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Crabgrass can grow on bowling balls in airless rooms, and there is no - Crabgrass can grow on bowling balls in airless rooms

1. Crabgrass can grow on bowling balls in airless rooms, and there is no known way to kill it that does not involve nuclear weapons.

- Dave Barry

Tags: Funny Gardening | Garden |

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Crabgrass can grow on bowling balls in airless rooms, and there is no - roses are dead, violets are dead, I am a bad gardene

2. roses are dead, violets are dead, I am a bad gardener.

Tags: Funny Gardening | Garden |

Crabgrass can grow on bowling balls in airless rooms, and there is no - A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival s

3. A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows.

- Doug Larson

Tags: Funny Gardening | Survivor |

Crabgrass can grow on bowling balls in airless rooms, and there is no - Your first job is to prepare the soil. The best tool

4. Your first job is to prepare the soil. The best tool for this is your neighbor’s motorized garden tiller. If your neighbor does not own a garden tiller, suggest that he buy one.

- Dave Barry

Tags: Funny Gardening | Influenced | Ulterior Motive | Soil |

Crabgrass can grow on bowling balls in airless rooms, and there is no - A man should never plant a garden larger than his wi

5. A man should never plant a garden larger than his wife can take care of.

- T H Everette

Tags: Funny Gardening | Funny Wife |

6. Crabgrass can grow on bowling balls in airless rooms, and there is no known way to kill it that does not involve nuclear weapons.

- Dave Barry

Tags: Funny Gardening | Garden |

Crabgrass can grow on bowling balls in airless rooms, and there is no - When weeding, the best way to make sure you are remo

7. When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

Tags: Garden | Funny Gardening | Irony |

Crabgrass can grow on bowling balls in airless rooms, and there is no - What do you get if you divide the circumference of

8. What do you get if you divide the circumference
of a pumpkin by its diameter?

Pumpkin pi.

Tags: Funny Gardening | Tree Puns | Puns | Garden Puns |

Crabgrass can grow on bowling balls in airless rooms, and there is no - What does the letter “A” have in common with a f

9. What does the letter “A” have in common with a flower?
They both have bees coming after them.

Crabgrass can grow on bowling balls in airless rooms, and there is no - Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the sal

10. Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing.

Tags: Funny Gardening | Brain Teaser Riddles | Lame Questions Answers | Garden Puns |

Crabgrass can grow on bowling balls in airless rooms, and there is no - Why didn’t anyone laugh at the gardener’s jokes?

11. Why didn’t anyone laugh at the gardener’s jokes?
Because they were too corny.

Tags: Funny Gardening | Garden Puns | Puns |

Crabgrass can grow on bowling balls in airless rooms, and there is no - What do you get if you cross a four leaf clover with

12. What do you get if you cross a four leaf clover with poison ivy?
A rash of good luck.

Tags: Funny Gardening | Garden | Tree Puns | Garden Puns |

Crabgrass can grow on bowling balls in airless rooms, and there is no - What do you call it when worms take over the world?

13. What do you call it when worms take over the world?
Global Worming

Tags: Funny Gardening | Global Warming | Puns | Garden Puns |

Crabgrass can grow on bowling balls in airless rooms, and there is no - What kind of tree has hands? A palm tree.

14. What kind of tree has hands?
A palm tree.

Crabgrass can grow on bowling balls in airless rooms, and there is no - What happened to the plant in math class? It grew s

15. What happened to the plant in math class?
It grew square roots.

Tags: Funny Gardening | Tree Puns | Puns | Garden Puns |

Crabgrass can grow on bowling balls in airless rooms, and there is no - Gardening is cheaper than therapy. And you get Tomat

16. Gardening is cheaper than therapy. And you get Tomatoes.

Tags: Funny Gardening | Cheap | Therapy |

Crabgrass can grow on bowling balls in airless rooms, and there is no - A person of words and not deeds, is like a garden fu

17. A person of words and not deeds, is like a garden full of weeds.

Crabgrass can grow on bowling balls in airless rooms, and there is no - Thyme is of the essence.

18. Thyme is of the essence.

Tags: Garden Puns | Puns | Funny Gardening |

Crabgrass can grow on bowling balls in airless rooms, and there is no - Always try to grow in your garden some plant or plan

19. Always try to grow in your garden some plant or plants out of the ordinary, something your neighbors never attempted. For you can receive no greater flattery than to have a gardener of equal intelligence stand before your plant and ask, 'What is that?'

- Richardson Wright