Many people spend more time in planning the wedding than they ...

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Funny Marriage Quotes

1. Many people spend more time in planning the wedding than they do in planning the marriage.

- Zig Ziglar


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2. My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.

- Socrates


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3. If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.


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4. Marriage is like a walk in the park... Jurassic Park.


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5. Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.

- Will Ferrell


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6. Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.

- Emma Bombeck


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7. My wife, Mary, and I have been married for forty-seven years, and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.

- Jack Benny


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8. Marriage is a bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.


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9. A good marriage is one where each partner secretly suspects they got the better deal.


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10. Marriage is like vitamins: We supplement each other’s minimum daily requirements.


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11. The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it.

- Ann Bancroft


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12. The most important four words for a successful marriage: I’ll do the dishes.


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13. Marriage is not just spiritual communion and passionate embraces; Marriage is also three-meals-a-day and remembering to carry the trash out.

- Joyce Brothers


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14. Before I got married I had six theories about raising children; now I have six children and no theories.

- John Wilmot


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15. I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

- Rita Rudner


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16. Marriage is an attempt to solve problems together which you didn’t even have when you were on your own.

- Eddie Cantor


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17. If you want to know how your girl will treat you after marriage, just listen to her talking to her little brother.

- Sam Levenson


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18. Many people spend more time in planning the wedding than they do in planning the marriage.

- Zig Ziglar


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19. Marriage: sometimes soulmates, sometimes cellmates.

- Rory Elder


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20. When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there’s a reason.

- Molly McGee


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21. A man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.


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22. Never laugh at your wife's choices. You are one of them.


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23. We both said 'I Do' and we haven't agreed on a single thing since.


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24. You know you are in a very happy marriage when the person still gives you the same feelings you get when you see your food coming at a restaurant.


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25. What did the two coffee enthusiasts say when they got married? We’re meant to bean together!


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26. Height of misunderstanding – A man marrying his own secretary thinking that she will still follow his orders as before.


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