25 Famous Quotes of George Carlin with Images 📸🖼️

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Here is a list of the Best Quotes of George Carlin

George Carlin Quotes

George Carlin Quotes - The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.

1. The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.

- George Carlin


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Tags: Minion   |    Funny   |    Quotes that make you think   |   



George Carlin Quotes - Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than y

2. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

- George Carlin


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George Carlin Quotes - That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.

3. That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.

- George Carlin


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George Carlin Quotes - Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

4. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

- George Carlin


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George Carlin Quotes - Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask,

5. Some people see things that are and ask, Why?

Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not?

Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.

- George Carlin


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Tags: Short Quotes   |    Inspirational   |   

6. Now, there's one thing you might have noticed I don't complain about: politicians.

Everybody complains about politicians. Everybody says they suck.

Well, where do people think these politicians come from?
They don't fall out of the sky.
They don't pass through a membrane from another reality.

They come from American parents and American families, American homes, American schools, American churches, American businesses and American universities, and they are elected by American citizens.

This is the best we can do folks.
This is what we have to offer.
It's what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out.

If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're going to get selfish, ignorant leaders.
Term limits ain't going to do any good; you're just going to end up with a brand new bunch of selfish, ignorant Americans.

So, maybe, maybe, maybe, it's not the politicians who suck.
Maybe something else sucks around here... like, the public.
Yeah, the public sucks.
There's a nice campaign slogan for somebody:

'The Public Sucks. F*ck Hope.

- George Carlin


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Tags: Selfishness   |    Quotes that make you think   |    Ignorance   |   



George Carlin Quotes - Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their c

7. Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It’s because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.

- George Carlin


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Tags: Quotes that make you think   |   



8. Forget the politicians. The politicians are put there to give you the idea you have freedom of choice.

You don't.
You have no choice.
You have owners.
They own you.
They own everything.

They own all the important land, they own and control the corporations that've long since bought and paid for, the senate, the congress, the state houses, the city halls, they got the judges in their back pocket, and they own all the big media companies so they control just about all of the news and the information you get to hear. They got you by the balls.

They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying to get what they want. Well, we know what they want.

They want more for themselves and less for everybody else.

But I'll tell you what they don't want.

They don't want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking.They don't want well informed, well educated people capable of critical thinking.

They're not interested in that.
That doesn't help them.

- George Carlin


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Tags: Freedom   |    Quotes that make you think   |    Media   |    Billionaire   |   

George Carlin Quotes - Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reas

9. Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid.

And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.

- George Carlin


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Tags: Quotes that make you think   |    Stupid People   |    Men and Women   |    Crazy   |   

George Carlin Quotes - Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.

10. Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.

- George Carlin


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Tags: Fear   |    Death   |   



George Carlin Quotes - Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

11. Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

- George Carlin


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Tags: Life   |    Breathing   |    Shocked   |    Little Moments   |   

George Carlin Quotes - May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

12. May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

- George Carlin


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Tags: Evil   |    Wishes   |    House   |   

George Carlin Quotes - Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

13. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

- George Carlin


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Tags: Dont Worry   |    Small   |    Animals   |    All is Well   |   



George Carlin Quotes - Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.

14. Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.

- George Carlin


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Tags: Work Motivation   |    Work Life   |    Demotivational Work   |    Work Tip   |    Work Culture   |    Work Hard   |    Money   |    Quitting   |    Quotes that make you think   |   

George Carlin Quotes - People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't

15. People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.

- George Carlin


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Tags: I Dont Care   |    Overthinking   |    Self Esteem   |    Desperate   |    Your Opinion   |    Criticism   |   

George Carlin Quotes - Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is just like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwic

16. Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is just like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body

- George Carlin


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Tags: Happiness   |    Possession   |    Satisfaction   |    Hunger   |    Body   |    Stupid   |    Money   |    Quotes that make you think   |   



George Carlin Quotes - 1. The poor work and work 2. The rich exploit the poor 3. The police protect the rich 4. The taxpay

17. 1. The poor work and work
2. The rich exploit the poor
3. The police protect the rich
4. The taxpayer pays for all 3
5. The voter votes for all 4
6. The banker robs all 5
7. The lawyer misleads all 6
8. The doctor bills all 7
9. The undertaker buries all 8
10. The politician lives happily because of all of it

- George Carlin


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Tags: Poor   |    Demotivational Work   |    Rich   |    Exploitation   |    Police   |    Political   |    Tax   |    Voting   |    Banking   |    Lawyer   |    Law   |    Death   |    Quotes that make you think   |   

George Carlin Quotes - I got this real moron thing I do, it's called thinking. And I'm not a very good American because I lik

18. I got this real moron thing I do, it's called thinking. And I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions. I have certain rules I live by. My first rule, I don't believe anything the government tells me, and I don't take very seriously the media or the press in this country.

- George Carlin


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Tags: Moron   |    Thinking   |    America   |    Perspective   |    Understanding   |    Quotes that make you think   |    Rules   |    Believe   |    Trust   |    Government   |    Media   |    Political   |   

George Carlin Quotes - Advertising sells you things you don't need and can't afford, that are over priced and don't work. And

19. Advertising sells you things you don't need and can't afford, that are over priced and don't work. And they do it by exploiting your fears and insecurities. And if you don't have any, they'll be glad to give you a few.

- George Carlin


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Tags: Advertising   |    Sales   |    Possession   |    Insecurities   |    Fear   |    Exploitation   |    Quotes that make you think   |    Political   |    Mind Games   |    Psychology   |    Human Behavior   |   



George Carlin Quotes - if you have selfish ignorant citizens, you're gonna get selfish ignorant leaders.

20. if you have selfish ignorant citizens, you're gonna get selfish ignorant leaders.

- George Carlin


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Tags: Selfishness   |    Ignorance   |    Citizen   |    Political   |    Quotes that make you think   |    Ignorance   |   

George Carlin Quotes - Everyone smiles in the same language.

21. Everyone smiles in the same language.

- George Carlin


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Tags: Racism   |    Equality   |    Human Being   |    Language Barrier   |    Smile   |    Smile captions for Instagram   |    Humanity   |    Peace   |    Happiness   |    Happy   |   

George Carlin Quotes - War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower class men off to die.

22. War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower class men off to die. It always has been.

- George Carlin


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Tags: War   |    Rich   |    Money   |    Political   |    Protection   |    Property   |    Possession   |    Poor   |    Death   |    Loss   |    Quotes that make you think   |   



George Carlin Quotes - Governments don't want well informed, well educated people capable of critical thinking. That is again

23. Governments don't want well informed, well educated people capable of critical thinking. That is against their interests. They want obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. And just dumb enough to passively accept it.

- George Carlin


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Tags: Government   |    Education   |    Thinking   |    Interest   |    Rules   |    Planning   |    Strategy   |    Political   |    Quotes that make you think   |    Work Life   |    Demotivational Work   |    Smart   |    Dumbness   |    Stupid People   |    Citizen   |    Accept   |   

George Carlin Quotes - One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that 3 out of 4 murders are committed by

24. One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that 3 out of 4 murders are committed by people who know their victim.

- George Carlin


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Tags: Fake Friendship   |    Selfish Friends   |    Murder   |    Logic   |    Quotes that make you think   |    Victim   |    Haters   |    Jealousy   |    Backbiting   |   

George Carlin Quotes - Bullshit is the glue that binds us as a nation.

25. Bullshit is the glue that binds us as a nation.

- George Carlin


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Tags: Bullshit   |    Glue   |    Nation   |    Political   |    Funny   |    Sarcasm   |