An apple a day keeps everyone away. If you throw it hard en ...
1. An apple a day keeps everyone away.
If you throw it hard enough.
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2. I do a thing called "What I Want"
3. I like my coffee how I like myself: Dark, bitter, and to hot for you.
4. Tell me not to do something and I will do it twice and take pictures.
5. Don’t be ashamed of who you are.
That’s your parent’s job.
6. Life isn’t perfect but your outfit can be.
7. Always classy never trashy and a little bit sassy.
8. I can only please one person a day.
Today isn’t your day.
Tomorrow doesn’t look good either.
9. A sass a day keeps the basics away.
10. Don’t stand too close to the heater babe.
11. I always laugh when people try to hurt my feelings.
As if I have any.
12. I´m not mean, I´m just brutally honest.
It´s not my fault that truth hurts.
Here’s a band-aid.
13. The difference between a pizza and your opinion is that I only asked for the pizza.
14. Sassy, Classy, and Bad-assy!
15. “AF” is my favorite unit of measurement.
16. Your hair is 90% of your selfie.
17. Why fit in when you were born to stand out?
18. I’m the reason I smile every day.
19. I haven’t changed.
I grew up.
Maybe you should give it a try sometime.
20. A woman knows what is best for her either by intuition or instinct.
21. Don’t hate me, just get to know me first!
22. Judge me when you become perfect.
23. I don’t need your approval, darling. I have my own.
24. My life feels like a test, for which I skipped studying.
25. Revenge? Nah, I’m too lazy for that shit.
I’m gonna just sit here and watch from the front seat when karma hits you.
26. I don’t hate you.
It’s either I love you or I don’t care at all.
27. Dear Karma, I’ve got a list of people you have missed.
28. An apple a day keeps everyone away.
If you throw it hard enough.
29. When there are so many haters and negative things, I really don’t care.
30. Don’t get bitter, get better.
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31. Be happy; it drives people crazy.
32. Don’t be easy to define.
Let them wonder about you.
33. Not everyone likes me, but not everyone matters to me.
34. Life is short.
Smile while you still have teeth.
35. Look – I’m only responsible for the words that come out of my mouth.
I’m not responsible for you not understanding them.
36. I’m sassy, even though I hate that word! I’m sensitive and cry really easily.
37. I’m not mad you told all my friends I’m a psycho. They’re my friends, they already know.
38. Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius, and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.
39. I do not want people to be agreeable, as it saves me that trouble of liking them.
40. Don't look at me in that tone of voice.
41. Women and elephants never forget.
42. You think You're frightening me with Your hell, don't You?
You think Your hell is worse than mine.
43. Every year, back comes Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants.
44. don’t know and don’t care
45. I'm sorry am I supposed to care?
46. Stay real. Stay loyal or stay away from me.
47. Love your haters, they’re your biggest fans.
48. I may love to shop, but I am not buying your Bullshit.
49. You're fluent in lies, excuses and B.S.
50. You might fool hundreds of people into believing you are something you're not, but I will always be that one person who figured you out and knows who you really are under all that bullshit!
51. I'm sorry what language are you speaking?
It sounds like bullshit.
52. Apparently people don't like the truth, but I do like it; I like it because it upsets a lot of people. If you show them enough times that their arguments are bullshit, then maybe just once, one of them will say, 'Oh! Wait a minute - I was wrong.' I live for that happening. Rare, I assure you
53. I wonder if you can taste the bullsh*t that's coming out of your mouth.
54. Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they'll start using it.
55. My friend, remember that without stupidity there wouldn't be intelligence, and without ugliness there wouldn't be beauty, so the world needs you after all.
56. Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.
57. Did you just fall?
No, I was checking if gravity still works.
58. Whoever said, ‘It’s not whether you win or lose that counts,’ probably lost.
59. An old teacher asked her student, “If I say, ‘I am beautiful,’ which tense is that?”
The student replied, “It is obviously past.”
60. If I wanted to kill myself I would climb up to the top of your ego and jump to your IQ
61. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes.
She hugged me.
62. Wife: I have changed my mind.
Husband: Does the new one work?
63. You're gonna catch a cold from the Ice inside your soul.