People, generally, suck.
Funny Quotes
1. People, generally, suck.
Tags: Funny | Life | Minion | Quotes that will make you cry |
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2. Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
Tags: Minion | Funny | Quotes that will make you cry | Universe |
3. I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.
Tags: Minion | Funny | Quotes that will make you cry |
4. Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
Tags: Spirituality | Funny | Quotes that will make you cry |
5. Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
Tags: Minion | Funny | Quotes that will make you cry |
6. The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
Tags: Minion | Funny | Quotes that make you think |
7. I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
Tags: Minion | Funny | Quotes that will make you cry |
8. I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer
Tags: Minion | Funny | Quotes that will make you cry |
9. When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, "Why god? Why me?" and the thundering voice of God answered, There's just something about you that pisses me off.
Tags: Minion | Funny | Quotes that will make you cry | Thunder |
10. I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
Tags: Minion | Funny | Quotes that will make you cry |
11. It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them!
Tags: Minion | Funny | Quotes that will make you cry |
12. “Mom says it's because she has PMS. Do you even know what that means? "I'm not a little kid anymore. It means pissed-at- men syndrome”
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Tags: Minion | Funny | Quotes that will make you cry |
13. If cats looked like frogs we'd realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Style. That's what people remember.
Tags: Minion | Funny | Quotes that will make you cry | Frog Puns |
14. Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
Tags: Minion | Funny | Quotes that will make you cry | Deja Vu |
15. Few People are alive just because killing is illegal.
Tags: Minion | Funny | Quotes that will make you cry |
16. I’m jealous of all the people that haven’t met you!
Tags: Jealousy | Funny | Haters |
17. Your inappropriateness knows no boundaries.
Tags: Inappropriate | Funny | Dumbness |
18. What do u call a woman in heaven?
An Angel.
A crowd of woman in heaven?
A host of Angels.
And all woman in heaven?
PEACE ON EARTH!
Tags: Angel | Peace | Funny | Funny Marriage |
19. I am patient with stupidity, but not with those who are proud of it.
Tags: Minion | Funny | Quotes that will make you cry |
20. There are only two things in life that come without effort - failure and dandruff.
Tags: Failure | Funny | Quotes that will make you cry |
21. Just fight all your natural instincts and you will be great.
Tags: TV Show Quotes | Funny | Quotes that will make you cry |
22. Falling in love is a secret ambition, finding true love is the greatest tension, So follow the oldest tradition, And marry your parent's decision.
Tags: Love | Funny | Quotes that will make you cry | Traditions |
23. Food is the only beautiful thing that nourishes.
Tags: Minion | Funny | Quotes that will make you cry |
24. Birthdays are a scam. They were invented by Hallmarks to sell cards.
Tags: TV Show Quotes | Funny | Quotes that will make you cry | Invention |
25. Every now and then I like to do as I'm told, just to confuse people.
Tags: Minion | Funny | Quotes that will make you cry |
26. There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.
Tags: Funny | Hugot Lines in English | Minion | Meaningful | Quotes that will make you cry |
27. I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.
Tags: Minion | Tasteful | Funny | Quotes that will make you cry |
28. Black holes are where God divided by zero.
Tags: Science | Funny | Quotes that will make you cry |
29. Why do people say "grow some balls"? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.
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Tags: Minion | Funny | Quotes that will make you cry |
30. I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.
Tags: Love | Funny | Quotes that will make you cry |
31. Of course motivation is not permanent. But then, neither is bathing; but it is something you should do on a regular basis.
Tags: Funny | Life | Minion | Believe in Yourself | Motivational | Quotes that will make you cry |
32. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the heck she is.
Tags: Minion | Funny | Quotes that will make you cry | Walking |
33. I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Tags: Funny | Minion | Quotes that will make you cry |
34. Humor is reason gone mad.
Tags: Minion | Funny | Quotes that will make you cry |
35. People, generally, suck.
Tags: Funny | Life | Minion | Quotes that will make you cry |
36. I know all those words, but that sentence makes no sense to me.
Tags: Minion | Funny | Quotes that will make you cry |
37. People have an annoying habit of remembering things they shouldn't.
Tags: Minion | Funny | Quotes that will make you cry |
38. What religion I follow? It is called none-of-your-business.
Tags: Funny | Minion | Quotes that make you think | Meaningful | Quotes that will make you cry |
39. I have lived with several Zen masters - all of them cats.
Tags: Funny | Minion | Quotes that make you think | Meaningful | Quotes that will make you cry |
40. There is no sadness that cannot be cured by breakfast food.
Tags: Sadness | Funny | Quotes that will make you cry |
41. Dear Frozen Yoghurt,
You are the celery of desserts.
Be Ice Cream, or be nothing.
Tags: Minion | Funny | Quotes that will make you cry |
42. Veganism is a sad result of a morally corrupt mind.
Reconsider your life.
Tags: Vegan | Funny | Quotes that will make you cry | Consideration |
43. Love is blind, it is the marriage that's the eye-opener.
Tags: Marriage | Funny | Minion | Nikah | Quotes that will make you cry | Hugot Lines in English |
44. Love is like peeing your pants everyone can see it but only you can feel it.
Thanks for being the pee in my pants.
Tags: Love | Funny | Minion | Quotes that will make you cry | Hugot Lines in English |
45. I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.
Tags: Funny | Lazy | Minion | Quotes that will make you cry | Hugot Lines in English |
46. Don’t be ashamed of who you are.
That’s your parent’s job.
Tags: Self Love | Self Esteem | Sassy | Funny | Quotes that will make you cry | Who Am I |
47. I can only please one person a day.
Today isn’t your day.
Tomorrow doesn’t look good either.
Tags: Pleasing | Sassy | Funny | Quotes that will make you cry |
48. Confidence level: selfie with no filter.
Tags: Selfie | Social Media | Confidence | Funny | Quotes that will make you cry |
49. I’m on a seafood diet, I see food and I eat it.
Tags: Weight Loss | Funny | Diet | Foodie | Quotes that will make you cry |
50. “AF” is my favorite unit of measurement.
Tags: Sassy | Social Media | Funny | Quotes that will make you cry |
51. Your hair is 90% of your selfie.
Tags: Selfie | Social Media | Hair | Sassy | Funny | Quotes that will make you cry |
52. When I drink alcohol… Everyone says I’m alcoholic. But… When I drink Fanta… No one says I’m fantastic.
Tags: Lame | Funny | Quotes that will make you cry |
53. My life feels like a test, for which I skipped studying.
Tags: Sassy | Life | Funny | Meaningful | Quotes that will make you cry |
54. How I feel when there is no coffee?
Depresso.
Tags: Coffee | Lame | Funny | Quotes that will make you cry |
55. Be proud of your extra pounds.
Studies state that fat people are harder to kidnap
Tags: Weight Loss | Funny | Diet | Foodie | Quotes that will make you cry |
56. I’m not mad you told all my friends I’m a psycho. They’re my friends, they already know.
Tags: Backbiting | Sassy | Funny | Quotes that will make you cry |
57. This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible.
This was terrible with raisins in it
Tags: Funny | Lame | Quotes that will make you cry |
58. The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.
Tags: Parenting | Funny | Quotes that will make you cry |
59. Every year, back comes Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants.
Tags: Pessimism | Negativity | Funny | Sassy | Sarcastic | Inspirational Women | Instagram captions for Girls | Quotes that will make you cry |
60. I'm trying to figure out if I love art enough to be poor.
Tags: Funny | Art | Poor | Funny | Art | Poor | Figuring It Out | Social Entrepreneurship | Quotes that will make you cry | Aesthetic |
61. If you're falling off a cliff, you may as well try to fly.
You've got nothing to lose.
Tags: Funny | Nothing To Lose | Loss | Flying | Quotes that will make you cry |
62. How can a living man be a person who has nothing to lose?
This is very absurd!
Even a dead man has something to lose: His coffin!
Tags: Funny | Nothing To Lose | Question | Absurd | Something To Lose | Quotes that will make you cry |
63. I won't be impressed with technology until I can download Chocolate.
Tags: Funny | Funny | Impressing | Hard To Impress | Chocolate | Quotes that will make you cry |
64. Don't think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.
