What you don't wanna do is assume that you know the boundaries ...
Crossing the Line Quotes
1. What you don't wanna do is assume that you know the boundaries of someone else - when truly - you don't.
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2. Boundaries in relationships can be much more difficult to create and honor. And if its a boundary that someone does not inherently wants or understands - then there maybe huge problems because that boundary can just be crossed again and again.
By definition, a boundary is anything that marks a limit. Psychological limits define personal dignity. When we say, “You just crossed a line,” we are speaking about a psychological limit that marks the distinction between behavior that does not cause emotional harm and behavior that causes emotional harm.
4. when you define your limits or your boundaries, you are also being specific about your values.
5. If you are in an abusive relationship, establishing boundaries may not be possible, as assertiveness in sharing your boundaries may not be even safe. And because the other person has a distinct agenda of controlling or even hurting you - you'll just get laughed at - if you try to voice your limits.You may need to consider leaving that relationship safely.
6. What you don't wanna do is assume that you know the boundaries of someone else - when truly - you don't.
7. Voicing a limit or a boundary is not the same as a demand. It's telling someone what you prefer, where you stand on something. You are not demanding anything, or telling them they are wrong. You are just asserting your own values, your desires or your limits.
8. When we meet someone and begin to discover who they are or what makes them tick, what disappoints them, what pleases them - they are giving you information about their limits - whether or not they call it that or not. Their Values. And you are doing the same thing.
9. Sometimes boundaries are forgotten. Sometimes it takes some effort to change, and new boundaries are forgotten. So then, you need to apologize and renew your commitment.
10. Sometimes the boundaries need reinforcing from time to time. This may sound like a parent-child relationship - and it is that way. But we are not doing it in an authoritarian way, we are doing it in a friendly, supportive way. But we are also being assertive about our boundaries being understood and respected.
11. Givers have to set limits because takers rarely do.
12. A lot of things that we think our spouse or kids “should” do, the ability to self-regulate, be motivated, respectful, and complying by the boundaries and rules - all of those things are skills.
They are struggling, and they need skills and you are there to coach them, not be angry at them every time they have a slip up or say something that trigger you.
Compassion will just come naturally.