Just because it's happening and you see it all the time, that ...
1. Just because it's happening and you see it all the time, that doesn't make it right. If it hurts your feelings, then it's wrong. If it degrades somebody, humiliates somebody, make him or her feel small - it's wrong.
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2. Privacy is power. What people don't know they can't ruin.
3. Guilt trips are a passive-aggressive form of manipulation and bullying. They're designed to give the manipulator exactly what they want at your expense. Your feelings and needs don't matter. By refusing to play their games and act or feel guilty, you disarm them and they lose their power over you.
Tags: Guilt | Passive Aggressive | Manipulation | Bully | Mind Games | Feelings | Needs | Selfishness | Selfish Friends | I Dont Care | Refusal | Saying No | Power | Life | Quotes that make you think |
4. Adult bullies don't simply target insecure people - they create them.
5. While many people think bullying only happen amongst children, it can also happen in the workplace or with relatives.
6. No matter what the age of the bully, they are opportunistic and tend to prey on people they perceive as a threat or they dislike because of differences.
7. Adult bullies almost always bully others continuously, and when one target leaves, they pick another.
8. An adult bully actually feels insecure or threatened.
9. When a toxic person can no longer control you, they will try to control how others see you. The misinformation will feel unfair, but stay above it, trusting that other people will eventually see the truth; just like you did.
10. If you are receiving silent treatment from an adult bully, either call out the behavior ASAP or ignore it.
11. If an adult bully attacks your self-esteem, become arms length or terminate the friendship.
12. Bullies are predators. They will go after the weakest prey. Trying to stop a bully by teaching a child to stand up to him is like teaching the weakest gazelle to be stronger. The predator will not stop going after the weakest prey, he will ONLY stop going after THAT target.
13. Bullies are found not just in schools, they grow up and work in offices, businesses and organizations.
14. Adult bullies need to make you feel bad so they can feel good. Twisted isn't it?
Hold your head up and chest out. Reality is they envy you! Your success, your looks, your car, your clothes, your job, your friends..something.. there is something about you that they envy. That is why they pick on you to feed their own insecurities and jealousy.
15. Just because it's happening and you see it all the time, that doesn't make it right. If it hurts your feelings, then it's wrong. If it degrades somebody, humiliates somebody, make him or her feel small - it's wrong.
16. You are being bullied if someone constantly demeans you and makes remarks about you, yelling at you, criticizing you, giving suggestions and giving you guilt trips if you don't take them.
17. Some people try to be tall by cutting off the heads of others.
18. Bullying: a form of aggressive behavior in which someone intentionally and repeatedly causes another person injury or discomfort. Bullying can take the form of physical contact, words, or more subtle actions.
19. A bully can be an aggressive juvenile, an intimidating boss or colleague, a controlling romantic partner, an unruly neighbor, a high-pressure sales/business representative, a condescending family member, a shaming social acquaintance, or those in a variety of other types of abusive relationships.
20. Physical bullying is the use of physical intimidation, threat, harassment or harm.Examples of physical bullying include physical attack, simulated violence (such as raising a fist as if to strike, or throwing objects near a person), extortion, date rape, marital rape, domestic violence, sexual harassment at work, personal space violation, physical space entrapment, physical size domination, and numerical domination (ganging up on a victim).
21. Tangible or material bullying: Using one’s formal power (i.e. title or position) or material leverage (i.e. financial, informational, or legal) as forms of intimidation, threat, harassment, and/or harm. In these scenarios, the bully uses his or her advantage in stature and/or resources to dominate and control the victim.
22. Verbal bullying: Threats; shaming; hostile teasing; insults; constant negative judgment and criticism; or racist, sexist, or homophobic language.
23. Passive-aggressive or covert bullying: Difficult to notice. A passive-aggressive or covert bully, however, behaves appropriately on the surface, but takes you down with subtlety.
Examples of passive-aggressive and covert bullying include negative gossip, negative joking at someone’s expense, sarcasm, condescending eye contact, facial expression or gestures, mimicking to ridicule, deliberately causing embarrassment and insecurity, the invisible treatment, social exclusion, professional isolation, and deliberately sabotaging someone’s well-being, happiness, and success.
Tags: Passive Aggressive | Bully | Adult Bully | Social Behavior | Subtle | Gossip | Poor Joke | When Someone Puts You Down | Looking Down | Shame | Embarassment | Insecurities | Treating Badly | Mental Wellness | Happiness | Success |
24. Cyberbullying: tangible, verbal, and passive-aggressive behavior of bullying can be conveyed online via social media, texting, video, email, on-line discussion, and other digital formats. Identity theft is also a form of cyberbullying.
25. Unless strong and effective boundaries are established, the bully is likely to repeat and intensify the abuse.
26. Many bullies are also cowards: When their victims begin to show backbone and stand up for their rights, a bully will often back down. This is true in schoolyards, as well as in domestic and office environments.
27. When confronting bullies, be sure to place yourself in a position where you can safely protect yourself, whether it’s standing tall on your own, having other people present as witnesses and support, or keeping a paper trail of the bully’s inappropriate behavior.
28. Two kids were beating up a kid in an ally, so I stepped into help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.
29. In the short term, corporal punishment may produce obedience. But it is a fact documented by research that in the long term the results are inability to learn, violence and rage, bullying, cruelty, inability to feel another's pain, especially that of one's own children, even drug addiction and suicide, unless there are enlightened or at least helping witnesses on hand to prevent that development.
30. The belief systems of the person with a victim identity fall along these lines:
1. Life is really, really hard.
2. Don't get up, you'll just get kicked back down again.
3. Beware, always beware of trickery; it's around every corner.
4. You can't trust anyone.
5. I can't.
7. You just don't understand how hard it is for me.
8. Everyone is always picking on me.
9. "They" are always bigger, badder and smarter than me.
31. The gain for the victim is in the fact that he can get people to stay and take care of him — for who could ever really leave the poor victim without feeling terribly guilty. In this way, victims often bully others into all kinds of care-giving, running the gamut from providing financially for poor victim, to literally making all of his choices for him. The victim typically knows exactly what buttons to push in others to get them to begin or continue to take care of him. Indeed, quite often the bully identity lurches backward into his shadowed victim identity, as a means of justifying his abuse of others.
32. People with Victim Identity attract bullies as their partners. Bully looks for those who he can take advantage of, and the victim believes that life is meant to be harder. A victim does not want to take responsibility of their own life from fear that thing might get a whole lot harder.
33. Being nice merely to be liked in return nullifies the point.