Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation ...
Annoyingly Funny Quotes
1. Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. – I gave him a glass of water.
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2. I don't know if you know this, but dolphins ain't fish. They is like us, they is mammaries.
- Ali G
3. What is the different types of hasch out there? We all know that it's called the bionic, the bomb, the puff, the blow, the black, the herb, the sensie, the cronic, the sweet Mary Jane, the shit, Ganja, split, reefa, the bad, the buddha, the home grown, the ill, the maui-maui, the method, pot, lethal turbo, tie, shake, skunk, stress, whacky, weed, glaze, the boot, dimebag, Scooby Doo, bob, bogey, back yard boogie. But what is the other terms for it
- Ali G
4. Oh, it is on, like a prawn who yawns at dawn.
5. No, I’m not going to tell them about the downsizing. If a patient has cancer, you don’t tell them.
6. The people here are amazing debaters. I guess you can say they are master-baters.
7. Hiccup: I can't believe we are stuck in this room together.
Dagur, swallowing the key: truly unfortunate.
8. A: So what do you have planned for the future?
A: No, like long term.
B: Oh...um, dinner?
9. A: Can you be quiet?! I'm trying to think.
B: Don't worry. Doing anything for the first time is difficult.
10. A: I trusted you!
11. A, texting B: A theif.
B: I before E except after C.
12. my love for you is like diarrhea - i just can't hold it in
13. A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I Win!" and drove off.
14. Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. – I gave him a glass of water.
15. How to fall down stairs Step 1 Step 2 Step 6,7,8,9,10
Tags: Annoyingly Funny |
16. The three unwritten rules of life:
17. Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, “What kind of music do you like?”
– The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
18. Why doesn’t the Sun go to college? – Because it has a million degrees.
19. My friend said, "What rhymes with banana?"
I replied: "No it doesn't".
20. What's yellow on the inside and green on the outside?
A banana disguised as a cucumber!
21. What did the banana say to the chimpanzee?
Nothing, bananas don't talk!
22. A neighbour told me he spotted a lion recently. I told him that if it was spotted, it was more likely a leopard…
23. Q. What’s green, wrinkly and has a long nose?
A. An elephant. I lied about the green part.
24. A Winter Poem...
Shit, it's cold.
25. Have you ever just looked at someone, and automatically felt annoyed?
26. How can I put this… imagine if the Holocaust happened every four years like the Olympics. I would rather THAT happen than your rock opera.