Why did the banana go to the barbers? Because it had split en ...

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1. Why did the banana go to the barbers?
Because it had split ends!


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2. Why don’t bananas snore?
Because they don’t want to wake up the rest of the bunch.


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3. Why do bananas have to wear sunscreen?

Because they peel.


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4. What do bananas say when they answer the phone?
Yellow.


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5. How is a banana peel on the floor like music?
Because if you don’t C sharp you’ll B flat.


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6. What kind of a key opens a banana?
A monkey.


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7. Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn't PEELING well.


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8. Why did they cancel the ice cream social?
The banana split with the ice cream.


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9. What fruit do sheeps like the most?
Baaaaa-nanas.


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10. Where do bananas buy their clothes?
Banana Republic.


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11. Why are bananas never lonely?
Because they hang around in bunches.


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12. How did the baby banana become so spoiled?
Mama banana left him out in the sun for too long.


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13. These banana puns are making me peel unwell.


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14. Why did the banana go to the barbers?
Because it had split ends!


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15. What do you call a fruit that's in charge of the company?
The top banana.


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16. What's yellow on the inside and green on the outside?
A banana disguised as a cucumber!


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17. What would you do if you saw a blue banana?
Try to cheer it up.


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18. What kind of a key can open a banana?
A monkey!


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19. What's worst than a chimp eating bananas?
A chimp going bananas!


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20. What is yellow and always points to the north?
It's a magnetic banana.


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21. What did the Banana say to the therapist?
"All I PEEL is pain."


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22. Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a Banana.


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23. By hearing your suggestion, I’m peeling better now.


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24. Let me peel this moment!


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25. She is the ripe one for you.


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26. Life is full of banana skins. You slip, you carry on.

- Daphne Guinness


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27. Any ape can reach for a banana, but only humans can reach for the stars.

- Vilayanur S Ramachandran


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28. Intellectual property has the shelf life of a banana.

- Bill Gates


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29. Q: What is the hippest kind of fruit?
A: A bae-nae-nae.


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30. Q: What made the banana such a smoothie ?
A: Yogurt!


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31. I'm Bananas for you. Let's never split.


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