It would be nice if you didn’t correct me all the time. ...

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1. It would be nice if you didn’t correct me all the time.

It would be nice if I didn’t have to.


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2. Klaus: Hey, Do you think I could fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?
Five: You're a hazard to society.
Ben: And a coward. Do 20.


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3. Q:Why did the chicken cross the road?
Response:I don't know, why?
A:To get to the house of a dumbass.

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.


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4. Shiromori: How Tall are you?

Mystery: Height is a social construct.

Shiromori: So you'reshort.


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5. Hiccup: I can't believe we are stuck in this room together.
Dagur, swallowing the key: truly unfortunate.


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6. Allison: why would you give a knife to a child?
Diego: Claire felt unsafe
Allison: now i feel unsafe
Diego: I'm sorry
Diego: ... would you like a knife


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7. Hoseok: why do you watch so much murder stuff?
Yoongi: just in case you slip up.


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8. taehung: i'm so useless
yoongi: no you're not
yoongi: you can be used as a bad example


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9. Light: i have feelings for you
Misa: you do?
Light: yes. i feel you're a little bit annoying


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10. Gyro: alright so you and I are married
Johnny: we are not married
Gyro: it's a pretend.
Johnny: I don't wanna pretend
Gyro: scared you'll like it?
Johnny: okay if we're married, I want a divorce.
Diego: Are you two like this all the time?
Hot Pants: yes, they are.


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11. the quickest way to a man's heart is through 4th and 5th ribs


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12. Hephaestus: Sorry mom, called you by accident

Hera: No worries. Had you on accident


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13. A: [B], we tried things your way.
B: No, we didn't.
A: I did it in my head and it didn't work.


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14. A: Which movie are you and [C] going to see tonight?
B: Oh, I always go to whichever movie [C] wants.
A: Which one do they want to see?
B: I haven't decided yet.


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15. A: You think you're smarter than everyone else.
B: I don't think I'm smarter than everyone else. I know I am.


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16. A: How much did you spend on this?
B: $1400. But all of it's on credit cards, so it's like $5 a month for the next 2,000 years.


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17. A: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.


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18. A: That sounds like a terrible plan.
B: Oh, we've had worse.


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19. A: When I was young, I left a trail of broken hearts like a rockstar. I'm not proud of it.
B: You're kind of proud of it. You work it into a lot of conversations.


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20. A: *Answers phone.* Hello?
B: It's [B].
A: What did s/he do this time?
B: No, it's me, [B]. It's actually me.
A: What did you do this time?


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21. A: I sort of did something and I need some advice, but I don't want a lot of judgment and criticism.
B: And you came to me?


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22. A: Between C, D, E, and F -- if you had to -- who would you punch?
B: No one! They are my friends. I wouldn't punch any of them.
A: E?
B: Yeah, but I don't know why.


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23. A: So what do you have planned for the future?
B: Lunch.
A: No, like long term.
B: Oh...um, dinner?


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24. A: Can you be quiet?! I'm trying to think.
B: Don't worry. Doing anything for the first time is difficult.


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25. A: I trusted you!
B: Why?


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26. A, texting B: A theif.
B: Thief?
A: Theif.
B: I before E except after C.
A: Thceif.
B: No.


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27. Tagging a person who self-harms as "crazy" or "dangerous" is neither helpful, nor correct. Self-injury is a means they took in order to cope from their pain. They need your help, not your tags.


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28. It would be nice if you didn’t correct me all the time.

It would be nice if I didn’t have to.


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