do you react in situation rather than think it through? som ...
1. do you react in situation rather than think it through?
someone calls you an inconsiderate idiot and you feel angry.
someone cuts in front of you on the freeway and you feel angry.
someone attacks your friend and you feel angry.
someone tells you that you will not get the pay increase that you think you deserve, and you feel angry.
What causes you to feel anger? what do all of the situations have in common?
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2. Don't ever abuse a kind heart,
You may never be offered one again.
3. Her mood was suddenly in free fall, a state she knew all too well. A heaviness inside. A hollow loneliness. A need to either quarrel or cry. A downward plunge that could only be escaped by huge loss of temper, howling for her mother, or what people like teachers called going too far.
Trouble on the way.
4. I love her mood swings. Especially, on those four days of every month. For that's when she's like a cute child.
5. I was sitting with the Prophet (pbuh) when two men began to quarrel and curse each other and the face of one of them turned red and the veins of his neck were swollen (from rage). Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said,
"I know of a word, if he were to utter that, his rage would vanish and that is:
A'udhu billahi minash-Shaitan nir-rajim
(I seek refuge with Allah from Satan, the accursed)."
So they (Companions) said to him: "The Prophet (pbuh) tells you to utter: 'I seek refuge with Allah from Satan, the accursed".
6. "When one of you becomes angry while standing, he should sit down. If the anger leaves him, well and good; otherwise he should lie down."
[Sunan Abi Dawud 4782]
7. Remember that anger and swearing never really suppresses your anger and does not relieve you of emotional burden. It is just converted into stress, guilt and more worry. The only way out is to have patience on expressing your anger.
8. Give yourself an incentive to behave. Why not give yourself a small treat if you manage to get through PMS without losing your temper?
9. If a woman is upset, hold her and tell her how beautiful she is.
If she starts to growl, retreat to a safe distance and throw chocolate at her.
10. You look so pretty when you're angry
11. A person's true Sabar is shown at the time of anger.
12. Patience (Sabar) is that the heart does not feel anger towards that which is destined, and the mouth does not complain.
13. Sabr is not remaining quiet and allowing anger to build up inside you. Sabr is to talk about what's bothering you without losing control of your emotions.
14. If you can learn to endure pain, you can survive anything. Some people learn to embrace it- to love it. Some endure it through drowning it in sorrow, or by making themselves forget. Others turn it into anger.
15. You learn about anger in the family you grow up in; you watch and listen to the adults around you who model for you how and when to express it. And you learn that it can be respected, that it can be avoided, or that it can be abusive.
16. Sometimes, anger is really irritability. It’s about being in a bad mood, or waking up on the wrong side of the bed. Hopefully, you can recognize that before you do or say something you’ll regret.
17. Someone tells a demeaning joke, and you feel your skin crawl. Someone speeds through a stoplight, nearly missing a child, and you get angry. That’s a sign that a boundary has been crossed for you. Something important to you has been threatened, disregarded, or mocked.
18. Anger isn’t violent in and of itself. The power of anger can be respected, and voiced respectfully. You may have to wait until you’re not quite so mad and when your words can be calm.
19. How To Safely Talk about Pain from Your Past
You have to remember that a therapist is trained to hear about trauma and knows how to respond. Your partner might not - they might get angry - not at you but for you. So you have to admit that you are very sensitive to their reaction and ask them to slow down and simply be with you in that moment.
20. When we meet someone and begin to discover who they are or what makes them tick, what disappoints them, what pleases them - they are giving you information about their limits - whether or not they call it that or not. Their Values. And you are doing the same thing.
21. When you're angry with your parents, imagine a life without them.
22. when a girl cries, it's not usually over one thing. It's built up anger and emotions that she's been holding for too long.
23. Feelings that make one cut or hurt themselves:
24. Self harm is a form of expression of your pain and intense emotions. Express it through other means such as writing a journal, write a song, take a bath, cuddle a pet, call a friend, exercise, punch a cushion or a mattress or scream into your pillow, squeeze a stress ball, Rip something up (paper, magazine), place rubber bands on your wrist, arms or legs and snap instead of cutting.
25. How beautiful it is to stay silent when someone expects you to be very angry.
26. I am too weary to listen, too angry to hear.
27. Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance.
28. Anger management classes seem to be getting popular nowadays.
You could say they're all the rage.
29. I run a restaurant and have written a book about Anger Managment
It’s called Why is the hostess crying again?
30. My boss gave me a brochure on anger management a few hours ago.
I just lost it.
31. Sorry I Ovary-acted.
32. With Facebook, you're not really allowed to be unhappy. Think about it: There's only a like button. Yes, you can be angry, but it's only lighthearted rage. On Reddit, perhaps because you can be anonymous, people are willing to be openly sad or angry. They are more honest.
33. I have a limit and when you reach it, I dismiss you from my life. It is that simple.
34. It was the way she looked at me the whole time. That look said more than she ever could and, in turn, scared me more than her words alone ever could.
35. Listen to the child—find out why he/she did or did not do something.
Explain your reasons; this will enhance the child's decision-making capacities.
The nine inborn feelings (interest, enjoyment, surprise, distress, anger, fear, shame, disgust, and dismal) should be labeled with words. This will facilitate tension regulation and aid the transition to more mature ways of handling emotion.
Positive reinforcement—rewards and praise—will enhance the child's self-esteem when appropriate standards are met. Positive reinforcement is more effective in obtaining long-term behavioral compliance than frightening and shaming punishments.
Set a good example for the child. The child wants to be like the parents. Children identify with their parents, and they will put feelings and actions into words when they see their parents doing this. Who the parents are, and how they behave, will have a profound impact on the development of their children. Your child will follow your lead.
36. You're a tornado
with pretty eyes
and a heartbeat.
37. Violence is often the reflection of itself, and terrorism becomes the manifestation of anger in its victims.
38. How to Deal with a Lazy Coworker?
1. Be assertive, don't do their work. Don't be an enabler for them.
2. Stay professional and don't speak from a place of anger.
3. Don't gossip about the Lazy coworker with your other colleagues. Speak directly to the lazy coworker.
4. Talk to the Project Manager if the lazy coworker is affecting business.
39. Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence.
40. Stick with the people who pull the magic out of you and not the madness.
41. love when the washing machine gets to the angry part.
let it out girl.
42. inside every ANGRY CHILD is an emotion they haven’t been able to comprehend, and inside every ANGRY ADULT is that child.
43. When a symptom arises, don’t fight with it by asking “are you gonna get worse? Are you connected to a disease or illness?”.
This much focus on a particular symptom eats up on the person’s willpower and their ability to engage in whats taking place in the present moment. Start understanding what your body is trying to tell you. Look at what you are suppressing, the fears, the angers, the doubts, the un forgiveness towards yourself and others.
You must be open to taking in those messages, and using them to be able to resolve what your body wants you to resolve.
Stop fighting what you are fighting with on the inside, and begin understanding them.
44. Anger is a strong emotion that seemingly overwhelms us causing us to sabotage goals, ruin relationships, overstep boundaries and sometimes break laws.
45. How to manage anger?
Write out when do you get angry?
What are the triggers?
What is your typical response do those triggers?
Consider these questions to assess whether your anger is harmful or helpful.
do you yell or swear? do you lash out or hit someone? do you manipulate or try to control others? do you mumble under your breath? do you think others are not as good as you are?
if you answered these questions with “yes” or a “maybe”, then you have an anger problem and the next step is to admit that you have a problem with the anger. once you admit that you have a problem you are on the path to change.
46. Maybe you don’t lash out, manipulate or withdraw when you are angry. However, you may find resentment building overtime or you may ruminate over the disappointments you have experiences and the people who have caused you to feel that way.
Resentment and rumination only keep anger brewing.
47. if you keep telling yourself that people are out to get me, or they did it intentionally, your anger will escalate.
if you tell yourself maybe he or she was not thinking clearly, or he or she didn’t really mean to do this end – you will De-escalate the angry feelings.
48. Practice empathy to manage anger.
Empathy is putting yourself in someone else’s shoes.
if you are empathic to others you will win friends and influence people.
49. Some examples of showing empathy.
“You seem to be stressed out by work“
“You are frustrated that I didn’t call you as I promised“
50. tips to manage anger
try to interrupt your anger when you first feel frustrated or heated.
take a time out, or say to yourself “I can deal with this later.”
51. When you get angry, take a timeout and think about the situation, examine the issues and facts.
Think about how to present your feelings and the issue, along with a short request such as “ I would appreciate it if you would discuss any major purchases with me in the future”
52. It’s totally fine to get angry. It is a feeling and an emotion. Every feeling that you have has a purpose.
What is bad is not the anger, but our reaction.
53. What happens after you yell and scream at someone you love?
You feel shame, regret, awful. It feels relief at the moment, but then it feels terrible.
54. How is your relationship with Anger? What did my parents teach me about anger that I picked up as I was growing up.
If the message you picked up is “Anger is not good” and “you should hide it”, that is not how we should deal with our feelings.
55. To deal with your anger (or any other feeling), you need to relate with them, by talking to ourselves and acknowledging. By saying “I see you, I hear you. You have a message for me. What is it?”
56. Kids can exhibit favoritism between mom and dad.
This can hurt the feelings of the parent.
The obvious feeling is feeling rejected,
“I HATE YOU MOM.”
That’s rejection plus lack of respect.
Usually, they don’t mean it.
57. When our child is rejecting us, spewing stuff at us and hurting our feelings, you need to say to yourself
“This isn’t about me. What they are saying is not a gauge for my own self worth. I am a good parent. This child is having a hard time. I will help them through it.”
58. If you have a strong-willed child, chances are that you were also a strong-willed child (or maybe a compliant people pleasing child, and strong will seems so foreign to you).
These are the reasons that may develop anger in parents if they have a strong willed child.
59. Don’t take the bait of a strong-willed child and make a situation “Me vs My Child”.
A strong willed child can make you react like it’s a power struggle situation.
It should always be “US vs the problem”.