Every year, back comes Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants. ”

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- Dorothy Parker

Tags: Pessimism   |    Negativity   |    Funny   |    Sassy   |    Sarcastic   |    Inspirational Women   |    Instagram Captions For Girls   |   



“ I'm trying to figure out if I love art enough to be poor. ”

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- Marina Keegan

Tags: Funny   |    Art   |    Poor   |    Funny   |    Art   |    Poor   |    Figuring It Out   |    Social Entrepreneurship   |   



“ If you're falling off a cliff, you may as well try to fly.

You've got nothing to lose. ”

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- John Sheridan

Tags: Funny   |    Nothing To Lose   |    Loss   |    Flying   |   



“ How can a living man be a person who has nothing to lose?

This is very absurd!

Even a dead man has something to lose: His coffin! ”

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- Mehmet Murat Ildan

Tags: Funny   |    Nothing To Lose   |    Question   |    Absurd   |    Something To Lose   |   



“ What you really accomplished to be an Einstein ”

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“ I won't be impressed with technology until I can download Chocolate. ”

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Tags: Funny   |    Funny   |    Impressing   |    Hard To Impress   |    Chocolate   |   



“ Sex can lead to nasty things like herpes, gonorrhea, and something called relationships. ”

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- Ali G

Tags: Funny   |    Relationship   |    Sex   |   



“ With men and women, does you think that men should marry only one woman? Does you believe in mahogany? ”

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- Ali G

Tags: Annoyingly Funny   |   



“ I don't know if you know this, but dolphins ain't fish. They is like us, they is mammaries. ”

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- Ali G

Tags: Dolphin   |    Annoyingly Funny   |    Mammal   |   



“ What is the different types of hasch out there? We all know that it's called the bionic, the bomb, the puff, the blow, the black, the herb, the sensie, the cronic, the sweet Mary Jane, the shit, Ganja, split, reefa, the bad, the buddha, the home grown, the ill, the maui-maui, the method, pot, lethal turbo, tie, shake, skunk, stress, whacky, weed, glaze, the boot, dimebag, Scooby Doo, bob, bogey, back yard boogie. But what is the other terms for it ”

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- Ali G

Tags: Annoyingly Funny   |    High   |   



“ ATF Officer: We use dogs because they have a great sense of smell.

Ali G: So why does they stick their nose so close to each other buttick?

ATF: Dogs give other dogs sense to tell whats going on so they smell each other.

Ali G: I once smelled a dogs arse and it was terrible. Why does they do it?

Ali G: When dog find a bomb, how long does it take for it to diffuse it? ”

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- Ali G

Tags: Funny   |    Dog   |    Smell   |   



“ Democracy is very different in US and A from Kazakhstan. In America, woman can vote, but horse cannot! ”

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- Borat

Tags: Movie Funny Quotes   |   



“ As Admiral General Aladeen: "I love American films, particularly fantasy films like Lord of the Rings and Schindler's List." ”

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- Borat

Tags: Funny Movie Quotes   |   







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Spirituality Quotes

Compilation of the Best Spiritual quotes and saying recorded from renowned personalities. Motivate yourself to the meditation of your body and mind. Welcome to the pure dhyana Zen zone. Enjoy!

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The biggest collection of Motivational quotes on the Internet. Read on and feel the motivation within you

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The biggest collection of the best and the most witty, smart, epic, savage and funny comebacks ever for insults and trolls.





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Disturbingly lame questions and answers compiled in here. Enjoy!

Urdu Poetry in English

“Poetry can be dangerous, especially beautiful poetry, because it gives the illusion of having had the experience without actually going through it.” -Rumi The most popular short poems of Urdu Language by the legendary poets, translated into English language. Urdu is the language of love, art and literature. Here is a compilation of the short poems (shayari) from the greatest poets that the world has witnessed. From Mirza Ghalib, to Mir; as usual, curated the best of the best.

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The funny and the best Psychology quotes about personality, human behavior and mind





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Top 50 funny/cute Minion quotes about Work, Bananas, Friends, School and Exams.





Hugot Quotes in English

Hugot is a Filipino word which means "to draw or to pull out".

The trending #hugot is usually used as an excerpt from some song lyrics or as quotes where it signifies that the an emotion has been "drawn out" from a person.

#Hugot quotes have a deep philosophical and emotional undertones as the feelings expressed come deep from the heart; you've got to #hugot your emotions first, before you actually share them out with public.

A #hugot could also be said subconsciously and otherwise.

Hugot can somewhat be compared to "The Feels" in English.

Hugot Quotes Tags: Funny, Love, Life, Friendship, Hugot quotes for Crush and Work Life.

Technology Quotes

Enjoy reading the top rated technology quotes by the best gurus in tech space. Reading tech related quotes is one of the best ways to understand the deeper meaning of the technological terminology, and to learn the deeper insights with few lines of a quote.