1. A: I trusted you!
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2. Klaus: Hey, Do you think I could fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?
Five: You're a hazard to society.
Ben: And a coward. Do 20.
3. Q:Why did the chicken cross the road?
Response:I don't know, why?
A:To get to the house of a dumbass.
4. Shiromori: How Tall are you?
Mystery: Height is a social construct.
Shiromori: So you'reshort.
5. Hiccup: I can't believe we are stuck in this room together.
Dagur, swallowing the key: truly unfortunate.
6. Allison: why would you give a knife to a child?
Diego: Claire felt unsafe
Allison: now i feel unsafe
Diego: I'm sorry
Diego: ... would you like a knife
7. Hoseok: why do you watch so much murder stuff?
Yoongi: just in case you slip up.
8. taehung: i'm so useless
yoongi: no you're not
yoongi: you can be used as a bad example
9. Light: i have feelings for you
Misa: you do?
Light: yes. i feel you're a little bit annoying
10. Gyro: alright so you and I are married
Johnny: we are not married
Gyro: it's a pretend.
Johnny: I don't wanna pretend
Gyro: scared you'll like it?
Johnny: okay if we're married, I want a divorce.
Diego: Are you two like this all the time?
Hot Pants: yes, they are.
11. the quickest way to a man's heart is through 4th and 5th ribs
12. Hephaestus: Sorry mom, called you by accident
Hera: No worries. Had you on accident
13. A: [B], we tried things your way.
B: No, we didn't.
A: I did it in my head and it didn't work.
14. A: Which movie are you and [C] going to see tonight?
B: Oh, I always go to whichever movie [C] wants.
A: Which one do they want to see?
B: I haven't decided yet.
15. A: You think you're smarter than everyone else.
B: I don't think I'm smarter than everyone else. I know I am.
16. A: How much did you spend on this?
B: $1400. But all of it's on credit cards, so it's like $5 a month for the next 2,000 years.
17. A: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.
18. A: That sounds like a terrible plan.
B: Oh, we've had worse.
19. A: When I was young, I left a trail of broken hearts like a rockstar. I'm not proud of it.
B: You're kind of proud of it. You work it into a lot of conversations.
20. A: *Answers phone.* Hello?
B: It's [B].
A: What did s/he do this time?
B: No, it's me, [B]. It's actually me.
A: What did you do this time?
21. A: I sort of did something and I need some advice, but I don't want a lot of judgment and criticism.
B: And you came to me?
22. A: Between C, D, E, and F -- if you had to -- who would you punch?
B: No one! They are my friends. I wouldn't punch any of them.
B: Yeah, but I don't know why.
23. A: So what do you have planned for the future?
A: No, like long term.
B: Oh...um, dinner?
24. A: Can you be quiet?! I'm trying to think.
B: Don't worry. Doing anything for the first time is difficult.
25. A: I trusted you!
26. A, texting B: A theif.
B: I before E except after C.
27. Tagging a person who self-harms as "crazy" or "dangerous" is neither helpful, nor correct. Self-injury is a means they took in order to cope from their pain. They need your help, not your tags.
28. It would be nice if you didn’t correct me all the time.
It would be nice if I didn’t have to.