Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind.
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1. Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind.


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2. Well you are worse than I thought.


3. Did you hear that? It’s the sound of no one caring…


4. Woman: "If you were my husband, I'd poison your coffee."
Man: "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."


5. You have a face not even a mother could love.


6. I can get a plastic surgery to fix my ugliness, you on the other hand will be stupid for eternity.



7. You’re gay.
You wish i was.


8. I am happier than you are.


9. At least I smell good.


10. Yeah, that's no problem, you're not my type anyway.


11. I love what you’ve done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that?


12. Stupidity isn't a crime, so you’re free to go.


13. If I had a face like yours I’d sue my parents.


14. You’re not stupid; you just have bad luck when thinking.


15. I was hoping for a battle of wits but you appear to be unarmed.


16. You bring everyone a lot of joy, when you leave the room.


17. I don’t exactly hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water, I’d drink it.


18. Shock me, say something intelligent.


19. You have the perfect face for radio.


20. Damn not you again.


21. I fart to make you smell better.


22. 100,000 sperm, you were the fastest?


23. Ordinarily people live and learn. You just live.


24. If I am ugly then you must be hideous


25. Guys like you are why girls turn into lesbians.


26. Your only purpose in life is as an organ donor.


27. Have a nice day, somewhere else.


28. "Wanna hear a joke?"
"No, thanks I am already looking at one!"


29. After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."
She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."


30. If you really want to know about mistakes, you should ask your parents.


31. Please, keep talking. I always yawn when I am interested.


32. Jesus loves you… but everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.


33. You have the right to remain silent because whatever you say will probably be stupid anyway.


34. I had a nightmare. I dreamed I was you.


35. Nice shirt, what brand is it? Clearance?


36. You have enough fat to make another human.


37. I am not anti-social. I just don’t like you.


38. You shouldn't talk about your mom like that.


39. The 80s called. They want their haircut back.
The 1880s called, too. They want their joke back.


40. Is that your face? Or did your neck just throw up?
Couldn’t help it. One look at you and I started to vomit.


41. I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and crap a better argument than yours.
Well it would be a nice change from all the crap that’s been coming out of your mouth!


42. Is that perfume or marinade?
Actually, it’s jerk repellent, but it doesn’t seem to be working.


43. Do they make those pants in men’s sizes?
Why, are you looking for something to get your wife?


44. How’s the wife and my kids?
Your kids? That explains why they’re so ugly.


45. You have your entire life to be a jerk. Why not take today off?


46. Some day you’ll go far — and I really hope you stay there.


47. Sometimes it’s better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you’re stupid than open it and remove all doubt.


48. I’m not a proctologist, but I know an asshole when I see one.


49. Everyone’s entitled to act stupid once in awhile, but you really abuse the privilege.


50. Good story, but in what chapter do you shut the fuck up?


51. Don’t hate me because I’m smart. Hate me because your girlfriend thinks so.


52. Are you always such an idiot, or do you just show off when I’m around?


53. You have a right to your opinion and I have a right to ignore it.


54. I used to think I was overreacting. Now I realize that it was a normal reaction to an abnormal amount of bullshit.


55. It's scary to think that people like you are graduating from college.


56. That's why you shouldn't speak until you're spoken to.


57. You better hope you marry rich.


58. Aww, it's so cute when you try to talk about things you don't understand.


59. If everywhere you go there’s a problem.. Guess what?


60. No really, it’s adorable when you blame everyone but yourself.


61. I think some people enjoy complaining almost as much as they enjoy doing nothing about it.


62. You. Cut out that egocentric control bullshit now.


63. I’m sorry that the control freak in you activates the psycho bitch in me.


64. Oh yes, let’s ignore everything I just said and talk some more about you.


65. I don’t know why you think you have a psychic ability to read me!


66. It’s called originality, you should try it sometime.


67. Thanks for trying so hard to be just like me. I wouldn’t want to be you, either.


68. You were born an original don’t die a copy.

