A person of words and not deeds, is like a garden full of weed ...
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Funny Gardening Quotes
1. A person of words and not deeds, is like a garden full of weeds.


Tags: Funny Gardening | Garden | Talking Too Much | Actions | Intention |
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2. roses are dead, violets are dead, I am a bad gardener.


Tags: Funny Gardening | Garden |
3. A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows.


Tags: Funny Gardening | Survivor |
4. Your first job is to prepare the soil. The best tool for this is your neighbor’s motorized garden tiller. If your neighbor does not own a garden tiller, suggest that he buy one.


Tags: Funny Gardening | Influenced | Ulterior Motive | Soil |
5. A man should never plant a garden larger than his wife can take care of.


Tags: Funny Gardening | Funny Wife |
6. Crabgrass can grow on bowling balls in airless rooms, and there is no known way to kill it that does not involve nuclear weapons.


Tags: Funny Gardening | Garden |

7. When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.


Tags: Garden | Funny Gardening | Irony |
8. What do you get if you divide the circumference
of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin pi.


Tags: Funny Gardening | Tree Puns | Puns | Garden Puns |
9. What does the letter “A” have in common with a flower?
They both have bees coming after them.


Tags: Funny Gardening | Flower | Blossom | Brain Teaser Riddles | Garden Puns |
10. Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing.


Tags: Funny Gardening | Brain Teaser Riddles | Lame Questions Answers | Garden Puns |
11. Why didn’t anyone laugh at the gardener’s jokes?
Because they were too corny.


Tags: Funny Gardening | Garden Puns | Puns |
12. What do you get if you cross a four leaf clover with poison ivy?
A rash of good luck.


Tags: Funny Gardening | Garden | Tree Puns | Garden Puns |
13. What do you call it when worms take over the world?
Global Worming


Tags: Funny Gardening | Global Warming | Puns | Garden Puns |
14. What kind of tree has hands?
A palm tree.


Tags: Funny Gardening | Brain Teaser Riddles | Brain Puns | Tree Puns | Puns | Garden Puns |
15. What happened to the plant in math class?
It grew square roots.


Tags: Funny Gardening | Tree Puns | Puns | Garden Puns |
16. Gardening is cheaper than therapy. And you get Tomatoes.


Tags: Funny Gardening | Cheap | Therapy |
17. A person of words and not deeds, is like a garden full of weeds.


Tags: Funny Gardening | Garden | Talking Too Much | Actions | Intention |
18. Thyme is of the essence.


Tags: Garden Puns | Puns | Funny Gardening |
19. Always try to grow in your garden some plant or plants out of the ordinary, something your neighbors never attempted. For you can receive no greater flattery than to have a gardener of equal intelligence stand before your plant and ask, 'What is that?'


Tags: Funny Gardening | Garden | Flattery | Neighbor | Competition | Intelligence |
20. Don't wear perfume in the garden - unless you want to be pollinated by bees.


Tags: Garden | Funny Gardening | Perfume |
21. Compost Happens.


Tags: Funny Gardening |
22. Plantus unknownus


Tags: Funny Gardening |
23. I don’t remember planting this...


Tags: Funny Gardening |
24. My garden was at its best yesterday, sorry you missed it.


Tags: Funny Gardening |
25. I asked the staff at my local garden centre what to grow in my garden. They gave me some sage advice.


Tags: Garden Puns | Funny Gardening | Puns |