My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he ...

Dark Jokes Quotes

1. My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.

2. Genders are like the twin towers. There used to be two of them and now it’s a sensitive subject

3. “Dad, how do stars die?”
– “Usually an overdose.”

4. Kid: but mom I don’t want to see grandma
Mom: shut up and keep digging

5. Did you know that Germany came up with sparkling water

Who else would think of adding gas

6. Why are the twin towers mad?

They ordered pepperoni pizza but all they got was plain.

7. I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.

8. How do Mexicans feel about Trump’s wall? – They’ll get over it.

9. Its sad how families can be torn apart from something as simple as- wild dogs

10. I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions which made me cry.

Onions was a good dog.

11. How do you throw a surprise party at a hospital?

Bring a strobe light into the epilepsy ward.

12. My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.

13. A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a door. And a staircase.

14. What is the most expensive haircut
Chemotherapy

15. What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?

I don’t know. He hasn’t opened it yet.

16. The Somalian Olympics Team has just apologized to the Olympic Committee after realizing that sailing and shooting were two separate events.

17. When you wish upon a star...
you're actually a few million years late.

The star is dead.

Just like your dreams.