The gain for the victim is in the fact that he can get people ...
1. The gain for the victim is in the fact that he can get people to stay and take care of him — for who could ever really leave the poor victim without feeling terribly guilty. In this way, victims often bully others into all kinds of care-giving, running the gamut from providing financially for poor victim, to literally making all of his choices for him. The victim typically knows exactly what buttons to push in others to get them to begin or continue to take care of him. Indeed, quite often the bully identity lurches backward into his shadowed victim identity, as a means of justifying his abuse of others.
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2. Selfish people also tend to have victim mindsets… Their actions plant seeds of loneliness; then they cry upon the blooming.
3. One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that 3 out of 4 murders are committed by people who know their victim.
4. Guilt Trip
A special kind of manipulation tactic. A manipulator suggests to the conscientious victim that he or she does not care enough, is too selfish or has it easy. This usually results in victim feeling bad, keeping them in self-doubt, anxious and submissive position.
5. Tangible or material bullying: Using one’s formal power (i.e. title or position) or material leverage (i.e. financial, informational, or legal) as forms of intimidation, threat, harassment, and/or harm. In these scenarios, the bully uses his or her advantage in stature and/or resources to dominate and control the victim.
6. Many bullies are also cowards: When their victims begin to show backbone and stand up for their rights, a bully will often back down. This is true in schoolyards, as well as in domestic and office environments.
7. People who take advantage of others are always the ones that play victim, are unaware or claim to forget, and have excuses for everything. They put you in a situation that you have to work on their behalf.
8. Taking Advantage Tactic #3
Denial. Refusing to admit they’ve said or done something, which can make you begin doubting yourself.
9. Taking Advantage Tactic #8
Playing the Victim. Using exaggerated complaints about their hardships to make you feel sorry for them so they get what they want.
10. It’s not winning the fight that victims wish for. All they want is to stop being the victim. They just don’t want to be victimized.
11. To those who abuse: the sin is yours, the crime is yours, and the shame is yours. To those who protect the perpetrators: blaming the victims only masks the evil within, making you as guilty as those who abuse. Stand up for the innocent or go down with the rest.
12. Capable, generous men do not create victims, they nurture victims.
13. To my abusers: I forgive you.
14. Violence is often the reflection of itself, and terrorism becomes the manifestation of anger in its victims.
15. The accused were considered guilty unless proven innocent.
16. The young are the silent carriers of COVID-19 and the older generation are the victims.
17. The belief systems of the person with a victim identity fall along these lines:
1. Life is really, really hard.
2. Don't get up, you'll just get kicked back down again.
3. Beware, always beware of trickery; it's around every corner.
4. You can't trust anyone.
5. I can't.
7. You just don't understand how hard it is for me.
8. Everyone is always picking on me.
9. "They" are always bigger, badder and smarter than me.
18. The victim will definitely complain and even whine to others about how hard life is. But if anyone ever offers him some options for changing that life, the victim classically comes back with a long list of "Yes, buts." If we ever have the heart and temerity to confront him with this fact, he is liable to begin to cry and tell us repeatedly that we just don't understand how hard it is for him. Life is just harder for him than others—he doesn't know why—but it is. He may attach all kinds of rationales for that statement, but the truth is that he must keep believing that life is hard, or it might just get a whole lot harder.
19. The gain for the victim is in the fact that he can get people to stay and take care of him — for who could ever really leave the poor victim without feeling terribly guilty. In this way, victims often bully others into all kinds of care-giving, running the gamut from providing financially for poor victim, to literally making all of his choices for him. The victim typically knows exactly what buttons to push in others to get them to begin or continue to take care of him. Indeed, quite often the bully identity lurches backward into his shadowed victim identity, as a means of justifying his abuse of others.
20. People with Victim Identity attract bullies as their partners. Bully looks for those who he can take advantage of, and the victim believes that life is meant to be harder. A victim does not want to take responsibility of their own life from fear that thing might get a whole lot harder.
21. Gaslighting is a manipulation tool used by many to gain control over you, and get you to believe what they want you to believe while they abuse you and enjoy their power.
Victims can start to have self-esteem issues, self-doubt, feeling inadequate, stupid, unworthy, confused and a need to please everyone,