Stanley Hudson Quotes
Here is a list of the Best Quotes of Stanley Hudson
1. The doctor said, if I can't find a new way to relate more positively to my surroundings, I'm going to die.
I'm going to die.
2. I do not like pregnant women in my workspace. They’re always complaining.
I have varicose veins, too.
I have swollen ankles.
I’m constantly hungry.
Do you think my nipples don’t get sore too?
Do you think I don’t need to know the fastest way to the hospital?
3. I have been trying to get on jury duty every year since I was 18 years old. To get to go sit it in an air conditioned room, downtown, judging people, while my lunch is paid for … that is the life.
4. Newsflash: You are not special.
5. DID I STUTTER?
6. It’s like I used to tell my wife. I do not apologize unless I think I’m wrong.
And if you don’t like it you can leave.
And I say the same thing to my current wife and I’ll say it to my next one, too.
7. If I don’t have some cake soon, I might die.
8. Yes, I have a dream, and it’s not some MLK dream for equality. I want to own a decommissioned lighthouse. And I want to live at the top. And nobody knows I live there. And there’s a button that I can press, and launch that lighthouse into space.
9. I wake up every morning in a bed that’s too small, drive my daughter to a school that’s too expensive, and then I go to work to a job for which I get paid too little.
But on pretzel day?
Well, I like pretzel day.