We both said 'I Do' and we haven't agreed on a single thing si ...
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Funny Marriage Quotes
1. We both said 'I Do' and we haven't agreed on a single thing since.


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2. If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.


Tags: Funny Wife | Funny Marriage |
3. Marriage is like a walk in the park... Jurassic Park.


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4. Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.


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5. Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.


Tags: Funny Marriage | Marriage |
6. My wife, Mary, and I have been married for forty-seven years, and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.


Tags: Funny Marriage | Marriage Story | Marriage | Murder | Divorce | Sarcastic | Consideration |

7. Marriage is a bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.


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8. A good marriage is one where each partner secretly suspects they got the better deal.


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9. Marriage is like vitamins: We supplement each other’s minimum daily requirements.


Tags: Funny Marriage | Vitamin | Supportive | Needs |
10. The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it.


Tags: Mind Games | Funny Marriage | Reverse Psychology | Psychology | Self Esteem | Insecurities | Validation | Approval |
11. The most important four words for a successful marriage: I’ll do the dishes.


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12. Marriage is not just spiritual communion and passionate embraces; Marriage is also three-meals-a-day and remembering to carry the trash out.


Tags: Marriage | Funny Marriage | Spirituality | Responsibility |
13. Before I got married I had six theories about raising children; now I have six children and no theories.


Tags: Funny Marriage | Irony | Hypothetical | Planning |
14. I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.


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15. Marriage is an attempt to solve problems together which you didn’t even have when you were on your own.


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16. If you want to know how your girl will treat you after marriage, just listen to her talking to her little brother.


Tags: Funny Marriage | Psychology |
17. Many people spend more time in planning the wedding than they do in planning the marriage.


Tags: Funny Marriage | Marriage | Planning | Perspective | Bigger Picture | Relationship Goals |
18. Marriage: sometimes soulmates, sometimes cellmates.


Tags: Funny Marriage | Soulmate | Prison |
19. When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there’s a reason.


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20. A man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.


Tags: Funny Marriage | Beauty | Character | Decision | Bigger Picture | Perspective | Logic |
21. Never laugh at your wife's choices. You are one of them.


Tags: Funny Wife | Funny Marriage | Choices | Judgemental |
22. We both said 'I Do' and we haven't agreed on a single thing since.


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23. You know you are in a very happy marriage when the person still gives you the same feelings you get when you see your food coming at a restaurant.


Tags: Love | Funny Love | Marriage | Funny Marriage |
24. What did the two coffee enthusiasts say when they got married? We’re meant to bean together!


Tags: Coffee Puns | Funny Marriage | Love Puns | Bean Puns |