You can't photoshop personality.

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Savage Comebacks Quotes

1. You can't photoshop personality.


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Tags: Savage Comebacks   |    Personality   |    Photoshop   |   



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2. Whenever I'm about to do something, I think,

'Would an idiot do that?' and if they would,

I do not do that thing.

- Dwight Schrute


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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Idiot   |    Sarcastic   |    Thinking   |    Savage Comebacks   |    The Office   |    Do Something   |   

3. Close your mouth, sweetie.

You look like a trout.

- Phyllis Lapin Vance


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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Savage Comebacks   |    The Office   |    Shut Up   |   

4. Who cares for your beauty if your tongue is ugly.


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Tags: Beauty   |    Savage Comebacks   |    Tongue   |    Ugly   |    Ugly Girl   |   



5. You can't photoshop personality.


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Tags: Savage Comebacks   |    Personality   |    Photoshop   |   

6. Congratulations on your ability to create drama out of absolutely nothing.


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Tags: Savage Comebacks   |    Drama   |   



7. I didn’t mean to push your buttons. I was just looking for mute.


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Tags: Savage Comebacks   |    Drama   |   



8. You do realize that people just tolerate you?


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Tags: Savage Comebacks   |    Tolerance   |   

9. Whoever told you to be yourself gave you really bad advice!


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Tags: Savage Comebacks   |    Be Yourself   |   

10. I hope one day, you choke on the shit you talk.


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Tags: Savage Comebacks   |    Racism   |   



11. I'm not a nerd. I'm just smarter than you.


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Tags: Savage Comebacks   |    Nerdy   |   

12. You're Weird!

Thanks! Normal is boring.


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Tags: Savage Comebacks   |    Weird   |    Boring   |   

13. Get a Life!

You mean like yours? No thanks, I'll pass.


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Tags: Savage Comebacks   |   



14. Please unsubscribe me from your newsletter.


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Tags: Savage Comebacks   |    Unsolicited Advice   |    Mind Your Own Business   |   

15. Do yourself a favor and ignore anyone who tells you to be yourself. Bad idea in your case.


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Tags: Savage Comebacks   |    Be Yourself   |    Bad Idea   |   

16. There are some remarkably dumb people in this world. Thanks for helping me understand that.


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Tags: Savage Comebacks   |    Dumbness   |   



17. I believed in evolution until I met you.


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Tags: Savage Comebacks   |    Evolution   |   

18. Why aren't you married yet?

I'm just lucky I guess!


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Tags: Savage Comebacks   |    Marriage   |   

19. Don't you get tired of putting makeup on two faces every morning?


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Tags: Two Faced People   |    Savage Comebacks   |   



20. Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parent’s job.


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Tags: Savage Comebacks   |    Be Yourself   |   

21. You're Ugly

Why are you talking to a mirror?


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Tags: Savage Comebacks   |   

22. Racist Joke? Coming from a face only a mother could love?


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Tags: Savage Comebacks   |    Racism   |   



23. obviously you haven’t been looking in the mirror (HAHAHA)


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Tags: Savage Comebacks   |   

24. Our time together has just become more effort than you’re worth.


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Tags: Savage Comebacks   |    Not Worth It   |    Waste of Time   |   

25. keep your opinions to yourself


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Tags: Savage Comebacks   |    Your Opinion   |   



26. Well you are worse than i thought


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Tags: Savage Comebacks   |   

27. I'm sorry am I supposed to care?


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Tags: Sassy   |    Savage Comebacks   |   

28. You are an idiot slash stupid


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Tags: Savage Comebacks   |    Idiot   |    Stupid People   |   



29. You really do live in your own little world don't you?

- Chandler Bing


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Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    FRIENDS TV Show   |    Sarcastic   |    Savage Comebacks   |   

30. Why do I bother talking to you people!?

If it’ll make u feel better we rarely listen…


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31. You really have all the answers don't you?


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32. it's called manners jerk!


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Tags: Savage Comebacks   |   

33. If you ran like your mouth, you’d be in good shape.


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Tags: Savage Comebacks   |    Talking Too Much   |    Overweight   |   

34. Kevin: I could kill you if I wanted to, Snow.
Cecil: Yeah? So could another human being.
Kevin:
Cecil: So could a dog.
Kevin:
Cecil: So could a dedicated duck.
Kevin:
Cecil: You aren't special, Kevin.


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Tags: Incorrect   |    Threatening   |    Savage Comebacks   |    You Are Not Special   |    Snow   |   



35. Klaus: Hey, Do you think I could fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?
Five: You're a hazard to society.
Ben: And a coward. Do 20.


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Tags: Incorrect   |    Savage Comebacks   |    Marshmallow   |    Hazard   |    Coward   |   

36. Shiromori: How Tall are you?

Mystery: Height is a social construct.

Shiromori: So you'reshort.


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Tags: Incorrect   |    Savage Comebacks   |    Self Esteem   |    Tall   |   

37. Hoseok: why do you watch so much murder stuff?
Yoongi: just in case you slip up.


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Tags: Incorrect   |    Murder   |    Funny   |    Conversation   |    Savage Comebacks   |    Quotes that will make you cry   |   



38. Light: i have feelings for you
Misa: you do?
Light: yes. i feel you're a little bit annoying


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Tags: Incorrect   |    Feelings   |    Funny   |    Savage Comebacks   |    Quotes that will make you cry   |   

39. Gyro: alright so you and I are married
Johnny: we are not married
Gyro: it's a pretend.
Johnny: I don't wanna pretend
Gyro: scared you'll like it?
Johnny: okay if we're married, I want a divorce.
Diego: Are you two like this all the time?
Hot Pants: yes, they are.


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Tags: Incorrect   |    Marriage   |    Funny   |    Savage Comebacks   |    Pretending   |    Hypothetical   |    Divorce   |    Quotes that will make you cry   |   

40. Hephaestus: Sorry mom, called you by accident

Hera: No worries. Had you on accident


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Tags: Incorrect   |    Funny   |    Savage Comebacks   |    Call Your Mom   |    Quotes that will make you cry   |   



41. A: You think you're smarter than everyone else.
B: I don't think I'm smarter than everyone else. I know I am.


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Tags: Incorrect   |    Funny   |    Savage Comebacks   |    Cocky   |    Smart   |    Trying To Be Smart   |    Quotes that will make you cry   |   

42. A: Can you be quiet?! I'm trying to think.
B: Don't worry. Doing anything for the first time is difficult.


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Tags: Incorrect   |    Funny   |    Annoyingly Funny   |    Quiet   |    Rude   |    Savage Comebacks   |    Blunt   |    Quotes that will make you cry   |   

43. Words cannot express how much I don't care.


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Tags: I Dont Care   |    Careless   |    Funny   |    Savage Comebacks   |   



44. WHEN A MAN STEALS YOUR WIFE, THERE IS NO BETTER REVENGE THAN TO LET HIM KEEP HER.

- Sacha Guitry


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Tags: Funny Cheating   |    Cheating   |    Savage Comebacks   |   

45. If I swallow scrabble pieces and barf it out, that would still make a better statement than what you speak.


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Tags: Savage Comebacks   |    Girl Power   |    Instagram captions for Girls   |   

46. Is it remotely possible for you to carry on a conversation that's not loaded down with manure?

- Susan Elizabeth Phillips


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Tags: Bullshit   |    Savage Comebacks   |    Liar   |    Sarcastic   |    Conversation   |   



47. I wonder if you can taste the bullsh*t that's coming out of your mouth.

- Habeeb Akande


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Tags: Bullshit   |    Taste   |    Savage Comebacks   |    Sassy   |    Sarcasm   |   

48. Girl: I'm watching Beauty & the Beast. If you were a Beast, I'd still love you.

Boy: :)
Boy: And if you were a Beauty, I'd still love you.


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Tags: Savage Comebacks   |    Beauty   |    Beast   |    Rude   |    Demeaning   |   

49. Stupidity is not a crime. It it is, you'll end up in jail.


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Tags: Funny Jail   |    Savage Comebacks   |    Crime   |    Stupid People   |    Stupid   |   



50. My friend, remember that without stupidity there wouldn't be intelligence, and without ugliness there wouldn't be beauty, so the world needs you after all.


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Tags: Savage Comebacks   |    Sassy   |    Rude   |    Intelligence   |   

51. Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.


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Tags: Savage Comebacks   |    Makeup   |    Beauty   |    Ugly   |    Mean   |    Rude   |    Sassy   |    Funny Life   |   

52. Did you just fall?

No, I was checking if gravity still works.


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Tags: Sarcastic   |    Sarcasm   |    Joke   |    Savage Comebacks   |    Sassy   |   



53. If I wanted to kill myself I would climb up to the top of your ego and jump to your IQ


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Tags: Funny   |    Sassy   |    Savage Comebacks   |    Kill   |    Suicide   |    Ego   |    Dumbness   |   

54. Wife: I have changed my mind.
Husband: Does the new one work?


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Tags: Funny Wife   |    Savage Comebacks   |    Sarcastic   |    Conversation   |    Question   |    Sassy   |    Burn   |   

55. A businessman was having a tough time lugging his lumpy, oversized travel bag onto the plane. Helped by a flight attendant, he finally managed to stuff it in the overhead bin.
“Do you always carry such heavy luggage?” she sighed.
“No more,” the man said. “Next time, I’m riding in the bag, and my partner can buy the ticket!”


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Tags: Airplane Puns   |    Savage Comebacks   |   



56. Oh you’re talking to me, I thought you only talked behind my back.


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Tags: Backbiting   |    Savage Comebacks   |    Gossip   |   

57. I was going to give you a nasty look, but I see you already have one.


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Tags: Savage Comebacks   |    Ugly   |    Ugly Girl   |   

58. Of course I talk like an idiot. How else could you understand me?


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Tags: Savage Comebacks   |    Idiot   |    Fool   |    Intelligence   |   



59. Even if I didn't have standards, you will still be below my standards.


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Tags: Standards   |    Savage Comebacks   |    Sassy   |    Slang   |    Kick Rocks   |   

60. So you want me to change who I am?


No, I just want you to hide who you are.


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Tags: Savage Comebacks   |    Funny   |    TV Show Quotes   |   

61. Someday you'll find yourself, and will you be disappointed.


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Tags: Savage Comebacks   |    Finding Yourself   |   



62. Mirrors can't talk. Luckily for you, they can't laugh either.


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Tags: Savage Comebacks   |    Mirror   |    Ugly   |   

63. Do you want people to accept you as you are or do you want them to like you?


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Tags: Savage Comebacks   |    Dislike   |   

64. If you have something to say, raise your hand and place it over your mouth.


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Tags: Shut Up   |    Savage Comebacks   |    Say What   |    Saying No   |   



65. You're a person of rare intelligence. It's rare when you show any.


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