so you two are together now... my condolences to both of you.

Home > Quotes > so you two are together now... my condolences to both of you.

Sarcastic Quotes

1. so you two are together now... my condolences to both of you.


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Sarcastic   |    Relationship   |   



Explore More Quotes

2. One day Michael came in and complained about a speed bump on the highway. I wonder who he ran over then.

- Jim Halpert


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Sarcastic   |    The Office   |    Speed Bump   |    Highway   |   

3. Sorry I annoyed you with my friendship.

- Andy Bernard


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Sarcastic   |    Fake Friendship   |    The Office   |    Ungrateful   |    Thankless   |   

4. Whenever I'm about to do something, I think,

'Would an idiot do that?' and if they would,

I do not do that thing.

- Dwight Schrute


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Idiot   |    Sarcastic   |    Thinking   |    Savage Comebacks   |    The Office   |    Do Something   |   



5. I’m not a millionaire.

I thought I would be by the time I was 30, but I wasn’t even close.

Then I thought maybe by 40, but by 40 I had less money than I did when I was 30.

- Michael Scott


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Money   |    Sarcastic   |    The Office   |    Millionaire   |    Time   |    Turning 30   |    Turning 40   |    Less Money   |   

6. Why are you the way that you are?

- Michael Scott


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Burn   |    TV Show Quotes   |    Sarcastic   |    The Office   |    Oh God Why   |   



7. Look, it doesn’t take a genius to know that every organization thrives when it has two leaders. Go ahead, name a country that doesn’t have two presidents. A boat that sets sail without two captains. Where would Catholicism be without the popes?

- Oscar Martinez


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Sarcastic   |    The Office   |    Genius   |    Sailor   |    Ship   |   



8. Last year, Creed asked me how to set up a blog. Wanting to protect the world from being exposed to Creed’s brain, I opened up a Word document on his computer and put an address at the top.

I’ve read some of it.

Even for the Internet, it’s… pretty shocking.

- Ryan Howard


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Sarcastic   |    Blogging   |    Fool   |    The Office   |    Internet   |    Shocking   |   

9. I had a great summer. I got west nile virus, lost a ton of weight. Then I went back to the lake. And I stepped on a piece of glass in the parking lot, which hurt. That got infected. Even though I peed on it...

- Michael Scott


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Sarcastic   |    Things Getting Worse   |    Dumbness   |    The Office   |    Summer   |    Unaware   |   

10. Kelly: If I was you, I would just like, freak out and get really drunk, and then tell someone I was pregnant.

Pam: Okay, that's a lot of good ideas. Thanks.

- Pam Beesly


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Drama   |    Sarcastic   |    Good Ideas   |    The Office   |    Thanks   |   



11. InshaAllah (noun):


A Magical land where 99% of all promises, presence and punctuality is stored.


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Sarcastic   |    Promise   |    Funny Muslim Memes and Quotes   |    Inshallah   |    Punctuality   |    Magical Land   |    Quotes that will make you cry   |   

12. I'm sarcastic because punching people is so Haraam.


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Sarcastic   |    Haram   |    Annoying People   |    Funny Muslim Memes and Quotes   |    Quotes that will make you cry   |   

13. Some women have mood swings... others have mood theme parks.


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Mood Swings   |    Sarcastic   |    Theme Park   |   



14. You really do live in your own little world don't you?

- Chandler Bing


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    FRIENDS TV Show   |    Sarcastic   |    Savage Comebacks   |   

15. the quickest way to a man's heart is through 4th and 5th ribs


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Incorrect   |    Funny   |    Quick   |    Sarcastic   |    Quotes that will make you cry   |   

16. A: [B], we tried things your way.
B: No, we didn't.
A: I did it in my head and it didn't work.


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Incorrect   |    Funny   |    Conversation   |    Sarcastic   |    Quotes that will make you cry   |   



17. A: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Incorrect   |    Oops   |    Blood   |    Dumbness   |    Sarcastic   |   

18. A: So what do you have planned for the future?
B: Lunch.
A: No, like long term.
B: Oh...um, dinner?


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Incorrect   |    Funny   |    Annoyingly Funny   |    Sarcastic   |    Conversation   |    Quotes that will make you cry   |   

19. Men cooking...
Because the last generation of mothers didn't teach their daughters shit


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Men Cooking   |    Funny Memes   |    Generation Gap   |    Judgemental   |    Sarcastic   |   



20. I can't believe this - both of my boyfriends are cheating on me.


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Cheating   |    Funny Cheating   |    Sarcastic   |    Hypocrisy   |    Funny Double Standard   |   

21. Is it remotely possible for you to carry on a conversation that's not loaded down with manure?

- Susan Elizabeth Phillips


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Bullshit   |    Savage Comebacks   |    Liar   |    Sarcastic   |    Conversation   |   

22. Did you just fall?

No, I was checking if gravity still works.


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Sarcastic   |    Sarcasm   |    Joke   |    Savage Comebacks   |    Sassy   |   



23. My wife, Mary, and I have been married for forty-seven years, and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.

- Jack Benny


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Funny Marriage   |    Marriage Story   |    Marriage   |    Murder   |    Divorce   |    Sarcastic   |    Consideration   |    Seriousness   |   

24. Wife: I have changed my mind.
Husband: Does the new one work?


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Funny Wife   |    Savage Comebacks   |    Sarcastic   |    Conversation   |    Question   |    Sassy   |    Burn   |   

25. My friend said, "What rhymes with banana?"
I replied: "No it doesn't".


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Lame Questions Answers   |    Annoyingly Funny   |    Smart   |    Sarcastic   |   



26. When you wish upon a star...
you're actually a few million years late.

The star is dead.

Just like your dreams.


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Dark   |    Dark Jokes   |    Sarcastic   |    Stars   |    Dream   |    Funny   |   

27. Silly me!

I never realized it's one rule for you and a completely different rule for me.


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Funny Double Standard   |    Sarcastic   |    Arguments   |   

28. Oh, how double standard of you.


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Funny Double Standard   |    Sarcastic   |   



29. To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.

- Elbert Hubbard


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Criticism   |    Nothing To Lose   |    Nothing to Prove   |    Nothing   |    Sarcastic   |   

30. I hope you lose weight so there will be less of you.


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Savage Comebacks   |    Insulting   |    Weight Loss   |    Irritated   |    Sarcastic   |   

31. I can only explain it to you. I cannot understand it for you.


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Savage Comebacks   |    Understanding   |    Dumbness   |    Basic   |    Explanation   |    Sarcastic   |   



32. I don’t know how that’s a good thing, but ok.


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Comeback   |    Sarcastic   |   

33. Well you obviously have a theory so why don’t YOU tell me.


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Sarcastic   |    Opinion   |   

34. I am learning so much from you. Thank you. I never thought of that.


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Learning   |    Sarcastic   |    Obvious   |    Stupid   |   



35. That was an attempted humor.


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Sense Of Humor   |    Sarcastic   |   

36. so you two are together now... my condolences to both of you.


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Sarcastic   |    Relationship   |   

37. Seems like the only logical solution.


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Sarcastic   |   



38. You seem very determined to dislike me.


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Sarcastic   |    Opinion   |    Judgemental   |    Dislike   |   

39. Thank you. I feel much better.


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Sarcastic   |   

40. You just made a surprising amount of sense.


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Sarcastic   |    Dumbness   |    Stupid People   |   



41. You don’t give a monkey a gun.


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Monkey   |    Gun   |    Sarcastic   |    Crazy   |    Stupid People   |   

42. That is a bit disturbing- on a couple of levels.


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Sarcastic   |    Disturbing   |   

43. You’re not helping


I’m not trying to.


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Sarcastic   |    Self Help   |   



44. Right, that’s not weird at all.


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Sarcastic   |    Weird   |   

45. Shall we commence the awkward car ride back home?


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Sarcastic   |   

46. I have found the least funny person on the entire planet.


  whatsapp twitter ReadBeach Instagram    

Tags: Sense Of Humor   |    Sarcastic   |