If you want to know how your girl will treat you after marriag ...

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Funny Marriage Quotes

1. If you want to know how your girl will treat you after marriage, just listen to her talking to her little brother.

- Sam Levenson


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2. If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.


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3. Marriage is like a walk in the park... Jurassic Park.


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4. Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.

- Will Ferrell


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5. Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.

- Emma Bombeck


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6. My wife, Mary, and I have been married for forty-seven years, and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.

- Jack Benny


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Tags: Funny Marriage   |    Marriage Story   |    Marriage   |    Murder   |    Divorce   |    Sarcastic   |    Consideration   |   



7. Marriage is a bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.


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8. A good marriage is one where each partner secretly suspects they got the better deal.


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9. Marriage is like vitamins: We supplement each other’s minimum daily requirements.


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Tags: Funny Marriage   |    Vitamin   |    Supportive   |    Needs   |   

10. The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it.

- Ann Bancroft


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Tags: Mind Games   |    Funny Marriage   |    Reverse Psychology   |    Psychology   |    Self Esteem   |    Insecurities   |    Validation   |    Approval   |   



11. The most important four words for a successful marriage: I’ll do the dishes.


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12. Marriage is not just spiritual communion and passionate embraces; Marriage is also three-meals-a-day and remembering to carry the trash out.

- Joyce Brothers


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13. Before I got married I had six theories about raising children; now I have six children and no theories.

- John Wilmot


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Tags: Funny Marriage   |    Irony   |    Hypothetical   |    Planning   |   



14. I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

- Rita Rudner


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15. Marriage is an attempt to solve problems together which you didn’t even have when you were on your own.

- Eddie Cantor


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16. If you want to know how your girl will treat you after marriage, just listen to her talking to her little brother.

- Sam Levenson


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17. Many people spend more time in planning the wedding than they do in planning the marriage.

- Zig Ziglar


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18. Marriage: sometimes soulmates, sometimes cellmates.

- Rory Elder


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19. When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there’s a reason.

- Molly McGee


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20. A man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.


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Tags: Funny Marriage   |    Beauty   |    Character   |    Decision   |    Bigger Picture   |    Perspective   |    Logic   |   

21. Never laugh at your wife's choices. You are one of them.


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22. We both said 'I Do' and we haven't agreed on a single thing since.


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23. You know you are in a very happy marriage when the person still gives you the same feelings you get when you see your food coming at a restaurant.


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24. What did the two coffee enthusiasts say when they got married? We’re meant to bean together!


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