23 Famous Quotes of Dr Margaret Rutherford with Images 📸🖼️
Dr Margaret Rutherford Quotes
Dr Margaret Rutherford is a Clinical Psychologist/Author/Podcaster. She has published a book called "Perfectly Hidden Depressions" and hosts a podcast called "SelfWork". I am a Fan of her work which has personally made me better and I have created my Favorite collection of Quotes from her podcasts and her books as a tribute to her.
Check out her Bestseller Book "Perfectly Hidden Depression" on Amazon.
1. You learn about anger in the family you grow up in; you watch and listen to the adults around you who model for you how and when to express it. And you learn that it can be respected, that it can be avoided, or that it can be abusive.
2. Sometimes, anger is really irritability. It’s about being in a bad mood, or waking up on the wrong side of the bed. Hopefully, you can recognize that before you do or say something you’ll regret.
3. Someone tells a demeaning joke, and you feel your skin crawl. Someone speeds through a stoplight, nearly missing a child, and you get angry. That’s a sign that a boundary has been crossed for you. Something important to you has been threatened, disregarded, or mocked.
4. Anger isn’t violent in and of itself. The power of anger can be respected, and voiced respectfully. You may have to wait until you’re not quite so mad and when your words can be calm.
5. The antidote to perfectionism is self-acceptance.
6. Some parents intentionally hurt and abuse - they absolutely know what they are doing. But some (obviously) do not.
7. Naming your critical voice or anxiety is not to get rid of it. It's to detach from it. To steal away some of it's power over you because it's not your voice. It's "Bob's" as I call mine.
8. Food and TV should not be your only source of enjoyment.
9. Perfectionists can talk about feelings, they can’t express feelings.
10. You don't reveal pain from the past because you can't stand the idea of being seen as vulnerable - then and now or you have convinced yourself that it didn't matter. That is a definite problem - in and of itself.
11. How To Safely Talk about Pain from Your Past
You have to remember that a therapist is trained to hear about trauma and knows how to respond. Your partner might not - they might get angry - not at you but for you. So you have to admit that you are very sensitive to their reaction and ask them to slow down and simply be with you in that moment.
12. For every 50 crying episodes that women do, Men only average 10.
13. How many times have I heard a couple argue about whether or not they're having enough sex. One will usually say I'm too exhausted. The other feels rejected. Both feel unappreciated and hurt.
14. Assuming that your partner is satisfied or isn't - with your sexual life - is a big mistake and is commonly made because so many of us feel funny about talking about sex. But I promise you the assumptions are gonna kill ya!
15. Now that you've been together a few years - you can relapse into only talking about the kids or your To-do list. And that is awful for the relationship.
16. Boundaries in relationships can be much more difficult to create and honor. And if its a boundary that someone does not inherently wants or understands - then there maybe huge problems because that boundary can just be crossed again and again.
17. when you define your limits or your boundaries, you are also being specific about your values.
18. If you are in an abusive relationship, establishing boundaries may not be possible, as assertiveness in sharing your boundaries may not be even safe. And because the other person has a distinct agenda of controlling or even hurting you - you'll just get laughed at - if you try to voice your limits.You may need to consider leaving that relationship safely.
19. What you don't wanna do is assume that you know the boundaries of someone else - when truly - you don't.
20. Voicing a limit or a boundary is not the same as a demand. It's telling someone what you prefer, where you stand on something. You are not demanding anything, or telling them they are wrong. You are just asserting your own values, your desires or your limits.
21. When we meet someone and begin to discover who they are or what makes them tick, what disappoints them, what pleases them - they are giving you information about their limits - whether or not they call it that or not. Their Values. And you are doing the same thing.
22. Sometimes boundaries are forgotten. Sometimes it takes some effort to change, and new boundaries are forgotten. So then, you need to apologize and renew your commitment.
23. Sometimes the boundaries need reinforcing from time to time. This may sound like a parent-child relationship - and it is that way. But we are not doing it in an authoritarian way, we are doing it in a friendly, supportive way. But we are also being assertive about our boundaries being understood and respected.